Friday, May 11, 2012

Word To The Mothers

Since Mother's Day is this Sunday, I thought I'd take this post to acknowledge and say thank you to some of the moms I know.  These are moms who have helped me in my quest to be a better mom to my girls.  I am so grateful and blessed to have all of you in my life.


A big Happy Mother's Day and thank you:


First and foremost to my sisters Beth, and Megan.  Without you two I would have gone insane six years ago.  I love that we all have kids close in age, even if we are not close geographically.  I know I can pick up the phone to call one or both of you for help, advice, or more importantly, just to bitch.  Never underestimate the power of a good ol' bitch session.  We don't.  You two are my Xanax.  I feel like we've always been close, but sharing the experience of motherhood has bonded us even more.  I love you both!


To my sister-in-law Brenda. From being the oldest in our family, to having younger sisters with the same name, to marrying a Dadekian boy, you and I have much in common.  I know I can always count on you when I need something.  I lucked out when you married into the family, and you are an amazing working mom.  You really make doing it all look so easy.


To my mother-in-law, Julia.  Thank you for doing a fantastic job as a mom to your boys.  Your hard work has given me a husband who is a phenomenal father to our girls.  Thank you also for not being one of those mother-in-laws who constantly sticks her nose in our business.  You give us our space, but are always helpful and there when we need you.  I love our girl chats when you come to visit.


To my Aunt Robin, Cousin Donna, and Cousin Michelle.  You three have been through some hard times as a  mom.  Donna I know this last year has been worse for you than anyone.  You've all always come out stronger on the other side with experience to share with other moms.  Donna,  this will be a hard Mother's Day for you, but please know I am thinking of you.  I love you all!


To my friends Carey and Laurie.  Our girls are the reason why I know you, but I consider you both friends of mine now.  I would never turn down a chance for coffee (or wine) and a gab session with you ladies. Your girls are great kids. They are the kind of kids I like for my girls to be friends with.  I always love trading play times with both of you.


To my first real mom friend, Stacy.  I didn't know any other moms when I had Sonya.  It took me until she was ten months old to find a great friend with a baby the same age, even if they were different sexes.  At first it didn't matter, I thought for sure it eventually would, but it still doesn't.  It's so nice that Carter and Sonya have the kind of friendship that goes past Barbies and Transformers.  Thanks for always being there when I needed someone to watch the girls when I was pregnant (both times!).  I'm especially thankful that you moved back to Burbank so we can hang out again.  I forgot how much I missed you!


To one of my BFFs BethAnnDoddKoehn.  Even though we might not have been as close for a while after high school, I love that having kids has brought us together again.  (Hmm-did that sound a little gay?) You are so important to me because you are my people.  We get each other when most people don't.  Thank you for moving back to California.  Texas was so not the way to go.


To my BFF Melissa.  I was so excited when you had Kennedy last year.  It meant you got to experience everything I had for the past  six years.  It meant I got to hold a baby again.  It meant that you got it now.  You got what I had been bragging/bitching about for forever.  You've been one of my best friends for so long and I'm glad this is another part of our friendship we can share.  Now, have another one so you can REALLY get it!


To my college friend Trista.  I was happy when you had Eben last year for the same reasons.  Because you get it now too.  I always said you needed to have kids, and I'm so glad you decided to.  Eben is an awesome baby.  (Minus the 4am screaming session at my house.  It's okay, we've all been there.) We need more moms like you in the world, because you will raise him without all that crazy "helicopter parent" nonsense.  He will be a strong, smart, great kid.  I have no doubt.   Now, you have another one too!


To my friend Ann.  Thank you for letting Andy and me practice having kids, with your kids.  I will never forget holding Jack as a newborn and then two weeks later getting pregnant with Sonya.  It's like holding him put my uterus in prep mode.  I am always amazed by how you balance the amount of work you do and still find a way to give so much to your kids.  Do you sleep?  Ever?


To my friend Melinda and my oldest friend Kelly.  And by oldest I don't mean in age, but in friendship years.  We've been friends for 32 years.  Crazy!  Anyway-I know you two don't have your own kids, but you are Godmother to two of my girls.  (Melissa is Sonya's but I already mentioned her on here.)  Thank you for making  Lana and GG feel extra special.  They can all tell you who their Godmother is.  Even though your are far away Kelly, Lana asks about you all that time.  Thank you both for always being there for me and my girls.


This one might seem odd to some of you but- to Heather at dooce.com.  Some of you hear me talk about her as "the girl whose blog I read".  I stumbled across her blog before I had Sonya and am always thankful I did.  Her blog got me through my first year of motherhood before my sisters or any of my friends had kids.  It was during a time when I had a very screamy baby, family far across the country and days of feeling very alone in this job.  Her writing about  similar experiences with her baby is what helped get me through.  I knew I wasn't alone and I didn't have the only baby that liked to scream.  A LOT.  I thank her for her sharing her life as a mother to help those of us who needed it.  Even though I don't know her personally at all, I feel like she is a friend because of how much she's helped me and how I relate to her.  She was a big inspiration for this blog.   Her website is great and still one I read on a regular basis.  Check it out if you get a chance.


To all my mom readers, which is probably most of you.  I've known some of you for a lot of my life,  and some of you I don't know at all.  Thank you for coming to this blog, reading and supporting me.  I hope I have helped you in some small way, as Heather helped me, even if it's for a smile or a laugh that you needed that day.  I started this blog mostly for me, but have found that when I get a compliment in the comments or in person, I feel like I did when I used to perform.  It's helped give me an identity past just being "mom", even though I write about being a mom.  Irony?  Hmmmm.... Just remember, this is a tough job for anyone, but the benefits are the best you'll ever get.


And lastly, but certainly not the least, in fact the most important -MY mom, Ann.  You know how you always used to say, "just wait until you have your own kids someday!"  Well, here we are.  I get it.  I do.  Trust me, every day I get it more. Some days I shock myself when I hear my voice channeling you.  Even my shout of  "GIIIRRLLSSS!!" reminds me of being a kid.  Funny how history repeats itself.  You taught me everything I know about being a mom, and I have always said and will always say what a great mom you are.   I can only hope I'm doing as good a job.  You have been loving, caring, and supportive.  Yes, we've had our fights through the years, but you never gave up on me.  Even when I did something you vehemently disagreed with.  I thank you for that.  I always found a way out of my mistakes because I had a good guidance from the beginning.  I know the time will eventually come when I will have to let my girls make their own mistakes too.  However, I am going to cherish this time when I can still tell them what to do with a "because I'm the mom and I said so" explanation.  There are things that we still don't see eye to eye on and probably never will, but I hope the one thing we can agree on is what an outstanding job you did as a mom.  You raised three independent, strong, smart women who are doing a not so bad job as mothers themselves.  (If I do say so myself.)  Thank you for always being there whenever we need you, even to fly across the country for a weekend to watch your grand kids.  I love you!  Happy Mother's Day, Mommy.


Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms out there!  Now hand the kids to your husband/partner/babysitter and go do something fun like getting your nails done.  May I recommend the gel nails?





1 comment:

cran said...

That was beautiful. Happy Mother's Day to you too!