Monday, October 13, 2014

An Answer To Everyone's Burning Question

Ever since the girls all started school full time, the number one question I get is, "So what are you doing with all your free time?"  "Who me?  Why I'm just sittin' at home watching my daily shows and chomping away on some bon bons!"  I'm just assuming that's the idea that people have of what I'm doing.  Instead my real response is, "what free time are you referring to and where can I get it?"

I guess if I was a different sort of person and  a different sort of mom,  I could indeed just chill out and do nothing all day.   I suppose that can be said for anyone who has a paying job too.  You can either do your job and do it well, or you can half ass it and still get what little you need to get done, done.  I happen to be the type of person who wants to do things well.  There's cleaning to be done every day and not to mention the cooking.  I am the type of mom who cooks.  Not pick up something up from Costco and heat it up type of cooking mind you, but pick out a recipe every day and make it from scratch type of cooking.   Do you know how long it takes to plan meals and then make them almost every day?  It's a huge chunk of my day, but I want my family to eat well and eat healthy and cooking myself is the best way to do that.  

I am also the type of mom who gets involved at school.  For the first two months of school I felt like I had a part time job there.  I was there every day making copies for this or getting approval for that. I have volunteered for two positions that took up a lot of my time at the beginning of the year.  Right now it is a bit more manageable, but eventually I will have more to do with both of them again.  I also help out in the girls' classes whenever I can, because I can.  Because I don't have a job, I feel it's important to volunteer my time to the school where they need all the help they can get.  It's not like when we went to school and every teacher had an aide and there were extra aides wondering the halls to help out with whatever.  The staff is bare minimum these days.  There are teachers and the ladies in the front office. That's about the extent of the staff.  Oh and the janitors.   Other than that, there are the parents who help for free.  It's usually the same ones I see every day.  We are lucky enough to be able to stay home, but give what we can of ourselves to the school.  Some of those parents really should be making some kind of salary for all the time that they are there.  

I was sorta feeling guilty about the fact that I stay home a good chunk of the day with no kids now and people are questioning what I'm up to.  I mean I do have 6 hours alone, but the day goes by in a blur and before I have time to wipe down a counter it's 2pm and I have to start pick ups from school. I  don't even have time to keep up with this blog anymore.  Not because I don't want to, but because there just isn't enough time in the day.  I'm always so busy with other things.  Then my sister sent me the link to this article last week, and after I read it I thought, "exactly".  

This is exactly why I stay home and take care of the cooking, cleaning, shopping and all the other crap errands that we don't really want to do.  Then on the weekends, my husband and I aren't both running around doing those tasks.  We can actually spend quality time together as a family.  He doesn't have to worry about what needs to get done for the most part.  I run this house and I believe I run it well.  I have friends who both work and they spend the better part of their weekend getting done all the menial things I do during the week.  Add to that their obligations to their kids soccer or baseball games and birthday parties, and your weekend is completely destroyed every week.  I'm glad I don't have to fall in that category.  I like that we get to spend weekends going on family bike rides or to the farm.  Sometimes we can even just hang out and play games all day if we want.  Sure we have our obligations to go to baseball and birthday parties, but they are not squeezed in between grocery store and Target runs.  So what I do with all my time is take care of things that need to get done, so I can take care of my family on the weekends.  With running errands and all the help I do at the school and I have a pretty full schedule.  

As I said, it's all of my doing.  Of course I could sit around and eat bon bons all day, but I'm not looking to gain 100 pounds and get divorced.   I will admit I take the occasional time for myself.  I did sneak off to see a movie alone one morning last week, and proceeded to feel guilty about it all day.   I also know that when I was working a desk job there were plenty of hours that I didn't have much to do and surfing the Internet became my job.  I'm sure there are those of you out there who have days at work where you do nothing all day.  Well, that I can't do.  Even if I do nothing all morning I still have kids that come home by 2:30 who need running around to different activities and insist on eating a full meal in the evening.  My slacking off can only last for so long.  I know how lucky I am to be able to stay home and do these things, but I also realize now that my family is just as lucky that I'm willing to stay home to make their lives easier.   I'm sure as they get older I will find myself with even more time, which means eventually I will find someone to pay me for whatever skills I can offer.  For now though I like being the CEO of the Dadekian corporation.  Even though the monetary pay is really shitty, the emotional pay is more than I can ask for.   So what am I doing with all my free time?  I run a major household corporation that keeps four other people alive, happy and thriving.  Not bad work if you can get it.  

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