Monday, January 31, 2011

Injured in the Line of Motherhood Duty

I know I only posted once last week, and I apologize for that.  There was something going on that I will explain later on in the week, perhaps.  Nothing terrible, I promise.  In the meantime, let me tell you how I punched myself in the face this weekend.  

Thanks to a few of you who responded to my Help Wanted post, I decided to try, once again, to night potty train Lana.  What I've been doing is putting her to bed in underwear and waking her up around 11pm, then I put her on the toilet to pee.  It's so cute, because she's completely asleep and out of it when I do it, but she always goes.  Unfortunately, this doesn't help her for the whole night.  Every time I do this she usually wakes up around 5ish calling for me, letting me know that she has peed the bed.  On the plus side this is an improvement, because before when I put her in bed with just underwear on, she would pee and then lay in it for who knows how long, without waking up.  

Saturday night we tried the underwear again.  I put her on the potty around 11 and she went.  Then Andy and I went to bed around midnight.  About 5:30 I got the call from her that she had peed.  Not only had I been in a dead sleep, but I was in the middle of a dream.  Anytime I get woken up in the middle of a dream, I'm more groggy and out of it than usual.  I stumbled down the hall, where the light popped on, and into her room.  I took her out of bed and pulled off the towel and "pee pee pad".  (Sidenote-best invention ever for the night time training!  It's a pad that goes over top of the sheet so that when they have an accident, you take it off and don't have to change the sheets in the middle of the night.  Saves precious sleep time.  A friend of mine gave me hers because she didn't need it anymore. )  I started to take off her pajamas and figured I should get a wipee to wipe her down since she had pee all over her backside.  At this point the light in the hallway had gone off again. Because I was still really groggy and it seemed more dark than usual, I couldn't really see where I was going.  However, I THOUGHT the bedroom door was open all the way.  It was not.  I walked at full pace toward the doorway and ran, left cheek first, SMACK! into the side of the door.  The door shook and the pain shot up my face.  I stood there  for at least two minutes clutching my cheek saying as quietly as possible,


Lana kept asking,

"What happen mommy? What's wong??"

I couldn't answer her I was in so much pain.   I had made so much noise that I woke Andy up and he came to see what was going on.  I asked him to get me a wipee, and finished getting Lana cleaned up, changed and back to bed.  Then I went to the kitchen to get an ice pack to put on my poor cheek.  All I could think of was how I had to take the girls to a birthday party at 10am the next day.  How the hell was I going to explain the huge bruise on my cheek??  Isn't that the excuse abuse victims use when people ask about their black and blue marks? "Um, I ran into a door."  Yeah right!  Like anyone believes that, but I really did!  Poor Andy would start getting questionable looks from the other moms now.   

When I came back to bed, Andy asked me what happened.  I started laughing, because I'm sure I looked hysterical running into the door and if someone would have recorded it, I could be famous on YouTube right now.  I told him what happened.  He started laughing too.  I knew he would find it amusing, because he loves the kind of stuff when people fall down, or run into things and hurt themselves, as long as it's not a bad hurt.  Then he asked which part of my body I ran into the door with. When I told him my cheek, I thought HE was going to pee the bed.  He assumed I ran into it with my leg or body.  He said I shook the whole house when I did it, and that is why he got out of bed to see what was going on.  We laughed about it for a while and then went back to sleep, me with an ice pack on my cheek.  

When I woke up a couple hours later I went to the mirror to see how bad the damage was.  Fortunately, for me there was nothing there but a red mark, easily covered by makeup.  Unlike almost everyone I know, I do not bruise easily at all.  It hurt a lot and it still tender even now, but no bruise.  At least that means no nasty rumors getting started about me and the beatings I might be getting at home.  

Lana is still not quite getting through the whole night without an accident.  Although, now when I go in her room in the middle of the night I make sure to open the door ALL the way.  I'm not so sure my poor cheek wouldn't bruise if I hit it a second time.  Not really interested in finding out. 

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