Thursday, August 14, 2014

Bug Invasion

A few weeks ago Andy and I were sitting on the couch after everyone had gone to bed chatting when he looked up at the wall behind me and said,

"What the hell is THAT?"

I turned around to find the biggest, weirdest, green bug crawling slowly toward the ceiling.  It wasn't moving fast and it didn't look like a flying variety of bug.  Andy and I stood there in our living room staring at it and assessing how we were going to get rid of it, and trying to figure out what the hell it was.  I thought it looked like a praying mantis, but Andy pointed out it didn't have the front legs for a praying mantis.  He thought maybe a grasshopper, but if it was, it was the biggest one I'd ever seen.  Plus he was crawling and not hopping.  Either way, we couldn't leave it there, so what to do?

Squish it?  No way.  It was too big and it would have made a gross mess.  Suck it up in the dust buster?  Andy thought it was to big for that too.  Plus I didn't really want to kill it, because I got the feeling he was kinda harmless.   Then it was starting to become out of our reach as it made it to the ceiling, so we opted for trapping it.  I found a tall plastic cut to put over top of it to trap it and try to get it inside.  I handed it to my very brave husband who looked at me and said,

"I'M doing this??"

Um YEAH! Okay, I love my husband very much.  He is a great provider, wonderful father and he make me laugh all the time.  But here's the thing about my husband and bugs,  he is a bit of a...how do I put this delicately?  Well, he's a pussy when it comes to bugs.  Always has been.  He hates how they squish when you kill them.  He will kill a fly, no problem, but crawling bugs and spiders.  Forget it.  I don't need him for the flys though, because we have a cat who doesn't let a fly live more than five minutes in our house.  For the most part I don't kill spiders, but pick them up in  tissue and let them free outside.  Unless they're really big, then they might be goners.  Other crawling bugs I usually squish, but yeah, it's the mommy show when it comes to bug wrangling/killing in this house.  However this was one bug I was not touching.  I carried and birthed three kids.  He could trap one weird giant green bug.  I felt that was fair.

"Yes,  you're doing this," I told him.

"But my back...if I step on the couch wrong or something what if my back  goes out?" He was trying to make excuses and I wasn't buying.

"You'll be fine! Now man up and get the damn bug!" I encouraged.

So he reluctantly stood on the couch and put the cup over the strange insect.  It immediately did what we wanted and crawled inside the cup.  Andy took a magazine and placed it on top so he couldn't escape, or fly if he could.  Then we looked at it for a few minutes trying to figure out what kind of bug it was.  Neither of us knew.  It was some weird hybrid praying mantis, grasshopper looking thing.  Andy took it outside and let him free in the front yard to go live again and invade a neighbors house perhaps.  

The next morning I was getting the girls ready for swim lessons.  My in-laws were here and I was telling them our creepy bug story from the night before.  The girls were listening while I was describing the bug and Georgia all of a sudden piped up with,

"Oh!  That's a leaf bug!"

Uh-huh.  Okay cute little girl.  Suuuureee it was green leaf bug.  I thought for sure this was something she made up, especially because she is really good at making things up. 

"Oh, I'm not sure what it was Georgia," I told her.

"It WAS Mommy!  It was a leaf bug!" She insisted.

Then Lana asked, "What did it look like again?"

"Kind of like a praying mantis, but it had long antenna..."

"Oh yeah," Lana said very sure of herself.  "That was a leaf bug."

"What?  Are you guys making up a name for bugs now?" I asked.

"No!  Dat's what it is!  I've seen it at school," said Georgia.

"Yeah, there was one on our wagon one time too," Lana informed me.  

If only there were some device to look up things like "leaf bug" and see if they were indeed correct...Good thing my father in law was there, because a few taps on his phone and he found the exact bug that invaded our house.  Behold!  The leaf bug!  That is the actual name.  


This looks like  the one we found, but if you google leaf bug, there are a whole slew of weird looking ones out there.  You can see why I wasn't going anywhere near that thing.  

So I learned two things that day.  One-I learned about a new insect I had no idea existed, and two-Age 6.  Age 6 is the age when your kids start to become smarter than you are.  Fan-freaking-tastic.  

1 comment:

Josh Kaos said...

That was a great story.My cat "Freddie"was sitting outside on the deck.I noticed he was watching something,about twelve feet away,was one of those enormous green,leaf,grasshopper,things.I didn't know what it was either,until now.Leaf Bug.
Thank You Josh