Happy (day after) Mother's Day!

Every year since I started this blog I have shared my Mother's Day "About My Mom" that the girls' have done at preschool.  This will be the final year I receive one of these and yes I've cried about five times over it.  So, one last time I share with you the adorableness of how old a four year old thinks their mom is, among other things.  

Not sure what to make of this one.  Should I be offended that she wants to get me make-up and eyelashes?  I'm all for the breakfast in bed though.  Still, I suppose my thinning eyelashes as I get older is really starting to show if Georgia notices it.  Damn.  

She did a pretty good job with this one.  Although I really only wear dresses for special occasions, like weddings.  Or Easter.  While I enjoy that she made me so young, it does mean that I legally can't have wine, so we should really talk about that one.  My girls have always known my favorite color.  I guess I did a good job getting that point across.  Again with the liking to eat fish!  Lana said the same thing last year.    Just because I make fish and make them eat it once a week, doesn't mean it's MY favorite food.  It just means I'm trying to instill healthy eating habits.  Trust me, I'd much rather eat cheeseburgers and pizza every day too.  

I love the this picture of us.  It is quite the likeness of me, no?  I am the purple one, of course, since it's my favorite color.  Orange is Georgia's favorite color.  Best picture ever.  Since this is the last time I will get these for Mother's Day, these pictures will be up in my kitchen until Georgia goes to college.

How They See Me

I know it's way past Mother's Day, but I had to share these with you.  I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to get them on here yet, so better late than never!  We get these at our Mother's Day Tea along with a gift the kids make at the preschool every year.  It always makes me laugh what they come up with, although Lana was pretty dead on this year. 

WHAT?!  I COULD be 16!  Although that means I had Sonya when I was 9, but still!  And while I do enjoy sushi, I'm not sure why she thinks I like fish so much.  The only thing I could figure is because when I make fish at home, she is so traumatized by me trying to get her to eat it.  She hates it so much.  

I think Georgia thought they were asking her questions about herself:

Although she did get the age right.  Still makes me a teen mom, but I'll take 26!  

I can't believe I only get one more year of this.  Lana has graduation from preschool tomorrow, so that sobbing you hear coming from the direction of Los Angeles around 1pm?  That will be me.  

Word To The Mothers

Since Mother's Day is this Sunday, I thought I'd take this post to acknowledge and say thank you to some of the moms I know.  These are moms who have helped me in my quest to be a better mom to my girls.  I am so grateful and blessed to have all of you in my life.


A big Happy Mother's Day and thank you:


First and foremost to my sisters Beth, and Megan.  Without you two I would have gone insane six years ago.  I love that we all have kids close in age, even if we are not close geographically.  I know I can pick up the phone to call one or both of you for help, advice, or more importantly, just to bitch.  Never underestimate the power of a good ol' bitch session.  We don't.  You two are my Xanax.  I feel like we've always been close, but sharing the experience of motherhood has bonded us even more.  I love you both!


To my sister-in-law Brenda. From being the oldest in our family, to having younger sisters with the same name, to marrying a Dadekian boy, you and I have much in common.  I know I can always count on you when I need something.  I lucked out when you married into the family, and you are an amazing working mom.  You really make doing it all look so easy.


To my mother-in-law, Julia.  Thank you for doing a fantastic job as a mom to your boys.  Your hard work has given me a husband who is a phenomenal father to our girls.  Thank you also for not being one of those mother-in-laws who constantly sticks her nose in our business.  You give us our space, but are always helpful and there when we need you.  I love our girl chats when you come to visit.


To my Aunt Robin, Cousin Donna, and Cousin Michelle.  You three have been through some hard times as a  mom.  Donna I know this last year has been worse for you than anyone.  You've all always come out stronger on the other side with experience to share with other moms.  Donna,  this will be a hard Mother's Day for you, but please know I am thinking of you.  I love you all!


To my friends Carey and Laurie.  Our girls are the reason why I know you, but I consider you both friends of mine now.  I would never turn down a chance for coffee (or wine) and a gab session with you ladies. Your girls are great kids. They are the kind of kids I like for my girls to be friends with.  I always love trading play times with both of you.


To my first real mom friend, Stacy.  I didn't know any other moms when I had Sonya.  It took me until she was ten months old to find a great friend with a baby the same age, even if they were different sexes.  At first it didn't matter, I thought for sure it eventually would, but it still doesn't.  It's so nice that Carter and Sonya have the kind of friendship that goes past Barbies and Transformers.  Thanks for always being there when I needed someone to watch the girls when I was pregnant (both times!).  I'm especially thankful that you moved back to Burbank so we can hang out again.  I forgot how much I missed you!


To one of my BFFs BethAnnDoddKoehn.  Even though we might not have been as close for a while after high school, I love that having kids has brought us together again.  (Hmm-did that sound a little gay?) You are so important to me because you are my people.  We get each other when most people don't.  Thank you for moving back to California.  Texas was so not the way to go.


To my BFF Melissa.  I was so excited when you had Kennedy last year.  It meant you got to experience everything I had for the past  six years.  It meant I got to hold a baby again.  It meant that you got it now.  You got what I had been bragging/bitching about for forever.  You've been one of my best friends for so long and I'm glad this is another part of our friendship we can share.  Now, have another one so you can REALLY get it!


To my college friend Trista.  I was happy when you had Eben last year for the same reasons.  Because you get it now too.  I always said you needed to have kids, and I'm so glad you decided to.  Eben is an awesome baby.  (Minus the 4am screaming session at my house.  It's okay, we've all been there.) We need more moms like you in the world, because you will raise him without all that crazy "helicopter parent" nonsense.  He will be a strong, smart, great kid.  I have no doubt.   Now, you have another one too!


To my friend Ann.  Thank you for letting Andy and me practice having kids, with your kids.  I will never forget holding Jack as a newborn and then two weeks later getting pregnant with Sonya.  It's like holding him put my uterus in prep mode.  I am always amazed by how you balance the amount of work you do and still find a way to give so much to your kids.  Do you sleep?  Ever?


To my friend Melinda and my oldest friend Kelly.  And by oldest I don't mean in age, but in friendship years.  We've been friends for 32 years.  Crazy!  Anyway-I know you two don't have your own kids, but you are Godmother to two of my girls.  (Melissa is Sonya's but I already mentioned her on here.)  Thank you for making  Lana and GG feel extra special.  They can all tell you who their Godmother is.  Even though your are far away Kelly, Lana asks about you all that time.  Thank you both for always being there for me and my girls.


This one might seem odd to some of you but- to Heather at dooce.com.  Some of you hear me talk about her as "the girl whose blog I read".  I stumbled across her blog before I had Sonya and am always thankful I did.  Her blog got me through my first year of motherhood before my sisters or any of my friends had kids.  It was during a time when I had a very screamy baby, family far across the country and days of feeling very alone in this job.  Her writing about  similar experiences with her baby is what helped get me through.  I knew I wasn't alone and I didn't have the only baby that liked to scream.  A LOT.  I thank her for her sharing her life as a mother to help those of us who needed it.  Even though I don't know her personally at all, I feel like she is a friend because of how much she's helped me and how I relate to her.  She was a big inspiration for this blog.   Her website is great and still one I read on a regular basis.  Check it out if you get a chance.


To all my mom readers, which is probably most of you.  I've known some of you for a lot of my life,  and some of you I don't know at all.  Thank you for coming to this blog, reading and supporting me.  I hope I have helped you in some small way, as Heather helped me, even if it's for a smile or a laugh that you needed that day.  I started this blog mostly for me, but have found that when I get a compliment in the comments or in person, I feel like I did when I used to perform.  It's helped give me an identity past just being "mom", even though I write about being a mom.  Irony?  Hmmmm.... Just remember, this is a tough job for anyone, but the benefits are the best you'll ever get.


And lastly, but certainly not the least, in fact the most important -MY mom, Ann.  You know how you always used to say, "just wait until you have your own kids someday!"  Well, here we are.  I get it.  I do.  Trust me, every day I get it more. Some days I shock myself when I hear my voice channeling you.  Even my shout of  "GIIIRRLLSSS!!" reminds me of being a kid.  Funny how history repeats itself.  You taught me everything I know about being a mom, and I have always said and will always say what a great mom you are.   I can only hope I'm doing as good a job.  You have been loving, caring, and supportive.  Yes, we've had our fights through the years, but you never gave up on me.  Even when I did something you vehemently disagreed with.  I thank you for that.  I always found a way out of my mistakes because I had a good guidance from the beginning.  I know the time will eventually come when I will have to let my girls make their own mistakes too.  However, I am going to cherish this time when I can still tell them what to do with a "because I'm the mom and I said so" explanation.  There are things that we still don't see eye to eye on and probably never will, but I hope the one thing we can agree on is what an outstanding job you did as a mom.  You raised three independent, strong, smart women who are doing a not so bad job as mothers themselves.  (If I do say so myself.)  Thank you for always being there whenever we need you, even to fly across the country for a weekend to watch your grand kids.  I love you!  Happy Mother's Day, Mommy.


Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms out there!  Now hand the kids to your husband/partner/babysitter and go do something fun like getting your nails done.  May I recommend the gel nails?

Mommy and Me

I've been anticipating writing this entry for almost a year now. I'm not kidding. I didn't start this blog until after Mother's Day last year. After the nice Father's Day one I wrote last year, I figured I better make the Mother's day one just as good, if not better. So here it goes.

I've always wanted to be a mom. For as far back as I can remember all I've ever wanted to be is a mom. I know that's not a hip thing to want these days, but oh well. I think most people either want or don't want kids, based on their own childhood and what kind of parents they had. I mean I know that's a general statement, and sure there are people out there with great parents, who want nothing to do with kids and vise versa. I, however, am one of those girls who had a great mom and therefore wanted to be one. I'd say that proves to be true since both my sisters wanted kids just as much as I did, so I suppose my mom was doing something right.

My mom LOVES kids. She is a teacher and most of her career has taught either kindergarten or first grade. This love of children made her a great mom. She was always more than patient with us, and taught us all the important things a kid should know. Like when to say please, thank you and I'm sorry, as well as how to make chocolate chip cookies. She was always extra loving and compassionate when we were sick. She put up with our constant fighting, and dealt with our surplus of whining. As my kids have gotten older I hear myself channeling phrases of hers from yesteryear. Things like, "you're the oldest and have to set the example", "in or out!", the popular "because I said so, that's why" and especially, "GIIIIRRRLLSSS! WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING ABOUT NOW??!!", come out of my mouth on a regular basis. I'm sure wine played a role in some of my mom's evenings as it does in mine.

When we hit our teen years, things became a little more, um... tumultuous. My mom was never the typical teenager herself, so she wasn't quite sure what to do with my sisters and me. Truth be told, I was not a terrible teen, as far as bad teens go. I never got into drugs and I think I drank maybe a half a wine cooler on my graduation night. Okay, so I did have sex at 17 with my high school boyfriend, but at least I was smart enough to put myself on the pill beforehand. There was no way I was getting pregnant that young. He was my first love too and not some random guy who was just trying to get me to give it up to him. I wasn't completely stupid.

I did, however, do some serious bitchy talking back, which was our biggest problem. Hey, I was hormonal. I guess the sex thing was a sore spot too, but still I'd say I was pretty tame when you get right down to it. I know friends who did a hell of a lot worse and put their parents through more crap than they care to admit. My sisters weren't terrible either. Beth wasn't anyway. Megan-well, she was worse than me, but my parents were seasoned at that point, so not as shell shocked. Still, we were girls so I think it was just worse in general. Girls are ca-razy, as my husband has pointed out more than once. There was something I heard on the new TV show, Parenthood, last week. Three of the mom characters were talking about their daughters. Two of them had teens and one had a younger daughter, but they were all discussing the problems they were having with each of their girls. Then one of the characters said,

"You know what the problem is with Mothers? Daughters." How true is that?? I mean I understand it from BOTH sides now.

Since I've been an adult, my relationship with my mom has had it's ups and downs, but we've managed to become pretty good friends. I know she doesn't always agree with the choices I've made in my life, or ways I choose to live it, but I think she's gotten to a place where she has learned to let it go...for the most part. We've gotten in our fights, but we always manage to get back to a place of common ground. It's her own fault, in a way. She's the one who always told us she gave us "roots and wings". The roots were our foundation as kids to have a basis on which to grow, and the wings were to spread and go out into the world to be on our own. I've only put into practice what she taught me. I've learned to fully extend my wings, while keeping my roots strongly planted. Plus now I have three kids, who she adores, so that alone pushes me up a few notches in the mom book, no matter what I do.

So, I suppose on this Mother's Day I want her to know what great job I think she did with my sisters and me. Like I said, we all couldn't wait to start our own families and we all seem to be doing a pretty good job being moms ourselves. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but TOOT! The fact of the matter is she was and is the inspiration for me, and I'm pretty sure both my sisters. If she wouldn't have been such a great mom, I'm certain I wouldn't be where I am today, as a mother or as an adult.

Thank you for kissing all my boo-boos, wiping all my tears and still giving me love, even when I said I didn't like you so much. Thank you for helping me take care of each of my girls after they were born and scrubbing my kitchen floor. Thank you for teaching me how to cook and even how to clean. I understand how much you love me and how incredibly unconditional that love is. It was something I didn't quite understand until I became a mother myself, but I do now. I totally get it. All of it. This is a damn hard job and you made it look so easy I had three of 'em! If I can be half as great a mom to my three girls as you were to us, I know they will become three amazing women someday, that's if we all survive their teen years.

Just know, no matter what, how much I appreciate you. Thank you mommy. Thank you for all that you did and all that you continue to do. I love you more than you know! Happy Mother's Day.