Today is my 39th birthday. 39. T-H-I-R-T-Y N-I-N-E. Next year I will be that other number. The one up from 39. So I will try and enjoy this last year of my 30s. The funny thing is I don't even feel like I'm 39. Half the time I still think of myself as 29. Maybe 31, but certainly not almost-you know. I don't know why 40 (Aaahh! I said it!) is freaking me out, but it is. I will try to get over that in the next year I suppose, because really it's only a number right? And, and as my Pop-pop used to say "beats the hell out of the alternative!" He was so right about that. Or maybe not, because who knows what's after this? For now I want to be here though, and 40 is still youngish these days. At least if I compare myself to my parents.
Anyway-in honor of my birthday I thought I'd share a story about myself from a birthday 30 years ago. It is a story I completely forgot about until just recently. It came back to me when I took a look at Lana's little feet a couple months ago. I realized just how tiny and NARROW they were, especially in the heel. Her foot looks like the small letter v. She has a few pair of "slip-on" type shoes, but they always seemed to be too big on her. They were constantly coming off her foot. I thought we just had the wrong size, but no, her toe was were it should be. Then it occurred to me. When I was a kid all I wanted was a pair of "slip-on" shoes. I could never have them though, because my heel was so narrow and I would constantly step out of any I tried on. I had Lana hold up her foot for me and sure enough-the letter v. Poor thing. Like she's not tiny enough and still wearing a 5T, now she can't wear certain shoes. That was when I remembered my 9th birthday.
As I said, all I wanted for years-or maybe months because who knows how long time is at that age-was a pair of shoes with no buckles or straps. A grown up pair of shoes that I could just slip on and off my feet. Then on my 9th birthday I finally got a pair. Now I can't recall why I was able to get this pair. I don't know if my feet grew or if my mom just found some that actually fit me. Either way, I was ecstatic when I opened my present that morning and of course I was going to wear them to school.
At the time, I went to a private Catholic school, so we had to wear uniforms. The only thing you were allowed to wear that was your own were your shoes, and I couldn't wait to show off my new ones. I walked onto the bus and showed all my friends. I got to school and paraded around the classroom for all to see. They were my new shoes and they were awesome! AND-bonus-they didn't come off my feet! I couldn't be happier and I was definitely obsessed with them.
I was the kind of kid who always listened and did what she was told. Especially at school. My girls are the same way. As much of a pain in the ass as they can be at home, at school they are angels. I never caused problems and NEVER got in trouble with the teacher. I always paid attention and got good grades. I guess I was a nerd or maybe a goodie two shoes. Every day the teacher would read to us from a chapter book and we would all sit on the rug to listen. I loved to listen to her read us stories and never had a problem paying attention. Usually. That day, however, I had a distraction-my new shoes.
As I sat on the rug, my legs tucked to my side, I admired my new grown up shoes. They looked so great! And look how the slipped on my heel, off my heel, on my heel, off my heel. I guess I hadn't realized I was playing with my shoe and completely ignoring the teacher until she called me on it.
"Kristi," She said.
I stopped mid heel slip. She wasn't talking to me was she? I looked up and she was indeed talking to and looking at me.
"We all love your new shoes," she told me. "But you need to pay attention to the story and not to your shoes, ok?"
A couple of the kids around me giggled, I slowly nodded my head and turned about ten different shades of red. I had gotten IN TROUBLE! ME! IN TROUBLE! And on my birthday no less! Because of my most beloved present! I was horrified.
It was the first time I had ever gotten in trouble at school and looking back it really wasn't even that big a deal. Although at the time, I remember how mortified I was. I honestly can't remember if I wore those shoes to school again. I'm sure I did, though because they were so cool. They slipped on! And off!
It's funny how memories like that will just come back to you like a slap in the face. I had totally forgotten about that until I started looking at Lana's foot and realizing how narrow it is, just like mine was. Thirty years ago. I think more than anything, I can't believe it's been THIRTY YEARS since I was 9. I swear it was only about 10 years ago I was that age. But here I am. The good news is, I can totally wear a pair of slip on shoes now and there is nobody who will yell at me for playing with them. So I guess getting older isn't all bad. Can you all remind me of that when I start to have a panic attack next year at this time?
Anyway-in honor of my birthday I thought I'd share a story about myself from a birthday 30 years ago. It is a story I completely forgot about until just recently. It came back to me when I took a look at Lana's little feet a couple months ago. I realized just how tiny and NARROW they were, especially in the heel. Her foot looks like the small letter v. She has a few pair of "slip-on" type shoes, but they always seemed to be too big on her. They were constantly coming off her foot. I thought we just had the wrong size, but no, her toe was were it should be. Then it occurred to me. When I was a kid all I wanted was a pair of "slip-on" shoes. I could never have them though, because my heel was so narrow and I would constantly step out of any I tried on. I had Lana hold up her foot for me and sure enough-the letter v. Poor thing. Like she's not tiny enough and still wearing a 5T, now she can't wear certain shoes. That was when I remembered my 9th birthday.
As I said, all I wanted for years-or maybe months because who knows how long time is at that age-was a pair of shoes with no buckles or straps. A grown up pair of shoes that I could just slip on and off my feet. Then on my 9th birthday I finally got a pair. Now I can't recall why I was able to get this pair. I don't know if my feet grew or if my mom just found some that actually fit me. Either way, I was ecstatic when I opened my present that morning and of course I was going to wear them to school.
At the time, I went to a private Catholic school, so we had to wear uniforms. The only thing you were allowed to wear that was your own were your shoes, and I couldn't wait to show off my new ones. I walked onto the bus and showed all my friends. I got to school and paraded around the classroom for all to see. They were my new shoes and they were awesome! AND-bonus-they didn't come off my feet! I couldn't be happier and I was definitely obsessed with them.
I was the kind of kid who always listened and did what she was told. Especially at school. My girls are the same way. As much of a pain in the ass as they can be at home, at school they are angels. I never caused problems and NEVER got in trouble with the teacher. I always paid attention and got good grades. I guess I was a nerd or maybe a goodie two shoes. Every day the teacher would read to us from a chapter book and we would all sit on the rug to listen. I loved to listen to her read us stories and never had a problem paying attention. Usually. That day, however, I had a distraction-my new shoes.
As I sat on the rug, my legs tucked to my side, I admired my new grown up shoes. They looked so great! And look how the slipped on my heel, off my heel, on my heel, off my heel. I guess I hadn't realized I was playing with my shoe and completely ignoring the teacher until she called me on it.
"Kristi," She said.
I stopped mid heel slip. She wasn't talking to me was she? I looked up and she was indeed talking to and looking at me.
"We all love your new shoes," she told me. "But you need to pay attention to the story and not to your shoes, ok?"
A couple of the kids around me giggled, I slowly nodded my head and turned about ten different shades of red. I had gotten IN TROUBLE! ME! IN TROUBLE! And on my birthday no less! Because of my most beloved present! I was horrified.
It was the first time I had ever gotten in trouble at school and looking back it really wasn't even that big a deal. Although at the time, I remember how mortified I was. I honestly can't remember if I wore those shoes to school again. I'm sure I did, though because they were so cool. They slipped on! And off!
It's funny how memories like that will just come back to you like a slap in the face. I had totally forgotten about that until I started looking at Lana's foot and realizing how narrow it is, just like mine was. Thirty years ago. I think more than anything, I can't believe it's been THIRTY YEARS since I was 9. I swear it was only about 10 years ago I was that age. But here I am. The good news is, I can totally wear a pair of slip on shoes now and there is nobody who will yell at me for playing with them. So I guess getting older isn't all bad. Can you all remind me of that when I start to have a panic attack next year at this time?
1 comment:
Happy Birthday! Don't worry, forty isn't all bad!
Susan
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