tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45975107026079226892024-03-13T11:46:55.886-07:00Pooping in PeaceKristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.comBlogger533125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-4871438647953374702019-11-01T13:59:00.002-07:002019-11-01T14:28:49.954-07:00Listen To Your Heart<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hello everyone! I know I have somewhat abandoned this blog in the last couple years. There are good reasons for that. Partially because life got very crazy with how involved I became volunteering at school and all the girls’ activities. Also partially, as it turns out, teen and pre-teen girls aren’t so keen about you writing funny cute stories about them to share on the internet. So as their mom I had to respect that. Why am I back, you ask? Well this story is less about them and more about just me. About the fact that I am still alive because I listened to my body. Some of you might be learning about this for the first time, but a lot of you already know what happened. However, not everyone knows the whole story, so I thought I’d come on here to tell it so I don’t have to relay it over and over again. I’m getting sick of hearing myself tell it to be honest. Here it is in black and white. Settle in everyone-this one is a doozy, and a tad long. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Around the middle of August, I started to notice my anxiety acting up at odd times. I get anxiety from time to time, but it’s usually hormonal, like right before my period or circumstantial, like whenever I’m traveling. This anxiety was coming from nowhere, for seemingly no reason, and happening often. I thought perhaps it was the girls going back to school, or me trying to get everything done so I could do some substitute teaching. I didn’t know, but I tried to ignore it for the most part. Then around the beginning of September, I was working out at the gym one morning when this weird burning sensation came up either side of my neck. I thought it was odd, but I had to finish my workout dammit! So I did. It got better after about 15 minutes so I thought nothing of it, until the next day when it happened again. Around this time I also started feeling very fatigued all day. This symptom is tricky for moms, however, because show me a mom who isn’t fatigued and I will show you a mom who has three nannies. Moms are tired no matter what. However, this fatigue was different. I would wake up in the morning and feel like I hadn’t slept at all. I would do my workout and then an hour later, feel like I needed a nap. It was weird. For those of you who have been pregnant, it was like the fatigue you felt during the first trimester. I decided after the workout neck pain that I should see a doctor. Something definitely was not right. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For those who are super close to me they know I have a tendency to be a bit of a hypochondriac. Not in a, “I’m in the ER every week” kind of way. More of a, “I have a pain in my head -what if it’s a tumor -oh no the pain is gone now”, kind of way. So when I started to worry that maybe it was my heart, nobody else around me thought it was. With very good reason. I’ve never had high cholesterol or blood pressure, I’m not overweight, I work out six times a week and I eat a mostly healthy diet. Ok fine I like my wine and perhaps I’ve been a social smoker a time or two, but nothing that should land me in the unhealthy category in anyone’s mind. Still, I didn’t feel right.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I googled Cardiologists around me, found one with good reviews and made an appointment for that week. When I went in, they did an EKG, which was normal and a quick check up, took blood, and he had me make an appointment for a stress test for two weeks later. He clearly wasn’t overly concerned, so fine. I wouldn’t be either. Except, I started feeling worse.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I started to have shortness of breath and sometimes chest pains, but mostly pain in my upper back, and was it going to my left arm? I really felt like it was, but maybe it was in my head. Whenever I would exert myself I would feel worse, like my heart was beating too fast for just standing up and walking down my hallway. Then one Saturday night after we had gone out to dinner I was just feeling terrible. I decided to go to Urgent Care. Let me just tell everyone now-if you think it’s your heart do NOT go to Urgent Care. I will spare you the details of that visit, but let’s just say the asshat of a doctor I saw just about patted me on the head with a, “there there crazy woman-you’re fine”, comment. It’s not exactly what he did, but it was damn close. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now I had seen two doctors who didn’t seem overly concerned, yet here I was feeling shittier than I ever had in my life. I kept thinking maybe I was getting a cold or a flu. Then I started to having lower jaw pain. Then I did the thing everyone tells you not to do. I looked it up on Web MD. EVERY symptom I was having pointed to heart failure in some way. Either I was having a heart attack or I was about to. Then again, when I used Web MD in the past I’d had about 4 different kind of cancers according to them, so it probably wasn’t right. I mean how on earth could I, as a 45 year old fit woman, have a heart problem??</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I held on for a couple more days, feeling kinda crappy. Then I’d feel better and think it as going away, but the next day would be worse. On Monday, September 9th, we had tickets to the Hollywood Bowl to see Heart and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts was opening for them. Just to throw a little irony into my story, we see not one but two bands with heart in their name. It was at the Hollywood Bowl, which is a very hilly walk. Even walking up the very slightly inclined hills was making me feel short of breath. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The following day I started having a weird pain in my calf. It was at this point that I texted Megan-my nurse practitioner sister-to ask her what I should do. Over the years she’s heard of my worries about this pain or that ache and mostly she has told me I’m fine. This time after hearing all of my symptoms she said-</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Go to the ER. Go now.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Yeah. So I went. Despite the fact that all I kept thinking was missing taking Georgia to her improv class and the PTA meeting I was supposed to be going to that night. When my sister said go to the ER she meant it, so I guess everything else had to be put on hold. The fear was that I might have a blood clot-hence all my symptoms and the pain in my leg. That made sense. Kind of. I mean it made more sense than me having a heart problem, right? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Nope. No clot. I spent 5 hours at the ER where they did blood tests, EKGs, chest x-rays and a leg ultrasound. Everything came back normal and perfectly healthy. Nothing to see here! Move along. However the ER doctor was great. He told me that he was going to send me home because he was pretty sure I was ok. He said- “I’m 98% certain you are fine, but I never say 100% because you know I was 100% certain Hillary would win”, and I said “Yeah and look how that turned out.” He said-“Don’t even get me started!” Little did he know that I would end up being Hillary in this case. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Then he told me I definitely needed the stress test and to move it up. He also told me to not work out until the stress test, which in all honestly probably saved my life. Thank you ER doctor!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So I went home, kinda feeling silly because they didn’t find anything, but still feeling like they should have. Something was wrong. I couldn’t shake it. That weekend I felt on and off terrible again. Shortness of breath, back pain, some chest pain, left shoulder and arm pain, jaw pain, rapid heartbeat after meals, just bad all around. I mean I wasn’t even having wine at this point so you know it was bad!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Monday came and I went for my stress test. While the nurse was getting me set up, he asked about my symptoms and history. He stopped short when I told him about my maternal grandfather who had a heart attack at 49, also with no history of high cholesterol or blood pressure and in good shape. Although, he did smoke a lot of cigarettes for a while, but that was the 50s and 60s. They all did. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For those of you who don’t know, a stress test isn’t about seeing how stressed you are, but about how much stress your heart can take. They hook you up to an EKG and have you walk/run on a treadmill until you get to your target heart rate to see what happens. This test I failed miserably. On the one hand I was thinking-oh crap. On the other hand I was thinking-SEE something IS wrong-but still- oh crap. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I met with the Cardiologist that afternoon and he scheduled me for an angiogram for Thursday morning. What is an angiogram? you might ask-because I did. I mean unless you’ve had a parent go through this, how many of us 40 something moms know about this procedure? They make a small incision in your groin and send a catheter through your arteries. Then they shoot dye in them to see if there are any blockages in the arteries. It’s an outpatient procedure and at most I would have to stay in the hospital one night depending on what they find. I’m fairly certain nobody thought they would find anything. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I went home and that night I had a lot of pain in my back radiating to my left shoulder and down my arm. I just had to make it to Thursday. I’d be fine. Tuesday morning I woke up feeling worse than ever. Besides all the symptoms I’d been having, I was feeling a little light headed and dizzy. I managed to make it to send the girls off to school. Andy came home from dropping off Sonya and saw me sitting on the couch. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Are you ok?” He asked.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Uuuummm….I’m not sure,” I said.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Do you want to go to the ER?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I answered, “Let me sit here a minute and see how I feel.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">He said ok and to let him know and headed to the bedroom to get ready for work. I sat there on the couch contemplating. I felt so very off. Something was very wrong, some would even say I felt a sense of doom, but it was Tuesday again and one of my biggest days of driving the girls around everywhere after school. Then this voice in my head said ‘and if you’re dead you will never be able to drive them anywhere again’. I listened to that voice and had Andy take me to the ER. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Fun fact about getting in quickly at the ER-tell them you’ve had a recent positive stress test and are currently having chest and back pains with shortness of breath. I had a bed in the ER in about 5 minutes. They gave me baby aspirin and nitro paste to open up my arteries in case of an impending heart attack. After doing a few tests and talking to my doctor they decided to admit me in hopes of moving up my angiogram. However, I once again seemed fine. EKG’s were good, bloodwork, x-rays- all of it. They weren’t able to do the angiogram that day so I had to stay in the hospital overnight and they were going to work on getting me in for one the next day. Just an FYI for all of you. Turns out that unless you are in the middle of or have recently had a heart attack, the EKG shows nothing. If you had a normal EKG, don’t assume all is fine. It will not tell you if you are about to have a heart attack. File this under: things I’ve learned in the last month.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Andy brought the girls to see me. Sonya doesn’t do well with hospitals to begin with and Georgia has always been very emotional, so they pretty much cried the whole visit with me. Upon seeing that I looked fine, Lana was unfazed and asked if they could go home soon, because she was tired and wanted to go to bed. Love you too Lana! Actually, no that’s just how she deals with things. She tends to push it down and let it all come out at a later date. I will say in that moment I was appreciative that she wasn’t upset since the other two were close to hysterical. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> That night after they left I had a breakdown myself. What has going on with me? What if they did the angiogram and they found something? What if they found nothing? I wasn’t sure what would be worse in that moment. I needed to be here for my girls. I wasn’t ready to leave this planet and leave them without a mom. I was scared. Plain and simple. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The next day the nurse practitioner told me they were going to be able to do the procedure that afternoon. So if all went well I might be able to leave the next day. That was good, because I was chairing the family picnic at the middle school on Friday and who was gonna take care of everything? Yeah, luckily I have a huge group of fantastic friends who took that off my plate as soon as I went into the hospital, and they wouldn’t let me have anything to do with it. I still wanted to be there though. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Andy came into the hospital to see me after the girls had gone to school. My procedure wasn’t until 2 and since the day before he had spent most of the day at the hospital, I told him to go to work and take care of what he needed to and be back by 2. There wasn’t really anything for him to do until then. Plus my friend Elisa stopped by to keep me company for a couple hours. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They came a little before 2 to take me for the procedure. I was a bit on the scared side, but they do these things all the time so I was talking myself into everything being fine. This is a procedure they keep you awake for, very drugged, but awake. When they first went in with the catheter I felt some pain, but they assured me it was fine and continued. I was kind of in and out but at one point they made me take 2 pills while I was laying flat. I still have no clue how I managed to get those down without choking. When it was done the doctor said I was all fixed up. They had found a 99% blockage in my main artery. They put a stent in and I was good to go! Let me repeat that for those of you who didn’t read it right the first time. <b>99%</b> BLOCKAGE IN MY MAIN ARTERY. Yeah, I was a bit surprised too. I was just a mere percent away from having a major, most likely fatal, heart attack. It was in the place that’s otherwise known as the, “widowmaker”. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I’d like to tell you that’s where this story ends and I was all good, but alas it is not. That pain I felt when they first went in, was not a normal pain from the procedure after all. They had to put pressure on my groin area to stop any bleeding from the procedure-totally normal-but I had an area that hurt more than I can even begin to describe. There was a lot of back and forth about whether it was fine or not, but eventually they decided not, and I went for CT scans to look for internal bleeding. There was. I was petrified. Internal bleeding is bad as far as I knew and the looks on the faces around me were also a bit worrisome. Not so, “You’ll be fine!” as they had been. There was talk of emergency surgery, but they weren’t sure if they needed to. I was taken to ICU to be monitored and given a blood transfusion-I can check those two things off my bucket list! They eventually decided they needed to give me an angiogram on my other groin to go in and look at the right side to see where the bleeding was and if surgery was necessary. So, back to the procedure room I went. The pain was awful, but they were giving me morphine, so that was a plus. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This angiogram went off without a hitch, this time, and good news! The bleeding had stopped so no surgery required. I was relieved about that. The last thing I wanted was to be opened up after being so close to death with a near heart attack. I was beginning to feel like a character in a Final Destination movie. What would happen next? Flesh eating bacteria? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">That night was probably one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life. I had to lay flat on my back and not bend my legs. They had this device that they had on my groin that was keeping pressure on it to make sure I didn’t start bleeding again. I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink in 24 hours, but they had me on IV fluids. They wanted to make sure nothing else happened before I was allowed to have anything. Andy spent the night with me in the hospital and our amazing neighbor slept over at the house with the girls. I was in a lot of pain and didn’t sleep much. The good news is I was alive, so I was okay with the pain. Neither Andy or I got much sleep that night. I was just in so much pain and discomfort, even with my friend Morphine. Andy got to sleep in a recliner chair, so fun times for all! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The next day I was feeling much better after I was able to eat something, even if it was hospital food-the stories you’ve heard are all true about the food by the way. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was able to move my legs, but they still wanted me to stay on bed rest for the day, so I got a fun compression gadget that periodically squeezed my calves to prevent blood clots. Andy brought the girls to see me that night, since the night before I was in no shape for them to see me. Georgia and Sonya cried again. I guess being in ICU did NOT help them feel better. Who knew? Lana just wanted to know if I would be at the middle school picnic the next day. I told her I probably wouldn’t be allowed to go home until Saturday. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Can’t you just come for ten minutes?” She asked.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sure-let me see if the hospital gives out afternoon passes for patients who had internal bleeding the day before to go to a middle school picnic. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Well, I knew she wanted me there, so I guess there was no harm in her asking.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My parents decided to fly out to help after the internal bleeding incident. My mom was slightly freaked out to say the least. It was for the best, so that they could help out at home, if needed, and also they could see that I was indeed still alive. They got here Friday around noon and headed straight to see me. The good news was they could go to the middle school picnic in my place, so that helped Lana a bit. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I continued to feel better and was able to move around on Friday. They wanted to move me from the ICU, but that didn’t happen until Friday night because of the lack of space. On Saturday, they decided I was well enough to go home. I was thrilled because I was so very done with the hospital. The nurses were amazing, like I said, the food was not. I did have people visit me every day and I caught up on a lot of good Netflix and Hulu, but I just wanted to be home with my family. The girls would Facetime me several times a day and Georgia would cry every time. I needed to be home. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I finally got out late afternoon on Saturday. As it turns out, it takes forever to have three different doctors sign off on you getting out. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When I got home, the girls had made me a sign, my parents bought me balloons, Andy gave me a cad and there were flowers, food, and gift baskets from so many people. This is the part that totally threw me. The night I went into ICU I had all of my close friends show up to see me. My people that I’ve known since college, Melinda, Melissa, Sooz, Norb, Cecelia and Jon. Then my two best mom friends, Elisa and Libby came later. My besties, my village. I mean I know I have friends, I’m a social person and I try to treat everyone I know kindly and with respect. When others go through a hard time I do what I can to help them. I’ve made a meal or two and picked up friend’s kids and transported them, when someone needed help. However, I was not prepared for the fact that when you put out love into the world like that, it really does come back to you in spades. I had people calling, texting, messaging me on Facebook. There was a meal train started, and people offering to drive my girls to wherever they needed to be, if Andy needed to be with me. I had visitor after visitor at the hospital, flowers were sent and someone bought drinks and snacks from Costco and dropped them off to my house. I still don’t know who did that. When I got home I was completely overwhelmed by just how much people wanted to do for me. I guess they liked me. They really really liked me. I was extremely grateful and felt so fortunate that I have such a huge village of people who would step up to help out me and my family. It still overwhelms me when I think about it. Anyway- I digress.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was home for a couple days, taking my new medication-four pills daily now! I didn’t have a lot of energy, but that was to be expected. All of this was because of the internal bleeding. As far as my heart was concerned I was all good there, but the hematoma was going to take some time to heal, about four to six weeks. Plus it was a lovely shade of purple! I was doing a lot of sitting around and resting, but at least it was at home and my mom was there to cook and clean every closet and cabinet in my house, so I decided to relax. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It would be nice if I could tell you that was the end, but yet again, no. Monday I started feeling very off again. I calmly told my parents I needed to go back to the ER and they obliged. It was crowded in there, but they took me back to check me out on the EKG and get an x-ray, all the greatest hits. The concern maybe something was wrong with the stent. I will cut to the chase here. There wasn’t. I actually started developing a fever in the ER and they admitted me. They thought I could have an infection of some sort, so I got to spend another two fun-filled days in the hospital again while they did ALL the tests on me. In the end they couldn’t find an infection and the only way they could explain the fever was that when the blood from the hematoma starts going back into the system, it can sometimes cause a fever. Lucky me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I finally went home for good on Wednesday morning. Every day I felt a little better, but I would still get some pain in my back. I learned that can happen as your body is getting used to the stent. I guess it is a foreign object in there so it makes sense. However, the overall fact was I was freaked out. Every little pain or twinge made me nervous. I kept replaying things in my head from the week before I had the procedure. I was so close to having a heart attack that anything I could have done, could have pushed me to one. Even now I have thoughts, about it. Like what if I was working out when everyone had left for the day and it happened. It would have been the girls who would have found me. I man I try not to dwell on it too much, but damn those thoughts creep up on me. It’s so hard to try and work through. Not to mention the fact that this even happened to me at all. WHY? I’m relatively young in the heart world. The cardiac floor in the hospital had 89 year olds at death’s door. I was the youngest on that floor by far that week. I work out, I eat well. It just doesn’t make sense. I am seeing a new doctor now who is trying to make sense of it, so we will see what he comes up with. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There is another, kinda weird, sorta supernatural or maybe it was in my head piece to this. The time 11:11. For the month and a half that all of this was happening to me, I saw the time 11:11 every day, usually twice a day, on a digital clock. I looked on line and there are different thoughts about seeing the time. Some suggest it’s good luck, but there are many things that say that a deceased loved one is sending a message. I don’t know if I believe it, but my paternal grandfather did pass away last year, and I was close with him for the last 20 years. His birthday was the day before mine, so I always felt we had a special bond. Perhaps he was trying to tell me something was wrong. Or my sister, Megan suggested maybe it was the time I was supposed to die. Thanks for the morbid take, Meg! Either way, it’s kinda weird and since I’ve been better I see it much less than I did. Who knows? I just wanted to mention it because I will say every time I did see the time I felt like someone was trying to tell me something. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The bottom line to this entire story is, don’t ignore warning signs your body is giving you. Mine were very loud and clear. I’m glad I took them seriously and didn’t let all the doctors who thought nothing was wrong with me be what killed me. I took my life in my own hands and pushed until they did find the problem and fixed it. Without me being my own advocate, I would not be here today. If you have family history, get checked regularly and early. Even if you think it’s too early, it may not be. I would have never gone to a cardiologist if this hadn’t happened to me. Both of my sisters are now getting check out and guess what, because of what happened to me, they are being taken seriously. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I also have to take a moment here to thank my village. Without them this would have been much harder. All the teachers at the girls’ old elementary school, the teachers at the middle school and my neighbors, Kelly and Jon, Victor and Maritza, Kelby and Ryan. Kelby was especially helpful because she is a nurse in the hospital I stayed in, so she made sure I was getting top notch treatment. Thank you to all the fabulous nurses a St. Joe’s, and the doctors who saved my life. Thank you to Melinda who visited me every day in the hospital and brought me contraband food. Thank you to Norb, Cecelia, Jon and Sooz for coming to see me and always being great friends. Thank you Melissa for making the trek to come see me, the flowers and being my bestie for 25 years. This was NOT what, “we’re almost 45”, was supposed to mean. Thank you to Ann for the visits, the necklace and reminding me to take time to relax with meditation. Thanks to my family who lives in SoCal who came to the hospital-my cousins, Michelle, Lilly, and Lisa and my Uncle Stan and his new wife Grace. Thank you to my amazing mom friends, Elisa, who jumped in to help with anything, Libby, Lesli, Talia, Lisa and David, Dawn and Frankie, Michelle and Sean, Richard and all the PTA peeps who visited me, cooked for my family and helped pull off the picnic I was supposed to be in charge of. You are all amazing. Thank you to my sisters, Beth who called me constantly to check on me and talk to me, and Megan who kept everyone informed in laymen’s terms what was happening with me. Having a medical professional in the family is very fortunate. I highly suggest it. I love you both and am glad I’m still here so we can have our bitch sessions about what’s going on in our lives. Thank you to my parent in-laws who also offered to come out when this happened, also called me to check up on me, and for the Amazon gift card. Also to my brother and sister in law who called and texted. Thank you to my fantastic parents who flew all the way from Virginia, on very short notice, to help me and my family get through all of this. Not to mention the cleaning of my garage, my car, my kitchen and my hall cabinets. My mom cleans when she’s nervous if you couldn’t tell. I love you. Thank you to my girls, Sonya, Lana and Georgia, for trying not to fight the first few days I was home, and for helping out when I asked. You are also a big reason I am still here, because I will do anything I can to fight for my life and be here for you in yours. I love you three more than you will ever know. I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of this last month. Lastly, thank you to my husband and partner, Andy. I know at first you didn’t think there was anything wrong, but you listened to me that day I said I needed to go to the ER with no questions asked. Thank you for taking me and being there with me through all of this. Thank you for sleeping on the crappy chair and being there for our girls. I know this had to be just as scary for you, maybe even more. If something would have happened to me, you would have been the one left with the fallout and raising the girls alone. I’m sorry for what you had to go through too. I love you. I promise to try and not do it again. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For anyone I might have missed, please know I appreciate everything you all did and I can’t tell you how lucky I feel to be so loved. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I THINK that’s it. I guess I learned a lot from this little detour in my life. First and foremost-always always listen to your body, and don’t discount signs like 11:11. Just saying. Secondly-put love out in the world, it will come back to you in greater ways than you imagined and when you least expect it. Thirdly-and this is a big one-don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Just because you are here today doesn’t mean you will be tomorrow. Tell those people you love them, take that vacation, visit your family, make plans to go out with friends, spend time with your kids. Whatever you are on the fence about, do it. Whatever you haven’t made time for, make it. You might not get a second chance like I did. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">****Just a side note-I am an open book about this, if you couldn’t tell. If you want to ask me a question about this, please feel free. If my story can help save another life, I’m all for it! You can email me at buta86@hotmail.com</span></span></div>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-3553867469141786482017-07-07T19:49:00.002-07:002017-07-07T19:50:46.645-07:00Doing What I Never Thought I Would<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hello all! Yes, I am well aware that it has been over a year since I wrote anything. I don't like it, but there are many factors that have kept me from writing. Or rather having the time to write. Part of the reason it is getting harder for me to write is because I have growing children who are finding out more about this Internet thing, and that they might be a part of a few stories on here. Or maybe all of them. Semantics. Fine and cute when they were younger but not when they are almost in 8th grade, MOM! So I feel I do have to respect some of their privacy. I guess. However the bigger reason I haven't been on here has been time, and not having enough of it. Not that any of us do, but this past year my life turned into crazy town. The reason for that is because I did something I said I would NEVER do-I really should stop saying never-I became PTA president.<br />
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Now I know some of you just had a flash of Christina Applegate as PTA president in Bad Moms, but I can assure I am more of the Mila Kunis character. This was not something I wanted or lobbied for in any way. In fact, I must have told the nomination committee last year "NO" almost a dozen times. Then they wore me down, but not after convincing two of my good PTA friends to do it with me. They had also been approached and told the committee no, but when the three of us started talking about working together, we figured it could work. Matt is my PTA husband and he agreed to co-President with me to share duties, and my friend Libby we roped in to being our VP. Then we found out unfortunately that you can't have "co-Presidents", so on paper I am the President. Yay. <br />
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So what's it like to be PTA President of an Elementary school-you ask. Well, you know when you were in college and you took that internship, worked your ass off, worked ridiculous hours and didn't get a dime for it because you were getting "work experience"? Yeah, like that, except 20 years later and with kids. I pretty much work a part time job with no pay. Here's the thing though-I kinda liked it. Shhhh...don't tell anyone!<br />
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Yeah I know I'm a little crazy, but you all knew that already. And believe me-I didn't like it all the time. There were times throughout the year when we were about to have our next big event-Halloween Hulabaloo, Variety Show, Spring Event-where everything at school and my life were being boiled into one big mess of insanity. I may have walked the line of a nervous breakdown a time or two, but managed to come out on the other side with most of my sanity intact. <br />
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I've been involved in school since Sonya was in kindergarten, but just not all the way. I still had the little two at home, so I would attend all the school events and help by baking for the bake sale. When I had grandparents in town I would volunteer in the class. Then as they all went to school, I went to school more. I mean-why not? I don't work and as much as I think I want to sit around and eat bon bons while watching soaps all day, I am so NOT a good sit around and do nothing all day person. Plus there are only about three soaps left on TV these days anyway. So I continued to volunteer for this position or that position. I helped out at events and continued to do things in the classroom. I became good friends with the teachers and the PTA parents so much so that when they needed a new president, they turned to me. I guess it's flattering they thought of me, but I know it was also a matter of necessity. The people who had been around and in charge for so long were all leaving. And I mean just about all of them. There were only a handful of us left who knew anything about how to run this organization, so we agreed to take over. Little did we know what we were getting ourselves into. <br />
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Because so many parents left last year, those of us who did take over were a little lost for a few months. Or completely lost for most of the year. I guess either statement could be correct. The people before us who had been treasurers-and I use that term loosely-either had no idea what they were doing or just didn't give a shit. Perhaps a bit of both. I did not know this when I took over and asked my friend Christina to be my treasurer. (Sorry again, Christina!) Looking back now, the best thing I did as President last year was ask Christina to be our treasurer. It took her ALL YEAR-and I am so not exaggerating about that-to clean up the mess that was left for us. I couldn't even go into detail about all the problems we had, because I didn't even understand half of them. Numbers are not my thing, but they are hers. She was my superhero. She managed to untangle the mess that was made over at least 3 years and fix it so it's all pretty and neat now. We have real working correct numbers. Not-"maybe we have this much" or "maybe we spent that much". She filed our taxes and made sure our audit was correct. I honestly can't sing her praises enough. I would have failed without her. So part of the moral to this story is make sure you have a good money person in your life for anything! <br />
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Besides the money, we were down in volunteers- period. I don't know if it's the ebb and flow with things like this, or because we had so many volunteer parents that left, or if people just don't give a shit anymore. However, my goal was to try and be as welcoming as possible to encourage new parents to help. I think for the most part we did a decent job of getting more people involved. It's hard because people have such a stigma about PTA. Kind of the similar stigma mini vans have. They are the same. Once you get involved or you buy into it, you are hooked. Plus there were the couple margarita parties I threw at my house complete with bounce house for everyone's kids. Margaritas help people to say yes to chairing a position, while still having fun! (Although I should point out that these parties were MY parties, and not PTA sponsored parties in any way. They just happened to have all my PTA friends there.) I love my PTA family. They are friends I know I will have forever. People like Matt, Libby, Christina and Elisa who I run the Variety Show with every year, these are not just PTA people I see at school. They have been there for me when I have needed someone in a pinch to watch my girls or pick them up or just to bitch to. In turn I am always there for them. They have become some of my best friends. Maybe other PTAs are different, but we try our best to include whoever wants to be included and not ostracize those who don't. Although it would be nice if everyone just gave one hour of their time to an event now and then. I'm just saying. <br />
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So am I doing this again next year? Yup. I am. Again-there's that I'm crazy thing. I've had several people ask why I'm doing this again. Here's the deal. I've just cleaned everything up-so why am I going to hand it over to someone else? No, I want a chance to run this thing right for at least a year. I have 2 more years in elementary before I move on for good and I plan to make sure it stays nice and neat for at least that long. I have so many people now who are behind me wanting the same thing now. People who are excited and want to do this PTA thing. Two moms-Dawn and Frankie shout out to them!-who have been amazing and will be there long after I will. Not to mention awesome dad, Justin-who has brought so many of these new parents in and jumps in to help out with anything and everything. So yeah. I'd say I'm at least doing better than Trump. Although, I guess that's not really saying much these days, so perhaps that's a bad comparison. <br />
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Here's my takeaway for all of you who are parents out there. If you are involved in your kids' schools now, continue your support. If you're not, consider it. Even if you are a full time working parent. All the people I have mentioned in this post are full time working parents still willing to put the time in to make their kids school experience a great one. I'm not saying take on the role of President, yet. Offer to run a bake sale or at least work it for an hour. Find a friend and pick a position to chair or hell-just go to a PTA meeting. You might find that you like it too, or at least like the people. Even if you think that the PTA is just a bunch of cranky moms. Chances are they are that way because they feel alone and overworked and like if they don't do it nobody else will. Believe me, it's a sucky feeling. So be the one to reach out to them. Not to mention the fact that your kids see how involved you are, and it makes them more willing to be involved in school and keep their head in the game, so to speak. My girls love that I am there, and they do like to mention that I'm the President to their friends. Not that their friends care, but still. Now perhaps this wouldn't fly as well in middle school or high school but they still like me right now and think I'm cool for the most part. I'm hoping that will carry me for a while. Once they get to middle school it's a whole different ball game. One that is harder to navigate, so get in on the ground floor. I promise it is not something you will ever regret. So here's to one more year of my Presidency and hoping that it's slightly easier this time around. After all-I know what I'm doing now. I think. </div>
Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-84812316829548091862016-07-21T16:22:00.003-07:002016-07-21T16:22:49.979-07:00Georgia's Turn<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif;">Hello everyone! I am indeed still among the living. I just have a crazy schedule that does not allow much time for writing these days, but I feel like I need to. At least I have to tell the story of Georgia in the </span><i style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif;">Jungle Book</i><span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif;"> play at school. I wrote about Sonya and Lana's experiences, so it would be unfair of me to not talk about little GG. Plus then, when she gets older, I'll never hear the end of it about how she, as the youngest child, always got the shit end of the stick. Less writing in the baby book, less pictures of her, blah, blah. It's a song my little sister Megan likes to sing sometimes. Well, I'm here to make sure that doesn't happen to G! At least in talking about her part in the 2nd grade play. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For those of you who have been with me a while, you might remember reading about <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2012/05/star-is-born.html">Sonya's </a>experience with this and then <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2015/04/following-in-her-sisters-footsteps.html">Lana</a>, who ended up with the same part Sonya had when she was in 2nd grade. This is one of the things I love about my girls all growing up in the same place. I moved around so much when I was a kid and my sisters never had the chance to have the favorite teacher I did or get the same part in the play. We didn't have similar experiences to compare. Which is fine, I swear I'm not harboring a grudge-well maybe a tiny one- however I like that my girls can share and compare their similar childhood experiences. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Now unlike Sonya, who was petrified to get on stage, Georgia is my ham. She is the one who longs to be in the spotlight and have everyone looking at her-as long as they are supposed to be looking at her. When they started discussing the <i>Jungle Book </i>at school in January, Georgia was dying to play the part of King Louie. I honestly have no idea why she wanted to be him, but that was who she had her heart set on. Then she came home in tears one day because she wasn't going to get the chance to try out for King Louie. They were organizing it a bit differently this year and each 2nd grade class had a group of animals they could try out for. Her class was not the monkeys. Her class was Kaa the snake and she had no desire to be one of 10 kids as Kaa the snake. She could, however, try out for one of the four main parts-Mowgli, Shere Kahn, Bagheera, or Baloo the bear. Once she heard about this option, all her cards were on the table to go for Baloo. I thought this was a perfect choice for her since Baloo is more of the comedic relief of the play, and Georgia is the comedic relief in our family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sidestory-We were talking at dinner one night about how the girls wanted to see the new Ghostbusters movie. I told them they could, but that they had to watch the original one first. Sonya and Lana decided they would be too scared. Georgia said that was fine, she wanted to watch it. Then she said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"But I might end up in your bed in the middle of the night....Consequences!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Consequences indeed. Damn that kid makes me laugh. Anyway-Baloo.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">They auditioned in their class for the teacher. Then their teacher picked two kids to move on to audition with the other Baloo, and main part hopefuls in the other classes. (You're going to Hollywood!) Her teacher kept telling me how great she was for the part, but they had to see the other kids first before they could decide. Of course none were as good as Georgia, not to brag, but yet to brag, and she got the part. Little GG was going to play the part of Big Bear Baloo!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Over the next month and a half, they rehearsed the play at school. I kept hearing from all the 2nd grade teachers how great she was doing and how cute she was. We worked on her lines at home and I could see how into this she was. Her only problem was running the lines too quickly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">She was so nervous the night before and the morning of the performance. We could barely talk to her without her getting mad or bursting into tears. She was jumpy! I was just praying she wasn't going to get a migraine. Don't worry-she didn't. This isn't one of those stories, but I was sweating it. She hadn't had one since December and she was due. Thankfully it happened two weeks AFTER this. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The school held two performances and we went to both. I even took Sonya out of school for a bit one day, so she could come watch her sister. I was nervous for her, but she remembered every line and played the part adorably well. People I didn't know came up to me afterward to tell me how cute she was. She really was. She is easily one of the smallest kids in her class-as all of my girls are, they come by it naturally-and here she was playing the part of what was supposed to be a big bear. I was so proud of the great job she did and of course cried at the beginning of both performances. I am such a sap! The best part is she loved every minute of it. She loved the acting and getting the laughs and she loved the spotlight. I guess something else she comes by naturally. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It's been so crazy to watch each of my girls do this play and each in a different way. Even though Sonya and Lana had the same part they certainly didn't play it the same way. Then having Georgia play a main part brought it to a different level. I'm so glad they go to a school that will do things like this for the kids. There was talk of it not happening this year, and I would have been heartbroken if it didn't. I feel like things came full circle while watching Georgia up there, after having seen it two times before with the other two. Not to mention that this really sparked something in her. I would guess she is going to look for more opportunities like this to shine. She enjoyed herself so much from beginning to end. I think the craziest part of all this for me though is to realize that they have now all been through 2nd grade. This is it. We are on to the END of elementary school. I just can't even think about it half the time. I will miss all the littleness and cuteness of all this...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">On the plus side-I am anxious to see what they will choose to focus on in their lives and if something like this play really will spark something in Georgia. I love watching their lives unfold and seeing what kind of people they will become. I will NOT love the attitudes that are about to explode in my house over the next eight years though. Especially if this acting bug kicks in. The drama that will follow! Oh Lawdy! Pray for me people! </span></div>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-3796154894967281122016-03-04T12:37:00.001-08:002016-03-04T12:37:49.282-08:00A Superbowl Challenge<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are times as a mom when you realize that you can do superhuman things. Like lifting a car off your child trapped underneath, or grabbing them before they get hit by a truck in the street, or changing a full set of sheets under a sleeping child. Yup. I did that last one. Just call me Supermom!</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A few weeks ago we had that big game that some refer to as the Superbowl. Perhaps you've seen it? Well some years we've had parties, some years we've gone to parties. This year we didn't really care so much about who was playing, but it's still nice to have a couple people over and eat unhealthy, but yummy food, while having an excuse to start drinking at 2pm. Also why I love Thanksgiving. We weren't going to have anyone over, but decided last minute that eating unhealthy food and drinking alone (mostly me) would be sad. So we invited a couple of our friends who had been around for the Patriots playoff games with us the weeks before. Yes, we are Patriots fans and I love Tom Brady. Do not judge or start making cheating jokes because I'm very over it. Anyway-our friends brought over a ton of food and I made a few things, as I always do, because I come from an Italian family. There is never such a thing as too much food. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We had too much food. I mean it was ridiculous how much food we had. We could have had half the Patriots at our house and still have enough to inflate all the balls with food. (See- I can make fun of us too). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In regular every day life, we do a good job with balancing out what the girls eat. I make sure they have fruits and/or a veggie with every meal, lean protein, some good carbs. Yes, we have desserts sometimes, and maybe baked chips or pirates booty, but when I look around at what other people feed their kids on a regular basis, I am so proud of the job I do with them. I know we are teaching them the right way to stay healthy and, hopefully, not become overweight in their future. HOWEVER-I will let them eat whatever they want on special occasions, such as the Superbowl.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On days like that they will go all out, but for the most part they will only eat until they are full. They will still select some carrot sticks amongst their mounds of tortilla chips and mini hot dogs, so at least something good is getting in there. I ignore the fact that said carrots are covered in ranch. At least there is a veggie there somewhere. I will cut them off after two desserts. Although Sonya will try for that third cookie or cupcake. So, yes, it's not the best day of eating but it's one day. They will usually complain about stomach aches afterward too, so it's kinda a good lesson as well. Well maybe not, because after 42 years, I end up complaining of the same thing at the end of the night. I also love eating a lot of unhealthy food at once. I guess when you eat well all the time it's fun to be bad for a minute.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sonya and Lana do know when to stop eating. Georgia, on the other hand, is a different story. That girl loves her some chips. If there is a bowl of chips somewhere, she will find it and eat the entire bowl if I let her. In fact-funny side story-Last weekend we went to Big Bear to go skiing. The place we rented had a big game room complete with pool table, bar, poker table, etc. I was behind the bar and said, "Oh they even have poker chips." Georgia's ears perked up upon hearing this and said, "Where at the chips?" I didn't even think about it, and pointed her in the direction when Andy knowing what she was looking for said, "Everything isn't always about eating Georgia." When I saw the look of disappointment on her face as she saw the poker chips, I realized that she thought I had been talking about some kind of potato chip. Oh Georgia! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Back to my original story! As I was cleaning up after everyone left, I saw Georgia at the counter shoveling more tortilla chips into her mouth. I told her that was enough and shooed her away to go get ready for bed. I knew she had had plenty to eat that night, and there was no way she could still be hungry, but she couldn't resist. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(WAIT! Before I go any further with this story, I'm giving fair warning to all you stomach squeamish people who might be eating. Either don't read this now, or don't eat right now. Trust me.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The girls got ready and went to bed, and I was just about to go tuck them in when Sonya ran into the kitchen in a panic. "Georgia is throwing up!!" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Wait what? She was perfectly fine 10 minutes ago, downing what might have been her 10th helping of chips....Oooohhh. Yeah. Maybe too MANY chips. Huh. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I calmly asked Sonya to go get me the throw up bucket from the garage and went to the little girls room where Georgia was throwing up into a puddle on her bed. Yeah, I know. It gets more gross, so just wait. Sonya came running in with the bucket just in time for Georgia to spit the very last of her puke in it. So that did no good. Then I noticed it. Did I mention Georgia was on the top bunk? Sure there was a nice neat puddle of puke on her sheets in front of her, but before she decided to throw up there she decided to first go over the side of the bunk bed. Which hit Lana's bottom bunk below her, and the trundle bed under Lana's below that, and the floor. It was spectacular. I also noticed Lana was completely passed out. It was 9:30, but she had only been in bed about three minutes which I thought was odd. However, it makes sense looking back now, because the next afternoon she came down with Influenza A. It must have been brewing. Never a dull moment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The point is there was a lot of puke in many different places to clean up, and I needed to figure out where to start. So I called in reinforcements. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Andy! Get in here!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He came running into the room and knew what the situation was from the smell that hit him in the face. I told you there was more gross coming. Oh the smell. It's not bad enough that vomit has to look gross, but the smell is just not something you can get away from right way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I need you to help me clean this up, " I told him. Needless to say, he was thrilled. Normally, I would have just taken care of a situation like this, but this time I needed help. So I put him in charge of taking the soiled sheets off Georgia's bed, while I went to work on the side of the bed puke. Andy wasn't sure how to take the sheets off because there was so much of it in one pile. So he came up with the brilliant idea of shoveling it all into a garbage bag first. I'm impressed he got through it without adding to the pile himself. So. Very. Gross. After he took care of that, I had him take care of getting Georgia cleaned up, who as it turned out wasn't so bad. She had managed not to get any on her person, so score one for her in that category. Still, l she needed a face wash and a toothbrush. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There wasn't a lot of throw up over the side of the bed, but enough to make it so I had to change Lana's sheets. Oh and there was the fact that the bunk beds just have a mattress laying on top of wooden slates. So whatever didn't make it on the mattress, fell in between those slates. On both the top AND bottom bunk. Have I ever mentioned how much a pain in the ass bunk beds are for SO many reasons? Sure they save space, but that's the end of their good side. Making them sucks. Changing the sheets takes days and will break every nail you have, but unfortunately they are very necessary in our small house. So after I cleaned under Georgia's mattress and the wooden slates, I had to figure out what to do about a sleeping Lana and her dirty sheets. Do I wake her, move her, or try and just change the sheets around her? I decided to do that last one, since it sounded the most challenging. Because I mean changing sheets on a bunk bed is difficult enough. But doing it with a sleeping child on top-near impossible. Challenge accepted!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The taking off the sheets wasn't too difficult. That was just a lot of pulling from underneath her. No biggie. It was getting the new ones on that proved to be more of a challenge. Let's keep in mind that I had to replace the mattress cover as well, So not one but TWO bottoms sheets. Oh, and I had to lift up the side of her mattress first to clean down those wooden slates, where the puke was stuck. After I did that I got the two bottom sheets out and I started at the top on one corner, then managed to roll her on top of the sheet and do the other corner. Once I got the top part of the bed done it was easier to pull the sheet down to do the bottom. Especially because Lana is a peanut and only takes up half the bed. The top sheet was a piece of cake since it was just covering her up and tucking under the mattress. When I was done, Lana was still completely asleep and in a new set of sheets. The next morning I asked her about it, and she had no recollection of the entire incident. She wasn't even aware that Georgia had gotten sick. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As for Georgia, she was not ill in any way. I thought perhaps she was at first, since the stomach bug had been circulating at school and gave her the benefit of the doubt, but she was immediately better after she threw up and fine the next day. Andy had said so, but I didn't believe it until the next day, she had simply eaten to much. Or maybe just too many chips. Which you think would stop her, but not at all. That story about the poker chips was just last week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I will continue to do what I can to help reinforce the good eating habits with a fun eating day here and there for them, however, perhaps the next time I do need to monitor how much they are eating a bit more. But hey! At least I discovered what a badass I am at changing sheets with a sleeping kid in them. Okay fine that hardly makes me a badass, but I'm a stay at home mom. Let me have this one. </span></div>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-12905955650418012982016-01-08T10:24:00.000-08:002016-01-08T10:26:32.494-08:00Being Good At Family<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hey there! Yes it's me. I know I totally fell into the pit of being overwhelmed and overburdened with a thousand things to do with school and the holidays, which left me no time to write. I wrote a bunch of blogs in my head, but none of them made it to the computer. Looking forward to the day where I can think something and Suri will write it down for me. I even got a little bah humbuggy at one point because of how crazy everything was. Even though I still have much going on-like helping to produce the Variety Show at the girls' school-I decided to put everything else I <i>should</i> be doing right now on hold (changing sheets, cleaning, getting cat litter) to do the one thing I like to do for me. Writing. So with that here's a little story about a New Year's Eve Day trip we took last week. (Was it really only LAST week.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the holidays we didn't have any family in town which was (sorry parents) kinda nice. I mean don't get me wrong, I love when my parents or Andy's parents come and spend Christmas with us. The kids love them being there and it's nice to have a big family together for the holidays. However, every three years it's also kinda nice to not entertain parents for a week or more. This year was that year. So there was more hanging out and just doing nothing, which is good for us since we are always doing something every damn minute of every damn day. The only bad part about doing nothing for a family who is very active, is that after a while we start to go a little stir crazy. So we decided that on New Year's Eve, during the day, we would drive to the mountains to a sledding park. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of the advantages of living here in Southern California is that we are so close to the mountains to go sledding anytime in the winter if we want. Even though we hadn't had any rain yet last week, the sledding parks all make their own snow. The other great thing was that it was actually cold here this Christmas. In fact while we were in the 50's here on Christmas day my in laws were sweating it out in the 70s in Rhode Island. Crazy! Since it was so cool here it was even colder in the mountains which was perfect for the snow making and sledding. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I found a place on line that is only about an hour from our house, called Mt. Baldy. When we got there we were to purchase tickets to take a "scenic lift" to the top of the mountain where we could do the snow tubing. They also have skiing and snowboarding but we weren't going that crazy for one day. After we bundled up and purchased our tickets we walked up a little hill to the lift. That's when we realized the lift chairs were only for 2 people. Last time I counted there were 5 of us, and three of us are kids. Huh. How was this going to work? I wasn't crazy about the idea of Sonya going by herself, and sending her with one of the girls could prove disastrous. I didn't need a fight to break out on the lift and someone pushed off onto the side of the mountain. No worries though. She wasn't allowed to go alone or with one of the girls unless she was 14. That would have been nice to know BEFORE we bought our tickets. They did let us know she could ride with another adult who was alone and wanted to go up the mountain. Oh yes-let me put my 11 year old on a ski lift with some stranger for 20 minutes who could be a Jared from Subway for all I know! I don't think so. Oh and by the way-it was seven degrees at the top of the mountain. SEVEN!! Now I know there are a lot of your out there who that freezing temperature might not bother so much and probably think we are big pussies. However to those of us who just went through a 55 degree Christmas and were complaining of how cold we were, making fires in our fireplace every night, seven degrees would have killed us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Andy and I made the decision to see what we could do about getting our money back, then figuring out what we could do to salvage the day from there. It was of course greeted with a barrage of questions from the girls who were so looking forward to sledding. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"We're not going?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Not here."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"But why?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Because Sonya can't ride the lift by herself and it's colder up there than it is down here even." They were already freezing in the 32 degree temp. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"So we aren't going to go sledding at ALL??"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I don't know yet. We will figure it out."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"But..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"We will see!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Neither one of us was optimistic about it being easy to get our money back, but turns out it was! They were very nice about it after we explained that we had no idea about the age for the chairlift. So we were happy we didn't lose any money on it, but now what the hell do we do? We had decided to go to this mountain because it was closer than the one in Big Bear. Were we even in the right direction of heading to the other one? Unfortunately, it took us a bit to find out since there was no service on the mountain. Once we got to the bottom I found that the other place I had looked at was less than an hour from where we were. Since we had left the house so early it was only 11am at that point, so we decided to go for it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We arrived at the tubing park about an hour later. No traffic at all thank goodness! This place was right off the side of the road, no lift, and cheaper than the other place. So win win! We went and got our tickets. Georgia and I made a trip to the disgusting outhouses. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Side note here-Why, in the year 2016, have we not figured out a better way to keep an outhouse clean? Those things are the most disgusting places on earth. I am always so grossed out when I go in one. I have been in nicer ones that are brought in for outdoor weddings or other such things, but then they are usually newer and not used at all yet. The ones on the mountains though are just so incredibly gross. I just tell the girls the whole time we are in there, "whatever you do, don't look down." I gag now just thinking about it. Back to the main story...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After we paid and grabbed our tubes, we headed to one of the smaller hills because the girls were a little nervous and wanted to start there. To be honest I was fine starting there too. Sonya and Georgia went down almost immediately raving about how much fun it was and climbed the stairs to go again. Lana though. Well Lana and I spent 10 minutes on that first little hill together. She was nervous to go down, I sat there trying to convince her everyone else was still alive after sledding, and she would be too. I think it was that fact that she had to go on her belly head first that freaked her out. She would start to lay down and then say "No, no, no, I don't want to." Andy claimed I was babying her, but I know how Lana is. She has always been this way. It takes her a minute to try anything new, food, swimming, jumping off the diving board, skiing, sledding, bike riding, roller blading, whatever. She is convinced something bad is going to happen to her. I knew as soon as she did it though she would love it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not sure exactly what it was that made her finally go. At one point I gave up trying to convince her and went down without her to show her it was fine. Not to long after that, she went with me and that was that. There was no stopping her. She loved it as I knew she would. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When we first got there all three of the girls agreed they weren't going near the big hill. Even after Lana had been going down the smaller one, she pointed to the big hill and said, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"There is no way I'm going down that one!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I reminded her that she didn't want to go down the little one at first and look how much fun she was having. So she said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Okay maybe I will at some point but NOT today."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"That's fine," I told her. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At the end of our hour we were all riding down that big hill. And we were all loving it. It is only an hour you pay for at a time. You can go more, but then you pay more. At first I thought-an hour that's it? But trust me, after walking up those stairs a bunch of times you are exhausted and done after your hour. At one point we all went down together which was comedic. I laughed so hard when, at one point, Andy was trying to push us all down the hill together, and Sonya and Georgia accidentally broke free leaving Andy holding on to Georgia's mitten at the top of the hill. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Andy and the girls going down the hill together.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was one of the best family days we've had as a family and a great way to end the year. The girls keep talking about how they want to go back. It was fairly easy too, minus the detour we made to the other mountain an hour away. I was proud of us that we found a way to salvage the day even though we ran into a problem and our original plan didn't work out. It was a good lesson for all of us. Especially for me, because when my plans get thrown off I tend to get anxious. It was one of those days where I thought to myself, "We are good at family!" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">*(credit to that line goes to the show The Goldbergs, which if you aren't watching you should be!)</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Lana</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Georgia, Sonya and Andy</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy 2016 everyone! Hope to write more for you in this year and here's to everyone finding a day where they feel they are good at family too. I know all to well how some days that is so hard to do. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sonya and Georgia</td></tr>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-63924183823541778362015-10-22T10:46:00.000-07:002015-10-22T10:46:51.424-07:00Raising 21st Century Woman<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A couple weeks ago, the little girls were sitting at the counter in the kitchen doing their homework. I was getting dinner ready and helping them when needed. They started chatting to each other about life will be like when they get older and have families and lives of their own.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia- "Remember Lana, when we get big we will take turns working and taking care of our kids."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lana- "Yeah, some days I will go to work and you will stay home with your kids and my kids and some days you will go to work and I will stay home!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia-"Yup!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was surprised to learn that they had worked out such a great solution on their own to what haunts every mother around the world. The pull between wanting to stay home and raise your kids on your own, and wanting to continue to be in the working world to keep your own identity, and because you know, money. They had thought of a job sharing situation all on their own. Not that either one of them know what they want to do for a job, so who knows if it would even lend itself to this scenario, but hey! Good for them for thinking of this. Then Georgia thought of something better. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia- "Wait a minute! Why don't we just make our HUSBANDS stay home and WE will go to work!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lana- "Oh yeah! Let's do that!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Wow. We sure have come a long way in just a couple of generations. From woman doing no work outside the home, to working or staying home, to working and having Dad stay home and having it be a NORMAL situation. I will admit, I have worried from time to time that my staying home with the girls might make them think that they shouldn't work or shouldn't want to work, but I truly believe that everyone needs to do what is right for them. I do feel sometimes I am looked down on for not working at all, but I like being a stay at home mom. I think moms who work are doing what is best for them as well and we should all be tolerant of what others decide to do for their own families. And Dads! My generation has definitely been the first to do this. It's nice to know that my girls' generation will be the first to make it not such a novelty. After listening to their conversation about this, I realized I have done a good job conveying to them that they make whatever decision they want as far as working and family is concerned. We are no longer expected to fit into one mold or another and I think that is a great success for both moms AND dads. </span></div>
Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-85961043481880051472015-09-25T11:55:00.000-07:002015-09-25T11:55:12.617-07:00My Morning Ray of Sunshine<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Getting up in the morning has always been a chore for me. I don't know how I was as a little kid, but I can remember being older and my mom threatening to pour buckets of water on me if I didn't get my ass out of bed. I HATED getting up in the morning. I still do. So I don't know why I find it so hard to believe that my girls are right there with me. Well, not all of them. Lana is most definitely without a doubt the best morning person you've ever seen. Yes, I said Lana. </span><div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">During the week, I aim to get everyone up between 6:30-6:40 depending on when I drag my own ass out of bed. Sonya sets an alarm, hits snooze a couple of times, and I still have to make sure she gets up. She is not fun to get up. She huffs, and whines and buries herself back under the covers. Sometimes Georgia is in her bed with her, because I don't know that I have told you all this but, Georgia does not like to sleep alone in her bed. She always ends up in someone else's bed in the middle of the night. Usually mine and Andy's first, but I move her after I wake up to find myself on two inches of mattress at 4AM with her feet in my face. Since Sonya has a double bed, I usually opt to put her in there. I try to put her back in her own bed, believe me. Sometimes she refuses to go, gets stubborn and at 4AM you tend to give in to what the hell they want so you can just go back to sleep, dammit! Anyway-when she is in Sonya's bed in the morning I have to wake her up at the same time. I usually drag her out of Sonya's bed and carry her to her room where I plop her on the floor. There she stays curled in a ball snoozing for at least another ten minutes. Then I go to the kitchen where every two minutes, I yell for them to get up and get moving while making breakfast. It's an incredibly enjoyable morning routine I assure you. Especially since I myself hate to get up and am always exhausted. If it weren't for the fabulous people who invented coffee, I would never survive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The other day Georgia wrote out her daily morning routine on the whiteboard in her room. I think she was just trying to make it clear how she feels about getting up in the morning, so she added a little something...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For those of you who can't read my daughter's beautiful handwriting she acquired from me, after "wake up" she wrote "gron". Which of course means "groan", but hey she's a 2nd grader, we are still working on the spelling. Either way, she made sure she added into her morning routine a way to let everyone know how unhappy she was to be awake at that time of the morning. Yup, those two are fun times to get going every morning. Usually by Friday they are marginally better have it down, but then that pesky weekend comes and they sleep in throwing everything off on Monday morning. It's a vicious cycle. Yes I know I should have them wake up at the same time on the weekend, but screw that. Andy and I want to sleep in too!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is one spot of sunshine every morning though...Lana. I do not wake Lana up ever. Last year she started getting up on her own. Then she asked for an alarm clock so we go her one for her birthday. What 8 year old asks for an alarm clock as a birthday present? Now she sets it for 6:15 every morning. When it goes off she immediately turns it off. No snooze for her! Then she proceeds to get dressed, make her bed, some mornings she will remember to unload her dishwasher or feed the cat when it's her turn. When I come to their rooms in the morning to wake everyone up, there is Lana sitting on her made bed reading her latest book, with a smile and a cheery, "Good morning, mommy!" I do NOT know where this kid came from! Because as I said, I have never been a morning person, so you would think that perhaps Andy is or was, but no. Some days he groans louder than Georgia when he has to wake up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All I do know is I am so thankful that Lana is the way she is. I suppose if I think about it I have my parents genetics to thank. My parents have always been morning people. My mother especially. She was the type to wake you up with a song. Oh how I hated that song in the morning. She was always so damn cheery. So perhaps the early bird gene got passed on to Lana. (Thanks mom and dad!) I'm glad it did, because if all three of them were super grumpy in the morning, I'm not sure any amount of coffee would get me through that first hour of the day. With Lana's smiling face and happy morning disposition, I can deal with what the other two throw at me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On the plus side, this past week I have been trying to put Georgia back in her bed after she comes to our bed in the middle of the night. Sonya does not like having her in her bed, because of Georgia's starfish style of sleeping. Can't blame the girl I guess. So because she has been in her own bed in the mornings, Lana has decided to get Georgia up with her. It's been like a dream. Both of them up, dressed and in pleasant moods. Only Sonya has been the obstacle. I just need Lana to rub off on her too and we will be all set. Maybe I can even sleep until 7 and have them come wake <i>me</i> up. Then I can be the one to wake up and groan. Oh wait-I do that already. </span></div>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-64002423506464843592015-09-04T12:16:00.000-07:002015-09-04T12:16:56.282-07:00Sonya's New Adventure<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Well here we are three weeks into the school year and I finally have my shit together to sit down and write something. Anything at this point! I always thought that when my girls were all in school I would have all this time to get everything done. Turns out having all my girls in school means that I am in school more too. I help out in the classrooms and chair a few PTA positions, so I end up with almost no time to do other things like writing. However, I decided to forget about everything I'm supposed to be doing right now, to get back to my writing for a minute. Especially because there is so much in my head that I keep thinking about wanting to write about. Today it's about middle school.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes, Sonya started middle school this year. I know some places middle school doesn't start until 7th grade and to be honest that might have been a better transition for us, but since Burbank Unified doesn't care about just my family, we had to go with what has already been in place for years. It was a bit of a rough transition. Well, let me clarify that. It was a bit of a rough anticipation time this summer. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As most of you know, Sonya is already on the young side of her peers. Because her birthday is in November, and because when she started school the cut off date was December 1st, she started Kindergarten at four, turning five in November of that year. It was a decision we struggled with and one which we would not have to think about today if she was going to kindergarten. They moved the cut off date to September here in Burbank now. We felt like we made the right decision at that time, because she was so smart, and academically she has always done well in school. Emotionally, she is sometimes a bit behind. She was sad to leave elementary school in May and this summer we went through some rough patches with her. She was very emotional at times, crying for what appeared to be no reason and just being generally melancholy. Now, I realize this is just a sign of things to come. I remember being 14 and it was not pretty. However I thought I had a least a couple more years of having to deal with this. No such luck.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Some days she had so much attitude toward me I thought she was already 14 and I just missed it. Other days she was her normal sweet little girl self. Then there were the days of just general blahness. I try to keep the girls busy during the summer. They do a couple weeks of camp and we go everywhere from the beach to the museums here. Luckily we live in a place that there is no lack of fun things to do. That did not stop her from getting upset from time to time. The unfortunate part is that she seemed to get more moody once a month when I did. Not sure how our cycles are matching up already, since she's nowhere near starting hers, but I swear it seemed to. So we got on each others nerves quite often. It was a bit rough. Thankfully, there is wine. And a Bev-mo is two miles away to buy more wine. For me, not her. Although some days that might not have been a bad idea. I think the Europeans are on to something giving their kids a glass of wine at dinner. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As the end of the summer neared she started to get worse. Every time I would try to get to the root of the problem she would insist she didn't know what it was. Her best friend, who's birthday is in December and is almost an entire year older than she is, was ecstatic to start middle school. She couldn't wait. When I thought about that, and combined it with the way Sonya was sad at the end of elementary school, sprinkle on being younger than everyone else... it finally hit me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We were in the car going to the beach one day during one of our last weeks. It had been another difficult morning with her where she ended up in tears and I was ready to tear my hair out. After a few minutes in the car I said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Sonya, I think you are having a really hard time dealing with the fact that you are going to middle school. I think you might be nervous and that's why you've been acting like this."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She shrugged and replied through her leftover tears, "Daddy kinda said the same thing to me yesterday."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Well what do you think?" I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Maybe," she admitted. "I don't know."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I then went on to explain to her that it is completely fine to be nervous and scared and even to embrace it. She needed to realize that is what was making her so unhappy and stop trying to fight it. I think she was having a constant battle with herself about this. I realized that maybe she thought everyone else was excited to go to middle school and she was the only one feeling this way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Do you think everyone feels the same way about going to middle school as Charlotte does?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Kinda," she said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Well, I have news for you," I told her. "More people feel the way you do about going than the way Charlotte does. And if Charlotte is completely honest, even though I know she is excited, I am sure there is a part of her that is scared too."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Really?" she asked.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Of course!" I told her. "It's completely normal to feel the way you are! It's a new school with a whole new set of circumstances. I know for a fact that Garrett is nervous too."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Really?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yup," I said. "I talked to his mom the other day about it."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">About a week before we had been out at a concert in Burbank and I ran into another mom I knew. Her son and Sonya had been in classes together over the years at the elementary school. We had started talking about our summers and the kids starting middle school soon. I had mentioned Sonya's emotional state and she said her son had been the exact same way all summer. Informing Sonya of this fact seemed to put her mind at ease. Over the next couple of weeks she became more pleasant and less stressed. We went back to school shopping and she started to become excited about the new year and new things to come. She was still nervous and would cry from time to time, but at least now she allowed herself to feel this way and not battle it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A couple weeks before school started we had to go register at the school and get her books and her lock for her locker. Seeing the school and becoming more familiar with it helped even more. She constantly asked me questions over the next few days about her locker, or her classes, most of which I couldn't answer since I haven't been to middle school in quite a few years, and never went to this one. One night at dinner she said,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I just wish I wasn't the first one to go. Like when Lana and Georgia go, I will be able to tell them everything so it won't be as scary for them."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I know," I told her. "It's one of the things you have to take on being the oldest. I totally understand that because it was the same for me. It's hard, but it's a good job for you and you will make it easier for them in a few years."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Knowing that she had the job of learning it all first seemed to help her even more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The first day of school came and she was a bundle of nerves, but she was definitely ready. She was up early and ready to go well before we had to. We all walked her down to the school to send her off on her first day. We were allowed that day to come on campus and walk our 6th graders to their lockers. As we entered the hall where her locker and first class were, I was immediately hit with the incredible urge to burst into tears. It was like taking her to her first day of Kindergarten all over again. Now <i>I</i> was the emotional one and it was completely unexpected. I swallowed hard and breathed deep, because it's one thing for kids to see their parents crying on the first day of kindergarten, but it's a WHOLE different embarrassing thing to see them cry on your first day of 6th grade. I couldn't let her have that stigma. It took some doing but I managed to get through it without tears.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She found her first class where Charlotte was already waiting. Coincidentally, they ended up in ALL the same classes, which was also a huge help for Sonya's nerves. We hugged and kissed her goodbye and walked out of the school to let her begin her next adventure. THEN I cried. I mean I wasn't going to hold back forever. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The best part was when she came home that day. She couldn't have been more happy or excited about being at school. She loved every minute of it and enjoyed every class. Sonya has always loved school, but the past couple of years that love started to wane, like it does for most kids. So perhaps she was ready to move on to changing classes, taking P.E. every day and housing all her belongings in a locker. I've often questioned the decision we made to send her to school so early and sometimes think we made a mistake. Then I remember what a bright, strong, brave, independent, social, sweet girl Sonya is. She may be emotional, but she always finds a way to rise above. That four year old kindergartner turned into a 10 year old middle school </span>er<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> more quickly than I could have imagined or liked. I'm positive that her middle school years will be just as successful as her elementary school years were. I know, without a doubt, that we did make the right decision all those year ago. I also know, that no matter what, I will always cry along with her with every transition she goes through. Why does no parenting book warn you of those things? </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Excited and nervous</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lana, Sonya, Georgia - They are getting so damn big! The other 2 started 3rd and 2nd grade.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F6VpWa3ybMM/VentJmh4chI/AAAAAAAABCs/mgk7uyvKYBQ/s1600/IMG_6881.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F6VpWa3ybMM/VentJmh4chI/AAAAAAAABCs/mgk7uyvKYBQ/s400/IMG_6881.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sonya and her best friend Charlotte<br /></td></tr>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-42772485058909832632015-07-21T20:32:00.002-07:002015-07-21T20:32:32.280-07:00Making Memories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm sure I have mentioned somewhere in the 500 posts of this blog that our family is part of Red Sox Nation. By that I mean we are Red Sox fans. Well, let me qualify that. Andy has been a long suffering Red Sox fan since the day he was born, watching them lose throughout his childhood. When they won the World Series back in 2004, for the first time in 86 years, I was pregnant with Sonya and only a month away from giving birth. While I wasn't born a Red Sox fan as he was, I became one in college. I had never watched much baseball growing up, but if you are living in Boston without a baseball team you better start cheering for the Sox or you better get out of Boston. So I did. Cheer for the Sox that is. I loved Boston. It helped that my best friend, Melissa, and I could see Fenway Park from the roof of our apartment Senior year. So when they were in the playoffs back in '04 I was just as excited as any long life fan. Okay, perhaps I didn't get all the suffering for so long, but still. I was pretty sure I was going to put myself into labor cheering for those games. Luckily I did not. Since then we have gotten to watch them win two more World Series. One when Lana was just a baby and one a couple years ago when all three girls were old enough to watch it on TV. Luckily they will not spend their baseball fan years pinning away for a team that seems cursed. They get to watch and cheer for the Red Sox knowing they have won 3 World Series (so far) in their lifetime. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Before we had the girls, Andy and I would go to see the Sox play the Angels every summer when they came to Anaheim. We went a couple years after having the girls, and even took Sonya one year when she was about six. However, we haven't been in at least four years. We've taken the girls to a couple Dodgers games, just to see some baseball. For a long time the tickets for the Red Sox/ Angles games were way to expensive for five of us. Just Andy and I going meant our tickets plus babysitting so we just forgot about it for a while. Then this summer, Melissa mentioned to me about going. She still tries to go every year. While the Angels have been doing well this season, the Red Sox, not so much, so I thought perhaps I could find some reasonable tickets. Fortunately, there were plenty. They were the seats pretty high in the stadium, but they were $18 a piece. Perfect to take the girls to. It would give them the baseball experience, while cheering for our favorite team. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For those of you who don't live in California, you have no doubt heard about the drought horrors here. The stories are all true. In the 19 years I've lived here, I've never seen it so dry. We are constantly monitoring how long the water runs in the shower, flushing toilets with water we collect in the shower, not watering our lawn, whatever we can think of. When we went back east a couple weeks ago, I cringed at all the water waste there and had to remind myself that Florida has plenty of rain. I don't think we've seen real rain since February? Maybe there was a storm in March? I can't remember. So, when the weather reports were all predicting rain for this past weekend, Andy and I pretty much ignored it. First of all it is July and even in our wettest years, it did not rain in July. Second of all- no rain since this past winter. Tickets for the game were for Sunday evening at 5pm. They were talking rain Saturday and MAYBE Sunday. Even if we got it on Saturday that would be it. It would definitely not rain on Sunday. When it did end up pouring all day on Saturday, we figured that was it. We go rain-Yay! But we would not see it again until November. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm assuming you all can see where this is going....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That is Angels stadium at start time on Sunday evening. Good thing I got the high up seats. We were actually under cover. We sat there for a while thinking it would eventually stop. So did everyone else. People who couldn't sit in their rain filled seats were hanging out on the concourse, consuming hot dogs and beer. The thing is about rain in SoCal, is that even if is does actually rain, it never lasts long. Maybe an hour, hour and a half tops. Well this is what the powers that be thought too, because they moved the start time of the game from 5:05 to 7:15 thinking that they could wait it out, clear off the field and start the game. We too were hopeful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We hung out with the rest of the fans at our seats, ate hot dogs, had a couple beers, chatted with each other, and were entertained by the videos of Angels players trying to "name that tune", and watched it rain. My favorite part of that was when Sonya named Michael Jackson's "Beat It" well before the player in the video. You gotta play the classics for your kids! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At one point I realized my friend BethAnnDoddKoehn was there with her family just a few sections over from us. So we all took a walk to say hi and chat with them. It was a party at the stadium in the rain! And it did continue to rain. Huh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then 7 o'clock came. The sky started to look lighter and it appeared to be slowing down, but when you looked at the tarp covering the infield you could see it was still coming down. Still, it was slow enough for them to decide to do this...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They were out there with push brooms, doing their best to get the water off the field, but it was a futile effort. They worked on it for 20 minutes, but the rain kept coming down. Then a few of them huddled together and five minutes later we heard what we were dreading. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Ladies and Gentleman, today's game is being canceled due to rain."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A huge groan mixed with boos went up from the crowd. What is this "game being canceled due to rain you speak of??" That was the thought of everyone there. We don't see this kind of thing. We see sunshine and blue skies and sure, brown grass, but at least our outside activities never get ruined! Unfortunately this one did. It was hard to be mad about it though, because damn do we need any rain we can get. We were informed that we could have come back the next afternoon for the makeup game, but unfortunately the girls were starting an afternoon Girl Scout camp. I would have been the only one able to go and where was the fun in that? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The girls were definitely disappointed. I was sad for Lana and Georgia who had been so excited to see their first Red Sox game. On the other hand, we kinda had a really fun night hanging out in the stadium, having dinner and watching it rain. It no doubt became a core memory for me as I'm sure it did for my girls. (For those of you who don't know what I mean by "core memory", go see <i>Inside Out</i>. The best Pixar movie ever. Loved it!) It will go down in our family history as, "remember that one time when we were supposed to see the Red Sox and Angles play...." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When we got home that night, I said to Georgia, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm sorry that we didn't get to see the game."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And she answered, "That's okay! I had fun anyway!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's all in how you look at things. Plus! We a got to become part of baseball, and more specifically Angles history, by being at the first rain out game in over 20 years. And who doesn't love being a part of history?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The mixed "core memory" emotions of the evening. </span></div>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-25987705949089637762015-07-10T14:15:00.001-07:002015-07-10T14:15:28.661-07:00Fact or FIC-SHUN?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A couple weeks ago, Georgia celebrated her seventh birthday. This time in our nation's capitol of Washington D.C. That child has not had a birthday at home for the past 3 years. The pitfalls of having a summer birthday. She doesn't seem to care though. In fact I think she likes being on vacation for her birthday. Really- who wouldn't?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Let me just reiterate the fact that she is SEVEN. You guys-I have been pregnant free for over seven years now! Yay! Although in all honesty, I am sad about that fact as well. However, having older kids does have it's benefits, like being able to travel much easier and having three <strike>slaves</strike> capable children to do my bidding. You know like oil changes and plumbing repair. Okay fine! Just unloading the dishwasher and making their beds, but still, at least it's less for me to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia has grown up so much in this past year. She looks more like a little girl now than a kindergarten baby of last year. She reads like crazy and she can do so much for herself now. Although she still won't walk to my bedroom in the middle of the day. You know we have monsters in our hallway that like to eat little kids. Did I not tell you that? Yes, if a child under 10 walks down our hall alone, the monsters will get you. At least this is what I'm fairly certain Georgia thinks. She is also getting better with the lying. Well, let me rephrase that. She is getting better with telling us when she is lying or telling us a FIC-SHUN story. No, no. I didn't misspell that. That is how she says it. "This story is FIC-SHUN!!" That is something I started making her say to us about a year ago when we realized she was making up stories that sounded very real but in fact were not. One of these stories led me to <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2014/11/tell-me-lies-or-maybe-not.html">talking to her teacher</a>, when she claimed she was having problems with a boy at school and told a entire story about him that was not true. So now when she starts to tell a story that sounds like it might be a tad outlandish I give her a look and she will say-"Oh! This is a FIC-SHUN story!" Her sisters will even call her on it when they feel like it's being made up asking her, "Georgia is this a FIC-SHUN story?" The good news is she always cops to it and while she still makes things up, she at least lets us know she is doing so. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Regardless of all that, she will still start off with a lie now and then. Especially when she feels like it will make her sound or look better than another person, usually her sister. The last week of school was more or less nothing but fun times for them, as it always is in elementary school. Lana was telling me about all the fun things her teacher had planned for the week and Georgia was standing there listening. Now I don't know why this is the favorite fun thing for them to do at school but it is, wear their pajamas one day. Georgia and Lana love doing this. Lana's teacher had planned a PJ day, but Georgia's teacher had not, even though they had other fun things planned that week. The fact that Georgia was not getting to wear her pajamas, made her a bit jealous of Lana. I wasn't surprised at her response to Lana telling me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"We get to have pajama day on Tuesday!! I'm so excited!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia looked at Lana and said, "Yeah well my teacher said we get to wear our pajamas watch a movie, have popcorn AND pizza!" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now I don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty kick ass day in first grade. I also know that about 75% of what she said was completely untrue. Even though she said this to Lana, I was sitting at the counter in the kitchen and heard every word. She looked over at me, caught me starting at her and before I even had a chance to open my mouth she said, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I just made all that up." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All I could do was laugh. So far I think I have curbed the lying without squelching her imagination. Point in the mommy column! I only hope that when she's 16 she continues to tell me when it's a FIC-SHUN story or that she made something up. You know -like this...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm spending the night at Luna's. Okay no. That's FIC-SHUN, I'm really going to a party over at the abandoned where house where there will be lots of drinking."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That's totally plausible right? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the meantime, I will enjoy this win and wish my beautiful last baby a Happy (belated) 7th Birthday. You are the sunshine in our mornings and the laughter throughout our days, and I promise that is not FIC-SHUN!</span><br />
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-35481885225333855252015-06-10T19:27:00.001-07:002015-06-10T19:27:46.053-07:00Milestone #56-The Hits Just Keep On Coming<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Two weeks ago Sonya, my oldest, graduated from 5th grade. Ok, I know- graduated -is a strong word at this age. I guess she promoted out of the 5th grade and elementary school. I suppose we have gotten a bit carried away with all of the pomp and circumstance, of celebrating every age of kids achieving something. Sure graduating from high school is a big deal, but now we celebrate preschool, end of elementary and end of middle school. I don't remember that ever happening when I was a kid. That being said, they did have a nice little ceremony for the "graduating" 5th graders, and yes I cried. Would you expect anything else?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It wasn't that long ago that I remember walking her into Kindergarten on the first day of school, just six years ago. In fact it was so not long ago that I wrote it about it <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2009/08/school-days.html">here</a>. Yet, here we are just a few short school years later celebrating the fact that she is done with elementary school and will soon be taking on a new much scarier challenge, middle school. (Dun dun DUN!!!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The ceremony at her school for her 5th grade promotion was full the kids singing songs and reminiscing about their days at their elementary school aloud to the auditorium full of weepy parents. It was all scripted, well choreographed and quite entertaining. In all honesty, I was prepared to be bored in our hot un-airconditioned auditorium for two hours, with my only reward at the end a chocolate chip cookie from Portos. Which if you know anything about Portos is a pretty damn good reward, but still, TWO HOURS. I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly it moved along and how fun it was to reminisce along with the kids and listen to their songs. Of course they called each child up to receive their "diploma", which may have been the most boring part except when Sonya got hers naturally. There was one song they sang in particular that made me tear up and the slide show they presented choked me up as well. However, it was the last thing they did that had me close to sobs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every year a certain number of 5th grade students receive the Presidential Academic Award. This is an Award that out of Sonya's class of 130 students only 23 achieved. Sonya was the second name called to the stage. I tried to take a picture or two, but it's hard to keep a camera steady when you are muffling sobs. I was so proud of her. This little girl who Andy and I struggled with whether to send to school at 4 years old, not only did well throughout her six years in elementary, but did <i>extremely</i> well. So well she got a signed (stamped) letter from The President. This little girl who was almost a year younger than some of her best friends, kept up with them and in most cases surpassed them academically. This little girl, who I realized as she stood on that stage accepting her award, was not such a little girl anymore. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How did this happen?? I feel sometimes like I missed it, but then I know I didn't because I can still recall every project I helped her with, and every friend she told me about. I was there for the struggles of homework, the joys of doing well on a test, and the problems with other kids from time to time. Then there were the panic attacks she had last year, when she struggled with learning about the human body and worrying about her own mortality. She has always come to me or Andy and talked to us about school or friends or whatever problem she was having. In some ways I feel like emotionally she hasn't been ready for every grade, but she's always managed to come through with flying colors. Now as she heads to middle school this fall, (or later this summer I should say), I worry that the little girl who is not so little anymore, will start to become distant from us. We might not get to help with every project or hear about every friend. She might shut us out if there is a girl being mean or she can't handle a certain subject. I know this, because I know this is what every tween-teenage girl does, including myself at that age. And this my friends, this is what makes me cry the most. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Years ago, when I started this blog, I could have paid for college if I had a dollar for the number of moms who came up to me telling me, "enjoy them now because it goes so fast!" Some of them much older and by themselves, some of them with a bored teenager standing close by rolling her eyes at her mom talking to a stranger. I remember at the time, when I was housebound 90% of my life thinking-"it's not going fast enough lady!" Now I find myself in Target or the grocery store alone and seeing younger moms with babies and toddlers struggling to get just one errand done, and I have to resist that same urge to run to them and tell them the same things so many woman said to me just six years ago. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It does go fast. Way too fast and I know that now. I still have some time to go with all of my girls before they leave us physically, but I am well aware of how I'm going to blink and Sonya will be graduating for real. From High School. So even though the summer sometimes drives me crazy what with having to drag them to Target and the grocery store, while refereeing multiple fights throughout the day, I will do everything I can to hold on to these days and have as much fun with them as I can, while they will still let me. I know soon enough they will be trading time with me for time with friends, and (gulp) boys. Then I will be left to sit in a dark room listening to "Cats in the Cradle" on repeat. Hmmm...Is 41 to old to have my husband reverse his Vasectomy and have another baby??</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In all seriousness, I am so proud of the daughter we have raised thus far. I know she will continue to grow into a strong, smart, fun, sweet young woman. Whether she talks to me or not. </span><br />
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-50974953069129080532015-05-11T13:46:00.000-07:002015-05-11T13:46:11.785-07:00Play Ball!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The two little girls decided to play softball again this year. We are still in that, "it's just fun to play" stage. It hasn't gotten hardcore yet. I was suspecting that when it does they would be out, but after watching how good they have gotten this season, now I'm not so sure. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I love watching the kids play at this age, because they are just so innocent about the whole thing. If you tell them always throw to first, dammit that's where that ball is going. Even if the runner made it to first two minutes ago. They try to figure out what's going on, but baseball can be confusing if you're not paying attention at all times and you know, sometimes when you are standing in the outfield a pretty butterfly goes by and you just have to see where it will land. Then they realize it's landed on the ball that rolled past that everyone is screaming for them to get. "Oh yeah! You're at the baseball game!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Okay, that scenario hasn't exactly happened to one of my girls, but there was a game a few weeks ago when Georgia did something that had us all giggling in the stands. Well, laughing after we yelled at her to run. The Peaches (the team the girls are on-yes after <i>A League of Their Own</i>) had the bases loaded and Georgia was on second. The next girl got a hit and they started running. The ball was far enough out that the third base coach waved Georgia home, but the other team was getting it together and the ball was starting to make it's way back home. Luckily, Georgia was way ahead of it. That is until she stopped running TEN FEET FROM HOME PLATE! For whatever reason, she stopped dead. Everyone in the stands cheering for The Peaches started yelling at Georgia to run home, along with all of her coaches on the field. She looked up at all of us yelling and waving her to home plate, shrugged her shoulders, turned and ran the rest of the way a few seconds before the girl from the other team got there with the ball. So yes she was safe, but damn was it close. And why the hell did she stop running??</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Well, I asked her after the game.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Um, Georgia, why did stop running?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Oh yeah!" She said remembering. "Then everyone started yelling at me to run."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yeah because you were supposed to keep going?!" I said.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Oh, well I thought it was a foul ball and I had to go back." She told me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now why she thought this I have no idea. She had already run past third and nobody was telling her to stop but something made her think this way. Perhaps it was the butterfly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here we are just a few weeks later and that child had a kick ass game last week. So did Lana. Georgia, was definitely the star though. She started out playing catcher, which in coach pitch means she just has to corral the balls that gets past the hitter, which is most of them at this age. She wasn't just corralling them though, she was catching just about every ball that came behind plate. They almost fell right into her glove every time. Then I realized she was making the effort to get them into her glove every time. She and Lana both got a hit off the coach pitching. This is something they have been doing more of lately. It's hard for the kids to get the timing right of when to hit the ball, even if the coach is pitching it directly over the plate for them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The best part about the kids when they get a hit off the coach is that they pause for a minute with a, "wait-did I just hit the ball?" thought. Then they hear the screams for them to run to first base. Unfortunately, Lana waited a little to long to realize what happened and was out at first, but hey at least she hit the ball! Georgia hit it and managed to get safely to first. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then came the last inning, there are only three innings at this age. Georgia was playing third. Most of the time they go through eight batters on the team and switch whether they get an out or not. However, if they make three out before the eight batters get to go, then they switch. That last inning was short, because Georgia made not one, but two outs in a row at third. That ball got hit in her direction and she as there to catch it and tag the base both times. For those of you who haven't seen 6 and 7 years old kids play baseball, you are probably thinking "yeah, so? Whatever." Those of you who have seen those games are just as impressed as everyone else was that day. She had parents from our team and the opposing team come up to her after the game to tell her what a great job she had done. I was so very impressed and proud. Unfortunately Andy was out of town that weekend as was Sonya, so I was the only one in the family to see it, but I talked it up to both of them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are coming to the end of the season in a couple weeks. I'm not sure if they will want to play next year, I guess we will cross that bridge next January. At least they know more what they are doing and with a little practice, they might actually be real softball players someday. Who knew? I honestly thought that butterfly would keep them from ever figuring this game out. I will file this lesson under-Never underestimate what you're kids can do. </span></div>
Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-62039842789754089262015-04-22T12:50:00.001-07:002015-04-22T12:50:35.015-07:00Following in Her Sister's Footsteps<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A few years ago, three to be exact, Sonya was in a play at school called the <i>Jungle Book.</i> It is something that the 2nd grade class does every year. You might recall that she was not so happy with doing the play at first, as I told about <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2012/05/star-is-born.html">here</a>. This was well before she pulled on the red wig and blew everyone away as Annie a few months ago. That was when she was still terrified of having anything to do with performing. Well, Lana is 2nd grade this year, and don't ask me where the hell the time has gone because I have no answers for you. Lana had a much different approach to the Jungle Book performance. Hers has been nothing but excitement since school started back in September.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The bad news for Lana, was that the teachers weren't sure they were going to be able to do it this year. There were some recent changes made and they were thinking they might not have time for it. I kept checking in with the 2nd grade teachers to see who I needed to complain to and be THAT parent, in order to make sure it DID happen this year, but not to worry they were on top of it. When January rolled around we were told it was indeed happening. It was at that point that Lana dug out Sonya's CD to listen to and learn the songs. Starting in January we could hear the <i>Jungle Book</i> songs coming from her room. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I was pretty certain that by the time the play rolled around our entire family could get up on stage and sing every song start to finish. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They had "auditions" for the kids to see which parts they would be playing. This basically meant every kid told their teacher which part they would like. From there the teachers choose the kids who are the best behaved and do well in school to give the main parts to. They kinda have to do it that way, because even if little Johnny is a kick ass actor he might be a total asshole to teach. The goal of this play is not to make it a Broadway production, but rather to give the kids an opportunity to get on a stage and learn how to work together. I think it's one of the best things they do during their elementary school years, because everyone eventually gets to participate, not just the kids that can afford after school lessons. So they give the parts to the kids who do well. However, as long as you can keep it together during rehearsals and follow directions, everyone gets a part of some kind. Even if it's not a main role. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lana had decided early on that she wanted to try out for Big Bear Baloo. I knew she would have a shot at getting something, since she is one of the better kids. I am very fortunate in that fact. As crazy as my girls may drive me at home, they are amazing students both academically and behaviorally. Their teachers can never say enough about how great they all are and I feel very fortunate in that fact. Of course now that I've thrown that out there into the Universe, no doubt I will get a call from the school about someone doing something they weren't supposed to. OK I will stop with the bragging about how amazing my kids are. Even though they are. Well, at school anyway. Like I said, at home they turn into demon children half the time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So Lana had it set in her mind who she wanted to play. Unfortunately, she did not get her first choice. She was a little disappointed, but not crushed. Especially when she was chosen to play the same part Sonya did just three years ago, Colonel Hathi, the main elephant. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She continued to practice and knew the songs backward and forward. I helped her memorize her lines and tried to give some suggestions on how to make her character sound better. Then I contemplated for a minute maybe teaching kids acting. That is until Lana took none of the advice I gave her. Ah well. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yesterday was the big day. When she was going to sleep on Monday night she told me she was nervous. I told her it was totally normal and she would do great. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Andy and I went in to help the kids with their makeup and costumes in the morning. This was something I didn't get to do the first time, since the other two were little. In fact, if I remember correctly, Georgia had a migraine and I had to have my neighbor come stay with her so I could see the show. I digress. We manage to get a good seat up front since we had been there volunteering and were able to make it in before anyone else. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lana stood up there and sang her little heart out to every song she had memorized over the last few months. When her part came up she marched down to the front of the stage and leading all of her "elephants". Then it came time for her lines. She was doing well, but then stopped suddenly. It got quiet for about two seconds. I'm sure they were the longest two seconds for Lana. Fortunately for her, her friend Lauren, who was playing Mowgli knew EVERYBODYS' lines. She was the kid who was mouthing along with everyone for most of the play. I know everyone knows what I'm talking about. Good thing for Lana! When Lana stopped Lauren half whispered half said Lana's line and then Lana picked it up from there. It was so damn cute and so second grade. Everyone in the audience kind of giggled. I was worried Lana would be distraught about it, but if she was she hid it for the rest of the play. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Afterward when I congratulated her she told me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I forgot one of my lines!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"It was fine," I reassured her. "Lauren helped you out and you remembered the rest. I doubt most people noticed and if they did they thought it was cute."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She seemed satisfied with that answer. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Just like Sonya, I know she will remember doing this for the rest of her life. She had such a great time and is sad that it is over. I only hope that the teachers don't run into problems next year so that they can do it again. I still have one more Colonel Hathi to go! </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With some of her elephant friends and Baloo</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She kept that makeup on all day. </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Mowgli, Baloo, Colonel Hathi</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Performing<br /></span></td></tr>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-25472887471262717232015-04-03T15:52:00.000-07:002015-09-29T12:03:07.364-07:00The Beginning of the Emotional Puberty Roller Coaster<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lately I have been dealing with something that is both familiar and foreign to me. Yes, I know that is an oxymoron, but I will explain. Sonya is ten. I don't know if any of you are aware of this, but ten is an age where things start to happen. You know, puberty wise. The truth is, she has been kind of on and off moody for about a year now, but in the past few months it has started to increase and intensify. I knew we were in trouble the other day when she came home from school, completely irritated, in a bad mood, and crying in bursts. When she finally admitted she was upset, after arguing that she wasn't, all she could tell me was, "I don't know! I don't know why I am acting like this!" I do, and I remember it well, but damn I'm not ready to mother it yet. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I honestly don't remember what age it started for me, but boy do I remember feeling like she did the other day. Truth be told I still feel that way sometimes usually around once a month, but it's not as intense and I know better how to handle myself since I'm adult. Well most of the time anyway. But I remember being that age and just feeling so distraught and not having a reason to feel that way really. I did feel like my world was about to end, just because my sister did something to annoy me, or I couldn't find the right shoes to go with my dress, or because in that moment the sky was the wrong color -dammit! Yeah, completely irrational. The other day Sonya came home and started stomping around the house for no reason other than to let everyone else know she was upset. Here was my biggest problem with her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Sonya?" I asked very nicely. "What's going on, hon?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Nothing," she said angrily. Certainly sounds like nothing! I pressed on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Okay, well you seem to be upset about something and are acting like it." I told her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"No I'm not," she argued. "I'm acting fine, mom!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh yes, because you yelling at me telling me you are acting fine means you are perfectly fine! See here is where I have the problem. This drives me insane. If you are in a bad mood, even if it's for no apparent reason, just ADMIT it! Say-"Listen everyone, I'm in a bad mood, I don't know why and I just want to be left alone." Done! We leave you alone. This is what I do during those once a month times. I just warn them all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm bitchy today because I feel bitchy and you would be smart to steer clear of me." Love, Mommy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then nobody can say I didn't warn them. Lana gets this. When she is in a bad mood she will tell us and then put herself in her room to be left alone. Not Sonya. She doesn't ever want anyone to think any less of her, so she is not in a bad mood, and if she is she certainly is not admitting it. So unfortunately, because her not admitting it irritates me, things escalated and she eventually ended up crying in her room, while I sat out in the kitchen fuming. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At one point Andy called and he talked to her for a bit. She was reluctant to talk to him at first, but after she did she seemed calmer. But no. I called her for dinner and we were right back at it. Me asking her what was going on, her saying there was nothing. WTF?! That was when I realized. It WAS nothing. I remember feeling that way so many times as a tween to teen to adult. I was just sad and mad at the world and my mom getting mad and grilling me did nothing but make me more upset and angry. This was it. The beginning of the puberty emotional coater. Yay.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So after dinner, I pulled her aside and told her I got it. Although she didn't really get it herself. I explained that she was going to be going through a lot of changes over the next few years (God help us all!) and that these changes were going to make her feel this way from time to time. She was going to feel upset and angry for what seemed to be no reason. It was called hormones and we woman have to deal with them our WHOLE lives. From puberty, to pregnancy, to menopause. We really don't get a break do we? Then I reminded her how I sometimes get cranky around my period and she agreed. She was a little quick to agree I will say, but whatever. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Do you remember what I say around that time?" I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Nooo..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Sometimes I say to you guys 'mommy's in a bad mood today guys. It's nothing anybody did, I'm just having a rough day so please try not to make it worse'. Do you remember me saying that sometimes?" I said.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yes," she agreed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Then you guys know what's going on and that you should try to behave a bit better, right? There is nothing wrong with me telling you guys that and there is nothing wrong with you saying the same thing to us." I told her. "This way I know how you are feeling and can help you, and also keep your sisters from making you more crazy because I know how that is too, ok?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Okay," she said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"This is going to be happening to you a lot more and we have to find a way to work together through it, right?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yes!" She said. "Thank you, mommy. I love you lots," then she gave me a hug and went back to her sunshine self. The puberty cloud seemed to have lifted for the moment. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know this is only the tip of a very gigantic iceburg for me. Not only do I have her to navigate through puberty, but two more <i>very</i> close behind. Hopefully we can all make it out on the other side in one piece. My sisters and I somehow managed to, and I believe my whole family was closer after all the growing up was said and done. Sorry mom and dad for how shitty we were sometimes. I know this is gonna suck, but hopefully it will make my family stronger in the end too. I may just need to start scheduling mom weekends away every other month. Or at least start buying wine in box form. Perhaps both. </span></div>
Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-67535767965395774542015-03-20T11:55:00.000-07:002015-03-20T11:55:17.834-07:00What's In a Name? -An 8th Birthday Story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tomorrow is Miss Lana Lu's 8th birthday. Lana Lu. Some of you might think Lu is her middle name since I call her that a lot. However, it is not. Her middle name is Drew, after her father, Andrew, and not Drew Barrymore like some people have also asked me. Although eight years ago when she was born all she had was a middle name for a while. For Andy and I middle names for the girls were the easier part. Coming up with the first names led us to divorce proceedings. Then we thought getting divorced over choosing a baby name was kinda stupid so you know, we worked it out, and settled on a name, or so we thought. We are good like that. However, little Lana didn't have a name on the day she was born.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Eight years ago today I went to the hospital to give birth to my second girl. Andy and I had settled on giving her Drew for her middle name, because Sonya had Lynne for hers, which is also my middle name. At the time we thought we were going to name Lana, Holly. Holly was a name I had always liked, partially because of the British character on General Hospital I had watched growing up, but also because I think it's a pretty name. Plus there was the fact that we really couldn't agree on anything else. We had lists of names, but Holly was the only one we both were ok with, so we thought we would go with it. The only bit of a problem with the name was that it also belonged to a girl Andy dated in college. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know all of you women out there just gasped and now think I'm crazy for even entertaining this idea. To be honest, I didn't care. I mean she was a girl he dated for a few months in college. It's not like she was ever someone he was planning on marrying. Far from it in fact. She may have been a bit of a um...how do I put this nicely...promiscuous girl. Yeah that's a nice word than what I was thinking of in my head (slut). What? She was! I'm not being mean, it really is just a fact. However, I've never been the type to care about who dated who in their past. I mean it's their past. I have past boyfriends too and we were married now and pregnant with our 2nd baby. It's not like I had a reason to be insecure. I can't help it if the girl he dated had a name we both liked. And dammit it was the ONLY name we both liked. So I said- who cares. Andy had more reservations about it than I did. She isn't someone he keeps in contact with at all, but he worried that if he ever did run into her one day what would she think about us having a daughter with her name. Would she think Andy harbored some burning desire for her still? He didn't want that, because he certainly didn't. I offered other names like Lila, or Georgia (yes that name was in the running since I had Sonya), but he wasn't keen on any of those at the moment, so we stuck with Holly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then I went through 23 hours of labor with the soon to be little Holly. I was doing everything I could to not have a c-section again and I succeeded. After I gave birth to my second daughter I was on a high I don't think I could even describe. Okay some of that might have been the pain medication. The rest of it was the feeling of accomplishment that I hadn't been wheeled to the operating room again to have my stomach cut open. No this baby got pushed out and I had done it. I was elated. I was ready to run marathon! Okay maybe not a marathon. And perhaps not run, but I could sit up and gingerly walk to the bathroom <i>on my own</i>. A million times better then right after a c-section. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Let me see her!" I said as they weighed and checked her APGAR.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Andy was standing with her talking to her as they looked her over. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"So?" I asked, "Is she still Holly?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He looked up and me and definitively shook his head no. Then when they brought her to me I saw why. She really in no way looked like a Holly. I don't know how else to say it. This is why when people name their babies in the womb, then start calling them that name, I personally think it's a big mistake. That baby can come out not looking like your name choice at all. My second daughter was NOT a Holly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Then what are we going to name her?" I asked Andy, hoping he had an answer. He did not. Back to the proverbial drawing board.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After we had moved to our room and we had a number of people ask her name, to which we had no answer, I pulled out my notebook. I had brought it with me with all the names we had gone over throughout the nine months. I was calling out names I had written down for each letter to Andy and he said no or I did. Then we got to "L".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Lonnie?" I asked.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Andy paused for a minute. "That's not bad," he said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Or how about Lana?" I said looking at the other "L" name on my list. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"That's a good one too," he admitted. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I looked down at my sleeping baby and tried out both names. She had been born with a set of full lips anyone who's had collagen injections would have killed for. The names both seemed to suit her, but we were still unsure. It was late and Andy had to get home to relieve our friend Melinda who had been staying with Sonya for over a day at that point. He left and we decided to sleep on it. Throughout the night when I was awake with my newborn I kept trying out both names, but Lana was that one that sat best with me. Something about it was cute and fiery. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Andy had gone home that night and told Melinda the names we were thinking about and she had sent me a message saying that she loved the name Lana. So the next day when Andy came in with Sonya we both agreed. On March 22, 2007 we introduced Sonya to her little sister, Lana Drew Dadekian. A cute and fiery name indeed. One that she has lived up to in her short eight years on this earth. The name Lana means light and then I found this on a website called sheknows.com: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">"People with this name tend to initiate events, to be leaders rather than followers, with powerful personalities. They tend to be focused on specific goals, experience a wealth of creative new ideas, and have the ability to implement these ideas with efficiency and determination. They tend to be courageous and sometimes aggressive. As unique, creative individuals, they tend to resent authority, and are sometimes stubborn, proud, and impatient."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
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Perhaps I should have researched more before we just decided that she "looked like a Lana", and went with it. Although most of those qualities are great and definitely Lana, it's the "aggressive, stubborn, proud and impatient" ones that have given me grief over the last eight years. On the other hand it makes her who she is. The kid who will decide she is going to do something and then you better stay out of her way because she is doing it. And she is doing it the way she wants to. She is definitely determined with certain things. I've always said that Lana is the one of my three I will worry about the least in getting ahead in life. She will make things happen if she wants them to. Then there is the stubborn and proud part, like the morning she argued with me for ten minutes on what day my birthday was on. She insisted it was April 28th. Even though I've been celebrating it on April 18th for 40 years, she made me wonder for a second if I'd been on the wrong day all along. I mean her way would make me 10 days younger. It is well documented on here over the years about her aggression and her temper, however, what the paragraph doesn't include is her ability to make up for her aggression. It might take her a minute or 60 to cool off, but when she does she always apologizes to whoever she wronged. Then everything just goes back to normal with her. There is no grudge holding with Lana. What's done is done, let's move on. Sorry if you are now sporting a 2 inch scratch across your cheek. I will ask mom to cut my nails later. (That really happened about 2 weeks ago.) Don't get me wrong though, she is a friendly and kind little girl as well. Although, those are traits I believe she works on more they are still something she aspires to be. </span><br />
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Yup, tomorrow is Lana's 8th birthday. She has developed such a great little personality in these 8 years, good and bad. It was a personality you could see from day one, which is why the name Holly would have never suited her. So I don't know if we chose the name Lana for her or if she chose it for herself, but I couldn't imagine her as anyone else. She is our light. Our unique, determined, courageous, impatient, stubborn, cute fiery and yes, even sweet, light of our family. I can't imagine my life for these past 8 years without her in it. I love you Lana La, Lana Drew for infinity times infinity. I can't wait to see where your fantastic personality with your matching name takes you in this life. </span><br />
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-43293685686407899232015-03-03T14:34:00.002-08:002015-03-03T14:34:42.132-08:00Common Ground<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've mentioned on here before how every year at Christmas time we take a trip to Disneyland. I am aware at how lucky we are to leave near the Happiest Place on Earth. I am also aware of how even more fortunate we are that we get in for free thanks to my good friend Melinda, who works for Disney. (Hi Melinda!) We have been going every year since Sonya was two or three. Even the years when the little girls were babies. However, I do not understand why anyone would want to take a newborn to Disney <i>unless</i> they had an older sibling with them. It is not always fun with a newborn especially when you are breastfeeding. I can point out many places throughout the park where I had to stop to nurse one of the girls. Outside of Minnie's house, yup. Main Street, check. During one of the parades, been there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The first few years we visited the park our trip was was mostly about seeing the characters, because that's all the girls cared about. That and a ride on Dumbo and the Carousal and we were done. In the past couple of years, however, it has become more exciting as they have become older, taller and more willing to ride some of the more fun or adventurous rides. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sonya was, of course, the first to go on those rides like Big Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain. I myself happen to LOVE roller coasters, so waiting for my girls to be old enough to take on these rides was like waiting to be tall enough to ride them myself. Sonya will ride them most of the time. They are not always her favorite and she could really take them or leave them. Besides, after last <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-happiest-place-to-get-migraine.html">year's incident</a> with the Indiana Jones ride, she is more nervous about hopping on a coaster. This year was the first year Lana and Georgia were able to ride both coasters. Lana was apprehensive about doing it, but Georgia...Georgia couldn't wait.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The first one we braved was Big Thunder Mountain. Lana was a bit nervous as we got on the ride. She was sitting behind me with Melinda, because she insisted she was going to ride with Melinda. You'd think she would want to ride with her mom or dad, but no. Gotta be Auntie Melinda. Georgia and Andy were in the car behind them and Sonya was with me. During the course of the ride I could hear Georgia giggling and screaming in delight the whole time. I turned around to see how Lana was doing, and to say she had a look of sheer terror on her face would be an understatement. For those of you who have never been on Big Thunder Mountain, it's pretty tame as far as roller coasters go. It's a perfect first coaster for kids though because of that. Still, Lana did not look like she was having fun, especially compared to the ear to ear grin and giggles GG was sporting. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Once the ride was over Georgia exclaimed how much fun it was and Lana, trying to be upbeat, said it was okay. Yes, that was upbeat for her. Although by the end of the day she claimed it as her second favorite ride, so who knows. I do know when I mentioned Space Mountain I received a very definite "Nuh-uh!" from her. Sonya was also not all that excited at the mention of Space Mountain. She has been before, but again, she's never super excited for it. Georgia on the other had was asking about it non stop.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After dinner and a ride on the Hunted Mansion and Pirates, we decided to split up. Andy took the two older girls to wait in the forever line at Peter Pan while Melinda and I took Georgia to explore the space coaster. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When we got there the wait said 45 minutes which I knew was pushing it, but figured it wouldn't take that long so we hopped in. Unfortunately, the time was wrong but we were on the bad end of it. We ended up waiting for over an hour. I was more than a little annoyed by the time we got to the front, but Georgia was still in good spirits and she was so excited for the ride I let it go.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She sat next to me in the car and wiggled around her seat when we got in, full of energy and smiles. I remember taking Sonya on that same ride just a few years before and what a different experience it was. She was anxious and holding on to me for dear life. Georgia was completely the opposite. She was on a high of happy and excitement. I had warned her that it would be really dark and if she was scared to just hold on to me. I could tell from the moment the ride started there would be no scaring her. We went through the first tunnel of lights making it look like we were about to take off and I looked over to see her smiling and looking around, completely thrilled. As we made our way through the winding darkness of the coaster, she giggled and screamed just as she had on Big Thunder Mountain. She probably didn't need to hold on to me, but I was holding tight to her, you know just to be sure she didn't fall out. (Sometimes it's hard to have fun and not still have mom thoughts in your head.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As the two minute ride came to a speeding stop, I looked over at her finally visible in the light. Her hair was wild and all over the place and she was still smiling, perhaps bigger than before. As we approached the place where we were to exit, I asked her how it was and she yelled,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"GREAT!!! I WANT TO GO AGAIN!" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I was so excited she was excited I thought about it for a second. Yeah, except I wasn't waiting an hour again. I will admit it was totally worth the hour wait the first time to realize that I had found my roller coaster kid. She didn't have a bit of her that had been scared. Nothing but excitement and fun. Exactly the way I was when I was her age with roller coaster. I was never scared. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> It's always interesting when you find something in common with one of your kids. Whether it's love of roller coasters, taste in food or your favorite animal being the same. Some of it is nurture sure, but there was no way I would have coaxed Lana into going on that ride. On the other hand this was all nature for Georgia. No amount of nurturing needed. It is something that brings me closer to her as she grows in to her own person. Even if the other two don't feel the same way, there are other interests that I can relate to with them. I can't wait to found out what those are over the years. Slowly, we are transitioning out of the just taking care of the kids and making sure they stay alive, to seeing them develop as people with their own personalities. Even though they don't need me as much as they once did, I get to now see what we will have in common to share in life. That being said, I can't wait to see who is going to be the wine drinker so I have someone else to go wine tasting with. After they turn 21 of course. Although that interest should never be combined with the roller coaster interest. The results would be disastrous. At least for me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-3040506418470551602015-02-12T08:47:00.001-08:002015-02-12T08:47:46.534-08:00Soon To Appear At The Laugh Factory<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Having three kids means one is always behaving less than perfect. It's a rotation of who is being the pain in the ass though. Sometimes it's Sonya with her backtalk and eye rolls. Other times the colossal Lana tantrums are what bring me down. Lately though it's been my sweet little Georgia peach who has been driving me bonkers. I'm not exactly sure why this is. Could be the whole -little sister not getting enough attention thing. All I know is she is having a hard time making the right choices and listening lately. Once you get to the third one you just kinda don't feel like it anymore. I know, I know, I'm a terrible mom, but I can't help it. The energy to deal is just gone. The thing about Georgia though, is no matter how bad she is acting or what she is doing that is not right, she is always the one who is trying to be the comedian. I'm beginning to realize that is what makes it harder for me to discipline her. Don't worry, I've been coming down on her lately and trying to get her back in line. I'm not completely letting it go. However if your little one was saying some of these things to you, you might have a hard time keeping the punishments going too. Here are just some of the things I've written down that she's said to me over the past few months.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">While playing outside one day last month, Andy noticed Georgia only had socks and not shoes on. So Andy asked,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Georgia-where are your shoes?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia looked down at her feet like she was just as surprised as he was and said, "Not on my feet!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Continuing in the shoe category...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One day she came home from school and took off the tights she was wearing and said to me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Ahhh! It feels so great for my feet to be back!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Looks like confined feet are just not her thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We were doing homework one night and I was helping her. Her class is learning how to tell time and she needed help to figure out where to put the hands to make it 7:00 on the empty clock face picture. She had the little hand in the right place.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Well the little hand is on the seven, that's right, good job. Now where does the big hand go?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She thought for a minute and then got excited and shouted, "At the o'clock!!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I mean, can I really say she's wrong?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Not to long after Christmas was over, but after the decorations were put away, she came to me one afternoon and out of the blue asked,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Mommy, does Santa die?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">These are the questions that you have to think carefully about before you answer them. The standard answer of,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"No, he's magic," is really the only way to handle this delicate situation. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She responded with, "Ok! Phew!" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Who knows how long that one was weighing on her mind?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are not a particularly religious family. We go to church at Christmas and Easter, and if the girls ask we will answer questions about God and religion. We don't pray on a regular basis either, (much to my mother's dismay, no doubt). However, every once in a while the girls will request to pray before dinner. We always let them. One night Lana made such a request, so she said her little prayer and then Georgia decided she wanted in on the action too. This was her prayer,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Dear God, Thank you for this food and our clothes. Not everyone has clothes and food and that's sad because they are naked and starving. Amen." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The kid does speak the truth. Hope you are listening God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The last one I wrote down happened most recently. It was just over the weekend and it's a bit more of a story. I've mentioned on here before how much like her father Georgia is with this sense of humor. Along with the sense of humor my husband has, comes a very large amount of sarcasm. This is something kids just don't get at a young age. When you are sarcastic to them they don't always understand. This has never stopped Andy from being sarcastic anyway. Now that they are getting older they understand it more, but not always. Hell there are times I still don't get when he's being sarcastic and pulling one over on me. He's really good at it. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On Sunday morning, after having an extremely busy Friday and Saturday, we were all dragging ourselves out of bed to get the day started. I was in the kitchen getting the coffee ready and Georgia was sitting at the counter. She started to cough a bit and sniffle, and so I asked,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Are you sick?" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now this was stupid on my part, because anytime you offer for something to be wrong with Georgia she will take it. The more attention she can get, the better. As soon as I said it, I knew my mistake and I knew she was feeling fine, but she immediately went into "woe is me" mode, and and said in a meek voice, "yes."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I think I'm sick mom, (cough, cough, sniff, sniff)." She told me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then in my "I'm not buying your shit" voice, I said, "Oh I'm sure you will be fine. If you're not, you won't be able to go to the birthday party today."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I didn't offer her any sympathy, which I know irritated her, but she wanted to go to the birthday party, so she decided not to push the act anymore. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">About five minutes later, Lana came to me whimpering because she had hit her head on her bookcase. I had yet to have my cup of coffee, and after going out with the moms the night before, really needed it before dealing with such complaints. Although, let me be clear, she did not seem to be in pain and I have always been the type of mom who has leaned more toward the tough it out, shake it off side of things when the girls got hurt. I was never one for babying them when they hurt themselves, unless something looked bad. Usually it isn't. As a result, I have some tough girls who barely ever cry when they get hurt. So when Lana came to me complaining about her bump I sorta blew her off too. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Oookayy," I told her. "You'll be fine, shake it off." (I'm pretty certain Taylor Swift must have heard me saying that every day for the past 10 years. Whatever Taylor! Just send the royalty check to Burbank. ) She didn't even try to milk it anymore, just walked away rubbing her head. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia had been in the kitchen with us when she heard me talking to Lana, as unsympathetically as I had been to her, and she said out loud to nobody in particular, but making sure I heard her,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"It's sooo nice to have a Mommy who takes such good care of us when we're sick or hurt."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was one of those things you hear a few seconds after it was said. And then it took me a few more seconds to register what it meant. My brain did something like this-"that's so nice that Georgia would say that... but wait... I wasn't being nice and taking good care of them at all...so why would she..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Georgia?" She turned and looked at me. "Were you just being sarcastic??" I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yeah," she admitted. And then I laughed, and laughed some more. She started to laugh right along with me and then everyone else in the house wanted to know what on earth was so funny. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia. Georgia is what is so funny. Right now, at this point in time of raising my girls, she is the reason why I am ready to tear my hair out at the end of the day. However, she is also the reason I laugh every day. So please excuse me if I have a difficult time handing out punishments to her that make her upset. I find it much more fun to laugh with her. </span><br />
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-24439827803943843572015-01-22T10:17:00.000-08:002015-01-22T10:17:14.044-08:00She's Baaaaacck!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So for any of you wondering, yes Sonya came back safe and sound last Friday afternoon. She had a fantastic time and talked ALL DAY LONG about her adventures at OSS. They did so many things, from hikes, to rock wall climbing, archery to astronomy. She did get to bunk in a cabin with all of her best friends and surprisingly nobody fought. Well, at least none that she told me about. She definitely missed us as we we missed her. Although, to be honest it wasn't to hard the first day or two. She is gone so much these day with extracurricular activities, that it wasn't until the day to day of breakfast or dinner or bedtime, that I started to really noticed her absence. Then it started to get hard. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My little girls said they missed her too. I will admit, having one less to take care of was a bit nice since there was less fighting, but only a little less. No worries-there was still fighting that occurred with those two. I swear they are going to be in their 90s, in a home, bickering and making up until the day they die. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anyway, it was a good experience for all of us. Lana and Georgia realized they liked having their big sister around and she missed them. They were all actually really nice to each other for about the first two hours she was home. I think two hours was the limit. The novelty of missing someone wears off quickly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The important part about all of this is the fact that she did get to go away and be on her own. Out of my three girls, Sonya has always been the one who has clung to us the most. She is the kid who cried EVERY DAY for TWO MONTHS when I dropped her off at preschool. Since she was five years old she has worried about growing up and moving away from home. I assured her then that she won't feel like that forever, but I don't think she believed me. So when this trip finally came up she and I were both a bit nervous. She did it though and she realized what a great time she can have on her own. She learned that she can take care of herself, and that there are other people even more messy than she is. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel so incredibly lucky that my kids go to a school where a program like this is possible. For those of you out there who don't have something like this at your school, I encourage you to find a sleep away camp this summer for kids about this age. It doesn't have to be for more than a few nights, but just those few nights can boost a kids confidence about themselves and their place in this world. In a time where we are afraid to let our kids ride their bikes four streets over by themselves, and we tend to "helicopter parent" over everything they do, it's important that we give them this freedom. It's important for them and for us as parents. Yes, you might think that 10 is to young, and it is to be completely on their own, which these kids weren't. They had camp counselors and teachers there. Don't worry, they were still watched, just not by their parents. Well unless you count the pictures we could see on Facebook. However, they are all so used to that because it's their reality. I loved being able to see Sonya having a great time. It made me feel better to know she was happy, even if I didn't have any contact with her for four days. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So yeah-I know I'm up here on my soapbox, but I just see so many parents these days who don't let their kids out of their sight. Even at ten. This is going to lead to a generation of kids who don't know how to do anything on their own. If you are one of these parents, think about loosening the apron strings even if you don't want to completely cut them yet. Let them ride that bike four streets over. Send them away for a few days. Let them discover who they are on their own. If you don't, you will have nobody to blame but yourself when you have your 32 year old "baby" still sitting on your couch watching cartoons every Saturday morning. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thanks to Bret Harte for helping me loosen my own apron strings. In three and four years I get to do it all again!</span></div>
Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-27425194312232568722015-01-12T13:53:00.002-08:002015-01-12T13:53:27.947-08:00She's Leaving Home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This morning Andy and I waved goodbye to our ten year old daughter for the next 5 days. Well, 4 ½ really. Yup, she is gone all this week. Her elementary school does this field trip every year for the 5th graders. It's called Outdoor Science School or OSS. They drive two hours away and stay at a campsite in the mountains. It's near Big Bear for those of you familiar with Southern California. Then they do all kinds of fun science related things. It's supposed to be a blast. I've known about this trip since she was in kindergarten. But again, it was a "someday" she will go. Those somedays are coming quicker and quicker. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I held it together for her this morning, even though I thought I was going to lose it a couple times. It actually helped that her bus took a bit longer to get going because of a problem they were having closing the emergency door, after the bus driver showed them how to open in case there was an emergency. The other buses had already gone and we must have waved goodbye to the students on her bus at least five times before it finally left, so it was a bit comical. That made it a bit less sad for me, and for her I'm sure. She was definitely excited to go on this trip, but there were tears at bedtime last night. I remember going away from home when I was her age for almost two weeks. On an airplane! And I wasn't really with anyone I knew! Yeah, I don't know what my parents were thinking, but I survived. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We had talked about the story of me going away many times over the past few months when she became nervous about leaving. I think it helped her to hear that what she was feeling was totally normal. I hear from parents who have already gone through this that the kids come back completely changed. A bit more mature and independent. I'm also hoping that it takes away some of the attitude she likes to cop with us. Although, I'm not holding my breath on that one. Can't say I will miss that, but I know I will miss her like crazy. It's going to be weird having only two to deal with for a few days. Sure Sonya has gone over to friend's to spend the night, but never for this long. On the plus side, I plan on making every meal she complains about and the little two are excited because some of them are their favorites. That along with doing an overhaul of her room should make this a little more bearable for me anyway. Andy is better than I am, and just kept saying "It's really only three days! It's fine!" Yeah, we'll see who is more sad tomorrow. I tend to get my emotions out of the way at the beginning of something. You know how men are though. He'll break eventually. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So here I am at yet another milestone with one of my kids. Leaving home for a few days. I know this is just a taste of things to come later on down the road, but I'm sure she will have a great time and yes I will eventually stop weeping and be fine. Now excuse me while I go refill my Xanax prescription. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yUYG0gl3HwM/VLRB8JALe2I/AAAAAAAAA90/WWirg76mVgg/s1600/IMG_5143.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yUYG0gl3HwM/VLRB8JALe2I/AAAAAAAAA90/WWirg76mVgg/s1600/IMG_5143.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Saying goodbye to her sisters</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NW2ynPAMLz8/VLRB9xMmZ4I/AAAAAAAAA98/Sn6HZDhzTMA/s1600/IMG_5146.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NW2ynPAMLz8/VLRB9xMmZ4I/AAAAAAAAA98/Sn6HZDhzTMA/s1600/IMG_5146.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With her besties, Lilianna and Charlotte<br /></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-1020102146043411642015-01-08T11:53:00.000-08:002015-01-08T11:53:13.978-08:00Kicking The Habit<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I first started this blog I <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2009/09/security-by-blankie.html">talked about the blankies</a> each one of my girls had. Sonya and Georgia both used their blankies along with sucking their thumb as their way to relax. Lana skipped the middle man and just sucked on her blankie, which yes, is just as gross as you imagine. I will be honest, they all still have their blankies, but they are not dragged all over the place every day as they once were. They are only for bedtime as just a security. Really, I never really cared much that they had them. I had a Dumbo stuffed animal from the time I was 5 that I slept with while sucking my thumb. He came to college with me. What I cared more about was the bad habit of sucking on their thumbs/blankies that went along with their lovies. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The thumb/blankie sucking was something I was always concerned about. However, when you have a nine month old and she can comfort herself in the middle of the night by sucking on her thumb, giving you an extra 20 minutes of sleep, you're not really thinking about the fact that some day you will have to break her of that habit. Someday is soooo far away when you have a 9 month old. You're just thinking, "Thank God that thumb is attached to her body so I don't have to leave this bed and help her find it." Then when they get older you start to realize that perhaps this may be a problem at some point. Especially when you start to think about the fact that the habit may lead to braces. If you don't know-braces are a small fortune. With three kids in them, it's more of a middle size fortune. A family trip to Hawaii-TWICE- fortune, if you will. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I consulted with the girls' pediatrician and dentist about each of their habits. They both told me the best thing to do was to leave it alone. So far the damage was not severe in any of them, especially because they still have baby teeth. They assured me that most kids by 6 or 7 will stop on their own. This made sense to me, since I myself was a thumb sucker. I did indeed kick the habit all on my own. I remember it clearly. It was right before I started second grade and I thought to myself that I was to old to be sucking my thumb, so I slept on my hand for a week. I remember how hard it was to fall asleep that first night, but I did it and I knew they would be able to as well, when they were ready.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was not wrong. Sonya stopped when she was around 6 ½-7. I can't remember exactly when it was, but she came to me and told me she wanted to stop sucking her thumb. My sister had just weened her daughter off of her thumb sucking habit and had used something called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/MAVALA-Mavala%C2%AE-Stop-0-3-oz/dp/B000PI36W6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1420744149&sr=8-2&keywords=malava+stop">Mavala Stop</a>. It is the typical paint the thumbnail and make it taste bad technique. Sonya knew this and wanted to try it to help remind her. So I ordered it and the day it arrived we used it. It took her all of one night to stop. Sure, that first night she had a bit of trouble sleeping but by night two it was easier, and night three not even a thought. I breathed a sigh of relief at how easy it was! What are the chances they would all be this simple? Then I remembered that nothing was really simple with my adorable second born child. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So Lana. I was petrified about trying to get Lana to stop sucking her blankie. I mean painting a nail is one thing, but what do you do with a kid who puts a blankie in her mouth? I couldn't paint the whole blankie with that stuff. Believe me, I considered it. The only solution was to just take away blankie. This was something I was not willing to do until I absolutely had to. So for a year and a half we talked on and off about how she was going to stop using her blankie. I thought that maybe if I painted the finger nails she sucked on under the blankie, that might work. Her blankie has thinned out so much over the years, surely she would be able to taste some of the bitterness on her nails and stop putting them, along with her blank, in her mouth. Over this past summer one night we tried it. She couldn't taste it at all and continued the habit. Back to the drawing board.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'll be honest, I kept putting it off and ignoring it. The only time she even used it was when she went to sleep at night. So really it was only in her mouth 10 minutes tops each day. I mean that's fine right? She could go to college like that? Who cares?! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Part of the reason I was hesitating on cutting her off was because blankie was a security for <i>me</i>. It's well documented on here that Lana is queen of the temper tantrums. She can destroy half a days time in our house with just one or two of her tantrums. They have certainly gotten better over the years, but she still has them when she doesn't get her way, is tired, hungry or just generally cranky. She is just a very fiery girl. Always has been from the time she came into this world. So her blankie would be her way to calm down more quickly when she was in the middle of a tantrum. It was like handing a smoker a cigarette and a lighter. Within a few minutes of sucking on her blankie, the tantrum would subside and she would become normal again. How the hell was I going to get through tantrums if <i>I</i> didn't have blankie to rely on? So yes, I was a bit lazy and didn't want to go through the withdrawal myself. If you'd ever seen a Lana tantrum you would totally be on my side with this one. You would have found a college that encouraged students to bring childhood blankies they sucked on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I didn't force her to stop, not yet. I figured once she hit 8 in March we really had to figure something out. I mean 7 is pushing it to still have a sucking habit, but 8...8 is just to old for that kind of thing. I would mention to her from time to time that we needed to think about getting rid of it. Of course that statement was always met with some kind of whine or whimper. We tried to come up with ways that would still allow her to have her blankie, but no longer suck on it. Unfortunately there weren't really any options. I finally told her that when she was ready, maybe I could lay with her until she fell asleep without sucking on blankie. I also said we could put it somewhere nearby like the end of the bed or under her pillow, that way it would still be around, but she wouldn't really be using it. I thought this was a way to provide a bit of comfort to her and baby step out of the habit. She thought that sounded like a good idea. Better than the other one I had-which was to put it in a plastic baggie to keep her from sucking on it. This was hard for me, dammit!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For a couple weeks she would say something about maybe me laying with her at night. Then she would decide not that night. I could tell she was getting used to the idea and trying to talk herself into it, so I didn't push it. Then she came to me one evening and told me she was ready. She wanted me to lay with her until she fell asleep so she could give up her blankie. I would have been more willing and excited if she wouldn't have picked the Monday BEFORE THANKSGIVING! Like I don't have enough shit to do already that week! So much cooking and preparing! Who has time to lay with their 7 year old for an hour while she tries to fall asleep without her vice? There was that part of me that hesitated and almost told her we would wait for the weekend-after Thanksgiving was over and I didn't have as much to do at night. Then I thought-"don't be so stupid! If SHE wants to do this now, you do this NOW!" So I did. Because who has time for that shit? A mom does. We will always make the time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That night I layed with her for about 45 minutes. A couple of times she told me she was having a hard time and really wanted to suck on her blankie. I told her I completely understood, but that she was doing great. Eventually she fell asleep. The next night Andy layed with her, but she feel asleep quicker. It took maybe 25 minutes. By the third night she told us, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm fine. I don't need you to sleep with me anymore. I don't need to suck on blankie."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And she didn't. She was done. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Two nights. Just like her sister, two nights. I never pushed her or forced her and I let her come to me to tell me when she was ready. The same thing we did with Sonya. I honestly believe this is the best way to break kids of their thumb/blankie sucking habit. The younger they are, the harder it is to break them of their habit, because they don't understand the need to break them of their habit. At 7, they get it. They know it's something they can't do forever. Not to mention, most of their friends aren't sucking on their thumbs. Going to sleepovers might start to get a bit embarrassing if they are still in the habit at night. That is most likely what pushed me into stopping when I was 7. Plus it helps that we gave her the incentive of going to her favorite place for breakfast if she made it a week without out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I also believe that if you wait until they are a bit older, they don't find something to replace the sucking habit, like with nail chewing. Although Georgia already seems to be doing that as well, so she may be getting a full manicure with the Mavala Stop. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lana still has her blankie under her pillow, but she doesn't suck on it anymore. As far as the tantrums...well so far it is taking a bit longer to calm her down. At least the tantrums themselves aren't as frequent at they were a couple years ago. Plus, Santa brought a standing punching bag for her to take her aggression out on. So instead of sucking on blankie she can just beat the shit out of that. Thanks Santa!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now that I've been through this twice, I am thankful for how much easier it was than I originally thought it would be. Of course, I suppose I shouldn't speak to soon. I still have one more to go. Georgia has already been talking about trying to stop ever since Lana did. Then we get to night time and she decides she's not quite ready. I figured I would give her until the summer and then we would try to push her a little more. Unlike Lana, I'm not as concerned about her stopping because she doesn't need her thumb for tantrums. She strictly sucks her thumb to go to sleep at night. No, I'm more saddened about her stopping, because it really is the last bit of babyness that I will have to let go of. Don't worry! I will help her to stop soon. I won't make this about me and my sadness of my kids growing up. However, I think that so far my methods for this part of parenting have been proven successful twice and I plan on getting a perfect score here, so I'm not rushing her. Well, at least not until it's time to send her off to college. </span><br />
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-41554893775697823102014-12-17T13:05:00.000-08:002014-12-17T13:05:30.346-08:00The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hello everyone! Christmas has been kicking my ass this year, which is why it's been radio silence for a month from this blog. However, I have so many stories in my head that I had to get at least one out now. So, I decided to do this instead of address my Christmas cards. They might not go out until after Christmas at this point. Whatever. Hopefully I will have some down time over the next couple weeks and be able to write a few more stories. This one happens to be about the latest star in our family, Sonya.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At the beginning of the school year all three girls signed up to be in the school musical. A production of "Annie". My friend, Elisa, who helped to bring the musical program to our school, swore Sonya would play Annie. I was hesitant and doubtful for a few reasons. I've mentioned before that Sonya isn't always one to get up and perform, and certainly not on her own. She's usually good in groups and has performed as part of the chorus in past musicals, but this-this would be an entire show about her character. As it turned out Elisa was right and the director did cast Sonya as Annie. I honestly had no idea how this was going to go down. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The day Sonya came home and told me she got the part she was ecstatic. I was happy for her too, but I gently reminded her that this meant she had to sing...alone. Was she okay with that? She assured me she was. I took her for her word, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for how this was all going to turn out. I wasn't even sure Sonya could sing well. I've heard her sing along to songs in the car or in the shower with her sisters and she's certainly not tone deaf, but the lead in a musical is totally different. I did have to keep in mind that this was a kids musical at elementary school and it wouldn't matter if she wasn't a fantastic singer. Most of the kids can't sing so well, but the girl who was the lead in past plays, who recently graduated to middle school, had a beautiful voice. Sonya had a lot to live up to. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As the semester went on, she and her sisters, who were orphans, went to rehearsals once a week on Tuesdays, leaving me with a very long alone day. A plus for me! Andy and I wanted to run lines with her and she was usually hesitant, but she did do it with us a few times. Although she didn't really need it. She had her lines down in about the first two weeks. I was always the same with acting and memorized lines very quickly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After about a month, the director gave us a CD for the girls to sing along and practice to. I would play it in the car and they would go through "Hard Knock Life" and "N.Y.C", but anytime "Maybe" or "Tomorrow" would come on Sonya would ask me to go to the next song. She refused to sing alone in front of me. Now I was really starting to become nervous. Was she going to be horrible? Not that I would love her any less, but I didn't want her to embarrass herself. For the life of me I will never understand those parents who encourage their children in a talent they are obviously not good at. Like all those moms standing outside American Idol insisting the judges don't know what they're talking about, after their precious baby couldn't hit one note. I refuse to be that mom. Still, I didn't push. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then one morning we were in the kitchen and the girls were helping me clean up after breakfast on a Saturday. Lana ran into her room to get her CD player and the "Annie" CD so they could practice. She and Georgia were more than happy to sing in front of us over and over again. They all went through their group songs again that I had already heard. Then the beginning of "Maybe" started. I told Sonya I wanted her to practice it. So she did, begrudgingly. All I can tell you is that it's a good thing my back was to them as I stood at the sink to wash dishes, because I was doing everything I could to hold back tears. Her voice was better than I had ever expected. After she finished, "Tomorrow" started and I encouraged her to sing that one to, but she told me she already knew it and moved on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The day of the show, Sonya was a nervous mess most of the day. There was a whole thing about her hair and the wig she had to wear, that she was (excuse the pun) wigging out about. I did my best to reassure her and tell her it was going to be great and not to worry. But she was worried. How could she not be? Andy and I were kinda right there with her. The night of the show I was still nervous for her, but at least I felt more confident in her ability. However, I wasn't quite sure how it was going to turn out. Perhaps "Maybe" was the only song she could sing? What if she forgot her lines? As Andy and I sat in the audience, listening to the overture, waiting for the curtain to open, he leaned over and said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I can't do this. I can't watch this."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Me neither, " I told him. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Having both done theater ourselves, we knew what she was feeling and we seemed to be channeling that into a parental way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Within the first five minutes I knew this was going to be great and she was going to be awesome. And I know I'm biased, but you guys she so was. Not to mention the fact that I cried for about the first fifteen minutes as well. This time I just let it go when she sang "Maybe". Listening to "Tomorrow" wasn't any better for my mascara. I can't forget about my little girls. Lana had a couple lines she delivered beautifully and she and Georgia knew their dance steps and their songs spot on. However, Sonya was the star. Rightfully so, since she was Annie. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After the show and for a week later, I had parents coming to me telling me how amazing she was and how beautiful her voice was and how long had I had her in voice lessons? Ummm...never. A few people told me I needed to help her pursue a singing career, but to be honest, as much as she liked doing it and had a great time, this is not something she has a bug for. Well not yet anyway. Who knows what the future will bring, but for now she's just a ten year old kid having fun singing and acting in an elementary school musical. I'm not calling Broadway just yet. But in the meantime you can check her out and see what you think. I am so incredibly proud of the job she and her sisters did. It was one of those moments as a parent where you think, Yup. I helped make this little person and I did damn good. (So far.)</span><br />
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-75344228942130991402014-11-19T15:30:00.004-08:002014-11-19T15:30:55.923-08:00Double Digits<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My baby turned 120 months last week. Can you believe she is that old already? I mean 120 months is so big. Fine she is 10. Ten years old. I was trying to still feel like she was little but 120 months just sounds so ridiculous. Just about as ridiculous as people who refer to toddlers as being 39 months. Come on! They are three! Don't make me do math in my head to figure out how old your kid is in years. Once a kid gets past a year and a half the months should end. Just saying. But I digress. Ten. My oldest daughter is ten.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not quite sure how ten years past so fast. There was a time I thought ten days was taking a lifetime, but now time just seems to sprout wings and take off whenever I try to hold on to it. It's amazing how much you learn in ten years of raising a human being. I realized my capacity for how much I can love someone else. Someone, who for a very long time, gave me nothing in return, but smiles and giggles. Who would ever put up with someone in their life who took everything, and did nothing but smile at us and be okay with it? A parent. Although, I will say that once they leave the toddler stage the just smiling thing doesn't work all the time. They do have to up their game with a hug or two. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I discovered I had more patience than I imagined and how hard it is to keep that patience a good 99% of the time. I love my girls so much though, that I have no choice but to try and harness that patience as much as possible. It doesn't always work, as you all may have read. From time to time I lose that patience and then I pay for it later with the other emotion that has taken over as a mom...guilt. Mom guilt is a serious affliction and it effects 100% of the moms I know in one way or another. It doesn't matter if you stay at home, work full time, part time or are Martha Stewart. At some point in time, and in a lot of cases all the time, mom guilt will get you. It is my least favorite part about being a mom and it's impossible to get rid of because of the love for your kids. Ah! Vicious cycle! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've learned how to be more empathetic, trying to see things from another perspective. Not only from my daughters' side of things, but through the eyes of my own mother who experienced many of the same things raising three girls herself. There have been a number of "Oooohhhhh...." moments over the years, when I've thought about my own childhood and realized where she may have been coming from. I have a feeling those moments may start to come more fast and furious now that the teen years loom ahead. I've also developed more empathy for both of my younger sisters. Because I'm raising three girls, I see the dynamic of their relationship from this side. I see where I might have been somewhat of a pain in the ass big sister from time to time. I see it in Sonya. She is constantly saying the very cliched "You don't understand!" when it comes to matters of her sisters, to which I tell her, "Nobody understand better than I do." I see it from all sides now and it has helped me to be a better older sister and try to teach Sonya to be better to her sisters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then there is the selfless part of all of this. The putting your kids' needs above every one of your own. That might be the hardest lesson to learn, because let's face it, we are all selfish by nature. We all want what is best for ourselves, until we have a kid. Then we only want what is best for them. I suppose they are an extension of ourselves, so in a way it's still a bit selfish, but it doesn't feel like it when you give up the last piece of chocolate cake to your little one. Dammit, you love chocolate! Then again you don't need the calories anyway, and she looks so cute with chocolate all over her face. Although, we know it's not just giving up cake, but your entire life. Sleep means something entirely different after kids. Free time is basically sleep. You give everything of yourself, because you want them to be as happy as possible. Plus this helps alleviate the mom guilt. There is that fine line of being selfless and spoiling, so you have to be careful. Still you will do what it takes to make sure they are happy-without being to spoiled. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My entire life I wanted to have kids. It was never a question of if for me, but always of when, when when? I was excited to have kids. I thought I was going to be the best mother there ever was. God was I deluded. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls more than anything and would not change a thing about having them, but this job is harder than I ever expected. Learning this much patience (even as I write this and the girls are in the other room doing exactly what they are NOT supposed to be doing), having this much empathy, trying to be selfless...it's not easy. The easy part is loving them, because you just do. Although that can also be hard, because anytime something doesn't work out for them or hurts them, it kills you. Plus there are the times they act like jerks and you don't like them very much, but I know I will always love them no matter what. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So as I look back over these last ten years and see what Andy and I have accomplished as parents, I am proud of what we have done so far. Our girls are not perfect, far from it, but most of the time they try so hard to be good kids. They are friendly, kind, courteous, caring, loving, silly little girls. When we were in Hawaii, every place we went people told us how well behaved our girls were. How amazed they were at their politeness. Sonya is leading that pack. The constantly screaming infant from a decade ago has turned into such a sweet, smart, empathetic, fun loving, kind hearted, independent, curious girl. Yes, she has her moments where she has too much attitude or thinks she knows all about the world, but I remember being there. All it will take is for her to have her own daughter one day to knock her down a peg or two and become an even better person. (But not for a long long time.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy tenth birthday beautiful girl. Who knew raising a human being would help make me a better one? Thank you for doing that for me. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">10 days</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">10 years</td></tr>
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Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-63530984981469515712014-11-09T23:19:00.000-08:002014-11-09T23:19:01.198-08:00Tell Me Lies-Or Maybe Not<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A while back I told you all how Georgia was <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2013/10/pretty-little-liar.html">starting to lie</a> a bit. Well, I'd love to tell you that is all better now. Nothing but honesty here! But that would be a lie. In fact she's gotten so much worse. She lies about things that I can find out about right away.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Me- "Did you make your bed?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia- "Yup!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Me- "Let me just go check."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia- "Oh wait! I'm going to make it now!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes she will recant the lie right away:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Me-"Did you make your bed?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Georgia- "Yup! No! I'll be right back."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then there are the lies she thinks I won't ever find out about. The stories she tells her friends at school. About a month ago I was at the school for one of the 40 reasons I'm there every week. It happened to be during her recess time and I found her on the playground among her friends playing. I waved to her and she and all of her friends ran over to hug me. I know a lot of them from helping out every week last year in Kindergarten, so you know, I'm kinda popular with the first graders now. Don't be jealous. Anyway, as I'm standing there giving everyone hugs her friend Katie says to me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Can I come over to your house and see the turtles sometime?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Not now, nor have we ever had turtles in our house. I immediately looked at Georgia whose eyes had gotten as big as saucers. She looked at Katie white faced and said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Ummm..Yeah...I was just joking about that. We don't have any turtles."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I let it go in the moment, not wanting to embarrass her in front of her friends further, but later that evening Andy and I had to sit her down and talk to her about not lying to her friends. Especially about things they can come over to your house and find out about. I mean really Georgia! Tell them your grandparents in Florida have turtles. How will they ever know? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then there are the lies she tells because from what I can tell she is trying to feel important like her sisters. From time to time, Sonya will come home with a problem at school. Sometimes it's with another kid in her class. She will tell Andy and me what is going on and then we give her advice that she usually follows and she tells us how it works out. Georgia has been around for these stories, so I suppose she wanted a piece of the action. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One night we were sitting at dinner and she tells me about the little boy who sits next to her in class. Apparently, he bothers her from time to time and says things about Lana to her. Why Lana? I don't know, but according to Lana that part is true because she has heard it. I told her to talk to her teacher about it, because if he's really bothering her during class and affecting her learning then that's a problem. She told me okay. The next night we are sitting at the dinner table and she says to me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"So! I talked to Mrs. Shah about Sebastian today."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Oh good!" I said. "What did she tell you?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"She said I should just put my hand up like this when he says stuff to ignore him." She shows me how she has her hand covering the left side of her face to shield her eyes from the boy sitting next to her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Oookkkaaayyy," I said. "Did she say she was going to talk to him?" I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Ummm, I think so," she decided. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I thought it sounded kind of odd, but she seemed satisfied with her results, so I congratulated her on taking control of her problems like Sonya does and she was happy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The next day I was in the school (I swear I should be getting paid for some of this) and Georgia's teacher walked into the room I was working in. I said hello to her and then said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Georgia told me she talked to you about Sebastian yesterday."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Mrs. Shah gave me a quizzical look and then said, "Huh, I'm not remembering this."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Oh it wasn't a big deal, she just said he was bothering her sometimes and you told her to put her hand up and ignore him." I said trying to jog her memory. Then I realized she didn't have this memory because it NEVER HAPPENED.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Well, I don't remember that, but that doesn't mean anything. Let me talk to her and find out," she said.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At this point I knew I had caught Georgia in another lie.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"No, actually, don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure she didn't say anything to you. She has been having a bit of a lying problem lately. I will find out what's going on. Thanks though." I told her a tad embarrassed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That night I confronted Georgia, and at first she refused to talk to me about it. Then when she realized she was caught, she cried and cried. I comforted her and assured her that I still loved her, but that she can't lie like that and then I gave her a punishment. I had to. I mean that was a big lie where I ended up looking like an asshole because I talked to the teacher about something that never even happened. She ended up having to do extra chores that night. In all honesty on my part, I'm not sure that even worked. I have caught her in other little lies and now when she tells us things that are going on at school I'm skeptical. The problem is she is GOOD at it. She completely makes you believe her, because I think she convinces herself. I know she only wanted to feel important when she told the lie about the kid at school. Like she had some kind of problem she needed help with like her sister. I mean I'm not fine with her lying but it makes sense. What scares me more than anything though is the thought that, if she is that good at lying at six, how skilled will she be at sixteen? Why? Why does the Universe hate me? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br /></div>
Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-9299965614815118802014-10-13T14:12:00.000-07:002014-10-13T14:12:01.222-07:00An Answer To Everyone's Burning Question <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ever since the girls all started school full time, the number one question I get is, "So what are you doing with all your free time?" "Who me? Why I'm just sittin' at home watching my daily shows and chomping away on some bon bons!" I'm just assuming that's the idea that people have of what I'm doing. Instead my real response is, "what free time are you referring to and where can I get it?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I guess if I was a different sort of person and a different sort of mom, I could indeed just chill out and do nothing all day. I suppose that can be said for anyone who has a paying job too. You can either do your job and do it well, or you can half ass it and still get what little you need to get done, done. I happen to be the type of person who wants to do things well. There's cleaning to be done every day and not to mention the cooking. I am the type of mom who cooks. Not pick up something up from Costco and heat it up type of cooking mind you, but pick out a recipe every day and make it from scratch type of cooking. Do you know how long it takes to plan meals and then make them almost every day? It's a huge chunk of my day, but I want my family to eat well and eat healthy and cooking myself is the best way to do that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am also the type of mom who gets involved at school. For the first two months of school I felt like I had a part time job there. I was there every day making copies for this or getting approval for that. I have volunteered for two positions that took up a lot of my time at the beginning of the year. Right now it is a bit more manageable, but eventually I will have more to do with both of them again. I also help out in the girls' classes whenever I can, because I can. Because I don't have a job, I feel it's important to volunteer my time to the school where they need all the help they can get. It's not like when we went to school and every teacher had an aide and there were extra aides wondering the halls to help out with whatever. The staff is bare minimum these days. There are teachers and the ladies in the front office. That's about the extent of the staff. Oh and the janitors. Other than that, there are the parents who help for free. It's usually the same ones I see every day. We are lucky enough to be able to stay home, but give what we can of ourselves to the school. Some of those parents really should be making some kind of salary for all the time that they are there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was sorta feeling guilty about the fact that I stay home a good chunk of the day with no kids now and people are questioning what I'm up to. I mean I do have 6 hours alone, but the day goes by in a blur and before I have time to wipe down a counter it's 2pm and I have to start pick ups from school. I don't even have time to keep up with this blog anymore. Not because I don't want to, but because there just isn't enough time in the day. I'm always so busy with other things. Then my sister sent me the link to <a href="http://www.babble.com/relationships/being-a-stay-at-home-parent-is-a-luxury-for-your-spouse/">this article</a> last week, and after I read it I thought, "exactly". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is exactly why I stay home and take care of the cooking, cleaning, shopping and all the other crap errands that we don't really want to do. Then on the weekends, my husband and I aren't both running around doing those tasks. We can actually spend quality time together as a family. He doesn't have to worry about what needs to get done for the most part. I run this house and I believe I run it well. I have friends who both work and they spend the better part of their weekend getting done all the menial things I do during the week. Add to that their obligations to their kids soccer or baseball games and birthday parties, and your weekend is completely destroyed every week. I'm glad I don't have to fall in that category. I like that we get to spend weekends going on family bike rides or to the farm. Sometimes we can even just hang out and play games all day if we want. Sure we have our obligations to go to baseball and birthday parties, but they are not squeezed in between grocery store and Target runs. So what I do with all my time is take care of things that need to get done, so I can take care of my family on the weekends. With running errands and all the help I do at the school and I have a pretty full schedule. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I said, it's all of my doing. Of course I could sit around and eat bon bons all day, but I'm not looking to gain 100 pounds and get divorced. I will admit I take the occasional time for myself. I did sneak off to see a movie alone one morning last week, and proceeded to feel guilty about it all day. I also know that when I was working a desk job there were plenty of hours that I didn't have much to do and surfing the Internet became my job. I'm sure there are those of you out there who have days at work where you do nothing all day. Well, that I can't do. Even if I do nothing all morning I still have kids that come home by 2:30 who need running around to different activities and insist on eating a full meal in the evening. My slacking off can only last for so long. I know how lucky I am to be able to stay home and do these things, but I also realize now that my family is just as lucky that I'm willing to stay home to make their lives easier. I'm sure as they get older I will find myself with even more time, which means eventually I will find someone to pay me for whatever skills I can offer. For now though I like being the CEO of the Dadekian corporation. Even though the monetary pay is really shitty, the emotional pay is more than I can ask for. So what am I doing with all my free time? I run a major household corporation that keeps four other people alive, happy and thriving. Not bad work if you can get it. </span></div>
Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597510702607922689.post-75766890598045324122014-09-16T11:00:00.000-07:002014-09-16T11:00:06.614-07:00Surprising the Hell Out of Me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Last week, on September 11th, the girls' school had a little assembly, just for the kids, in remembrance of what happened 13 years ago. Wow. 13 years. None of the kids at the school were even born then. For them the events of September 11th are what Pearl Harbor is to a lot of us. It's difficult trying to explain it to them at this age, but we do in a very factual no details sort of way. They get the idea of it and understand that it's a day where we come together as a country and mourn the loss of those who died and a bit for our sense of safety. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">During the assembly they do the Pledge of Allegiance and sing the Star Spangled Banner. I had totally forgotten that they do this assembly until I was headed into the school later in the morning. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Side note-since I've had all 3 of them in school I have been working for the school part time. Without pay. I say that because I have volunteered for a few things that required a ton of my attention this first month of school. All those closets I thought I'd have cleaned out by now with the girls in school all day, continue to need cleaning out. I don't know if I will ever have time for anything other than school and Girl Scouts. Everyone keeps asking me, "What are you doing with all of your free time now?" Yeah-what free time? Admittedly I do it to myself, because I can't just be one of those moms who drops off her kids and then sits at home watching TV for hours. So I wanted to help out more. However, I need to learn when I'm overdoing it. Of course my mom has never figured that out and she's 63, so I might be in trouble. Moving on!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I was walking into the school, the principal was on her way out. She knows all three of my girls and, since I'm so involved, me as well. She stopped me on my way into the school to let me know that Sonya sang the Star Spangled Banner in front of the entire school. Huh? MY Sonya? Long blond hair, 5th grade, <a href="http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2012/05/star-is-born.html">"I'm not one for performing</a>" Sonya? Yup.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Apparently what had happened was this. Ms. Taylor (the principal) asked Sonya's teacher if she could have a couple of the 5th graders lead everyone in the Pledge. Well Sonya's teacher immediately picked out Sonya and her best friend Charlotte who are two smart, very well behaved girls. When they got up there to lead the Pledge, Ms. Taylor joked that afterward they were going to sing a solo of our National Anthem. Then she laughed it off, but Sonya said "OK". So they did the Pledge and with microphone still in hand, Sonya went into her rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. In all honesty I wasn't even aware she knew all the correct words to it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">According to Sonya, she thought Charlotte was going to sing with her, but when Sonya tried to hold the microphone between them Charlotte pushed it back Sonya's way, so she shrugged it off and kept going. Now I wasn't there to witness this, and I have no idea how she sounded, but who the hell cares? I was absolutely shocked that my child who tends to embarrass easily and worries what other people will think, got in front of her entire school to belt out a song. I was also extremely proud of her. Proud of the fact that she knew the song well enough to perform it and proud of the fact that she had the guts to get up there and sing it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's so interesting to watch your kids get older and turn into these people with their own thoughts, feelings, and ways about them. This wasn't something I prepared her for or even suggested she do. It was something she chose to do on her own. It just shows what an awesome girl she is becoming. Well, despite the fact that I still get a daily eye roll and a sarcastic comment thrown my way from her most days. I blame that on the impending hormones. Hearing about what she did makes me feel that Andy and I are doing a good job raising her as a confident, smart, self sufficient young lady. To go from coaxing her to take a part in the <i>Jungle Book</i> in second grade to her stepping up to sing on her own 3 years later. It makes me excited to see what she might do next. Okay and maybe a little nervous, but mostly excited!</span></div>
Kristihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07758440282844020289noreply@blogger.com0