Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Pretty Little Liar

Lately, I’ve been having a problem with Georgia I’m not sure how to address.  It’s not a huge deal right now, but I’m afraid if I don’t do something about it now it’s going to be so much worse in about ten years.  She’s been lying.  

Here’s the thing though, she lies about things that don’t even matter.  She makes up things about other kids at school or her teacher.  Two weeks ago she told me that she played the game Clue at school and she was on her teacher’s team.  I thought that seemed odd, playing Clue in Kindergarten.  She eventually told me she had made it up.  Then there are the times she lies because she knows she’s going to get in trouble.  

“Georgia, who drew on the rug?”

“I don’t know,” she said and shrugged her shoulders.  

I knew it had to have been her, partially because she has been writing on other things she's not supposed to and partially because she was the only one home besides me.  However,  it took me almost ten minutes to get her to admit it.  By the end she was upset and in tears fearful of what punishment was to come.

I think the biggest problem is that she lies seamlessly.  She doesn’t bat an eye and completely believes the lie she is telling.  I know there are kids who go through this, but I haven’t had one yet.  Sonya wouldn’t be able to lie if her life depended on it and Lana sees no point.  She will just tell you the truth whether you like it or not, no matter if she gets in trouble.  She will tell you flat out that she punched her sister in the stomach. Georgia, however,  hates getting in trouble and has learned a way to make everyone believe her lie, including herself.  

You can see why this kind of behavior will worry me in years to come.  So I ask you out there in Internet land-have any of you had to deal with this with your kids?  What do you do?  I feel like punishing her when she eventually does tell me the truth will just push her into never telling me the truth again.  Why should she when she knows at the end she will  be punished?  Then again, I don’t want her to think it’s okay to lie to me to begin with.  Yup-I’m at a loss.  Anyone out there with any ideas, feel free to throw them this way.  

1 comment:

Hollyhome said...

Had this conversation once with an Art Theripst who said that one way to help combat this is to encourage creative play where it is ok to tell stories. Like help her write a book, do a puppet show, encourage the girls to come up with skits and act them out,making songs. The idea behind it is celebrating the imagination and the things we can think...but helping to set a boundry for when it is okay to make things up and when it is not. Also, does so with out enforcing a punishment for the behavior.
We have one that makes up stories in our house. We also have one that has lied out of embarassment of the topic. We also have a BLAME THE OTHER SISTER! Creating outlets and building trust on what we will and will not YELL about has helped.