Can You Hear Me Now?

Since I spend the majority of my day at home, and my sisters  both stay at home with their kids, we spend some time on the phone together, throughout the week.  I also talk to my mom quite often.  Since we live nowhere near each other, the phone is our main source of keeping up to date with each other, as well as our outlet to bitch about our kids, husbands and our day.  It's just the way it is.  However, there is something about a mom talking on the phone that signifies to kids, "Hey-it's time to run around, scream and eat lollipops with M&M's!  Mom is on the phone!!  It's get away with murder time!!!"  While this is partially true, I do NOT let them eat lollipops with their M&M's.  It's one or the other!  

Yesterday I was on the phone with my mom.  I hadn't talked to her since Sonya's first day of school, and I wanted to catch her up on how she was doing.  The entire conversation with my mom was half of me talking to her and half yelling at the girls, for one reason or another.  My mom and my sisters are the only ones I'll continue a conversation like this, because they understand.  Anyone else I would get off the phone with after about 5 minutes, mostly because I'd like to keep my friends.

I was starting to get to the point of getting off the phone with my mom, because the girls kept interrupting me.  Understanding or not, it gets annoying to anyone after a while, including me.  The three of them were playing outside and Sonya came in asking to paint.  The problem was she didn't want to use her washable watercolor paints, she wanted to use the canvas paints we used a few months ago.  The bigger problem is they don't wash out of ANYTHING, including our patio.  Trust me on that.  I told my mom to hold on and told Sonya no.  Then she did one of the things that makes me want to sell her at our next garage sale.

"Please, PLEASE, PPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" She begged.

Oh sure, NOW I'll let you use the paint, since you said please three times in the loudest, most annoying way possible.  Including the drawn out "please", which is every mother's favorite!

"No, Sonya," I said through clenched teeth.  

Then she did it again jumping up and down this time, which I love even more.  When she got the same answer, she marched over to the closet, we keep the paints in, and proceeded to take them out herself.  I took them from her and explained that they were not washable and therefore not paints I was willing to let them use anytime.  If she didn't knock it off I was going to try and get more money for her on craigslist.   I took out some finger paints, that were supposed to be washable, although I really don't trust anything except Crayola.  Still, this was a better alternative.  I told her she could paint on some paper with those.  She didn't want to at first, but when I said that it was this or nothing, she decided to take the paints and go outside to find Lana.  What I didn't realize was, she didn't have any paper.  

I continued the conversation with my mom for a couple more minutes, and Sonya walked in to wash her hands, which looked like gloves of paint.  Then I peeked outside to see Lana elbow deep in paint and putting it all over the patio.  There was no paper in sight.  I quickly said good-bye to my mom and told them painting time was over.  

"BUT WHHHYYYY!?"  They wanted to know.

"Because you were supposed to paint on paper, not on the ground," I said.  "I need to hose off the patio to make sure the paint doesn't stay there."

I was pretty sure we wouldn't be able to sell the house someday with a ginormous original Dadekian painting on the patio.  Luckily, it wasn't anywhere near dry so it came off pretty easily with the hose.  Both girls had it all over themselves and their clothes, so I turned the hose on them to screams and squeals.  They both took off running then decided to take off everything they were wearing.  Before I knew it they were running around the backyard buck naked.  We do have an entirely walled in back yard, so any of you worried about child predators, need not to.  There they were, completely naked, covered in paint running around screaming.  Georgia was getting wet so I undressed her, but left her diaper on.  Then they decided it would be fun to ride their bikes... naked.  That's when I let my state of being annoyed go and just sat there laughing.  Sonya and Lana riding around on their bikes like Lady Godivas and Georgia in a nothing but a diaper, giggling and clapping at them.  As mad as I had been that they had made such a mess for me to clean up, I was just as amused at how they just continued to have fun.  Besides, it was my fault for being on the phone and not paying attention to WHAT they were painting.  

I would like to say that from now on I won't be on the phone when they're running around playing, but come on, I like being honest with my readers.  So instead, I'll just make sure I have more lollipops and M&M's to quiet them, and put the paint where they can't reach it.