Fact or FIC-SHUN?

A couple weeks ago, Georgia celebrated her seventh birthday.  This time in our nation's capitol of Washington D.C.  That child has not had a birthday at home for the past 3 years.  The pitfalls of having a summer birthday.  She doesn't seem to care though. In fact I think she likes being on vacation for her birthday.  Really- who wouldn't?

Let me just reiterate the fact that she is SEVEN.  You guys-I have been pregnant free for over seven years now!  Yay!  Although in all honesty, I am sad about that fact as well.  However, having older kids does have it's benefits, like being able to travel much easier and having three slaves capable children to do my bidding.  You know like oil changes and plumbing repair.  Okay fine!  Just unloading the dishwasher and making their beds, but still, at least it's less for me to do.  

Georgia has grown up so much in this past year.  She looks more like a little girl now than a kindergarten baby of last year.  She reads like crazy and she can do so much for herself now.  Although she still won't walk to my bedroom in the middle of the day.  You know we have monsters in our hallway that like to eat little kids.  Did I not tell you that?  Yes, if a child under 10 walks down our hall alone, the monsters will get you.   At least this is what I'm fairly certain Georgia thinks.  She is also getting better with the lying.  Well, let me rephrase that.  She is getting better with telling us when she is lying or telling us a FIC-SHUN story.  No, no.  I didn't misspell that.  That is how she says it.  "This story is FIC-SHUN!!"  That is something I started making her say to us about a year ago when we realized she was making up stories that sounded very real but in fact were not.  One of these stories led me to talking to her teacher, when she claimed she was having problems with a boy at school and told a entire story about him that was not true.  So now when she starts to tell a story that sounds like it might be a tad outlandish I give her a look and she will say-"Oh!  This is a FIC-SHUN story!"  Her sisters will even call her on it when they feel like it's being made up asking her, "Georgia is this a FIC-SHUN story?"  The good news is she always cops to it and while she still makes things up, she at least lets us know she is doing so.  

Regardless of all that, she will still start off with a lie now and then.  Especially when she feels like it will make her sound or look better than another person, usually her sister.  The last week of school was more or less nothing but fun times for them, as it always is in elementary school.  Lana was telling me about all the fun things her teacher had planned for the week and Georgia was standing there listening.  Now I don't know why this is the favorite fun thing for them to do at school but it is,  wear their pajamas one day.  Georgia and Lana love doing this.  Lana's teacher had planned a PJ day, but Georgia's teacher had not, even though they had other fun things planned that week.  The fact that Georgia was not getting to wear her pajamas, made her a bit jealous of Lana.   I wasn't surprised at her response to Lana telling me,

"We get to have pajama day on Tuesday!! I'm so excited!"

Georgia looked at Lana and said, "Yeah well my teacher said we get to wear our pajamas watch a movie, have popcorn AND pizza!"  

Now I don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty kick ass day in first grade.  I also know that about 75% of what she said was completely untrue.  Even though she said this to Lana, I was sitting at the counter in the kitchen and heard every word.  She looked over at me, caught me starting at her and before I even had a chance to open my mouth she said, 

"I just made all that up."  

All I could do was laugh.  So far I think I have curbed the lying without squelching her imagination.  Point in the mommy column!  I only hope that when she's 16 she continues to tell me when it's a FIC-SHUN story or that she made something up.  You know -like this...

"I'm spending the night at Luna's.  Okay no.  That's FIC-SHUN, I'm really going to a party over at the abandoned where house where there will be lots of drinking."

That's totally plausible right?  

In the meantime, I will enjoy this win and wish my beautiful last baby a Happy (belated) 7th Birthday.  You are the sunshine in our mornings and the laughter throughout our days, and I promise that is not FIC-SHUN!

Tell Me Lies-Or Maybe Not

A while back I told you all how Georgia was starting to lie a bit.  Well, I'd love to tell you that is all better now.  Nothing but honesty here!  But that would be a lie.  In fact she's gotten so much worse.  She lies about things that I can find out about right away.

Me- "Did you make your bed?"
Georgia- "Yup!"
Me- "Let me just go check."
Georgia- "Oh wait!  I'm going to make it  now!"

Sometimes she will recant the lie right away:

Me-"Did you make your bed?"
Georgia- "Yup! No! I'll be right back."

Then there are the lies she thinks I won't ever find out about.  The stories she tells her friends at school.  About a month ago I was at the school for one of the 40 reasons I'm there every week.  It happened to be during her recess time and I found her on the playground among her friends playing.  I waved to her and she and all of her friends ran over to hug me.  I know a lot of them from helping out every week last year in Kindergarten, so you  know, I'm kinda popular with the first graders now.  Don't be jealous.  Anyway, as I'm standing there giving everyone hugs her friend Katie says to me,

"Can I come over to your house and see the turtles sometime?"

Not now, nor have we ever had turtles in our house.  I immediately looked at Georgia whose eyes had gotten as big as saucers.  She looked at Katie white faced and said,

"Ummm..Yeah...I was just joking about that.  We don't have any turtles."

I let it go in the moment, not wanting to embarrass her in front of her friends further, but later that evening Andy and I had to sit her down and talk to her about not lying to her friends.  Especially about things they can come over to your house and find out about.  I mean really Georgia! Tell them your grandparents in Florida have turtles.  How will they ever know?  

Then there are the lies she tells because from what I can tell she is trying to feel important like her sisters.  From time to time, Sonya will come home with a problem at school.  Sometimes it's with another kid in her class.  She will tell Andy and me what is going on and then we give her advice that she usually follows and she tells us how it works out.  Georgia has been around for these stories, so I suppose she wanted a piece of the action.  

One night we were sitting at dinner and she tells me about the little boy who sits next to her in class.  Apparently, he bothers her from time to time and says things about Lana to her.  Why Lana? I don't know, but according to Lana that part is true because she has heard it.  I told her to talk to her teacher about it, because if he's really bothering her during class and affecting her learning then that's a problem.  She told me okay.  The next night we are sitting at the dinner table and she says to me,

"So! I talked to Mrs. Shah about Sebastian today."

"Oh good!" I said. "What did she tell you?"

"She said I should just put my hand up like this when he says stuff to ignore him." She shows me how she has her hand covering the left side of her face to shield her eyes from the boy sitting next to her.

"Oookkkaaayyy," I said.  "Did she say she was going to talk to him?" I asked.

"Ummm, I think so," she decided.  

I thought it sounded kind of odd, but she seemed satisfied with her results, so I congratulated her on taking control of her problems like Sonya does and she was happy.  

The next day I was in the school (I swear I should be getting paid for some of this) and Georgia's teacher walked into the room I was working in.  I said hello to her and then said,

"Georgia told me she talked to you about Sebastian yesterday."

Mrs. Shah gave me a quizzical look and then said, "Huh, I'm not remembering this."

"Oh it wasn't a big deal, she just said he was bothering her sometimes and you told her to put her hand up and ignore him." I said trying to jog her memory.  Then I realized she didn't have this memory because it NEVER HAPPENED.

"Well, I don't remember that, but that doesn't mean anything.  Let me talk to her and find out," she said.

At this point I knew I had caught Georgia in another lie.

"No, actually, don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure she didn't say anything to you.  She has been having a bit of a lying problem lately.  I will find out what's going on.  Thanks though." I told her a tad embarrassed.

That night I confronted Georgia, and at first she refused to talk to me about it.  Then when she realized she was caught, she cried and cried.  I comforted her and assured her that I still loved her, but that she can't lie like that and then I gave her a punishment.  I had to.  I mean that was a big lie where I ended up looking like an asshole because I talked to the teacher about something that never even happened. She ended up having to do extra chores that night.  In all honesty on my part, I'm not sure that even worked.  I have caught her in other little lies and now when she tells us things that are going on at school I'm skeptical.  The problem is she is GOOD at it.  She completely makes you believe her, because I think she convinces herself.  I know she only wanted to feel important when she told the lie about the kid at school.  Like she had some kind of problem she needed help with like her sister.  I mean I'm not fine with her lying but it makes sense.  What scares me more than anything though is the thought that, if she is that good at lying at six, how skilled will she be at sixteen?  Why?  Why does the Universe hate me?  

Pretty Little Liar

Lately, I’ve been having a problem with Georgia I’m not sure how to address.  It’s not a huge deal right now, but I’m afraid if I don’t do something about it now it’s going to be so much worse in about ten years.  She’s been lying.  

Here’s the thing though, she lies about things that don’t even matter.  She makes up things about other kids at school or her teacher.  Two weeks ago she told me that she played the game Clue at school and she was on her teacher’s team.  I thought that seemed odd, playing Clue in Kindergarten.  She eventually told me she had made it up.  Then there are the times she lies because she knows she’s going to get in trouble.  

“Georgia, who drew on the rug?”

“I don’t know,” she said and shrugged her shoulders.  

I knew it had to have been her, partially because she has been writing on other things she's not supposed to and partially because she was the only one home besides me.  However,  it took me almost ten minutes to get her to admit it.  By the end she was upset and in tears fearful of what punishment was to come.

I think the biggest problem is that she lies seamlessly.  She doesn’t bat an eye and completely believes the lie she is telling.  I know there are kids who go through this, but I haven’t had one yet.  Sonya wouldn’t be able to lie if her life depended on it and Lana sees no point.  She will just tell you the truth whether you like it or not, no matter if she gets in trouble.  She will tell you flat out that she punched her sister in the stomach. Georgia, however,  hates getting in trouble and has learned a way to make everyone believe her lie, including herself.  

You can see why this kind of behavior will worry me in years to come.  So I ask you out there in Internet land-have any of you had to deal with this with your kids?  What do you do?  I feel like punishing her when she eventually does tell me the truth will just push her into never telling me the truth again.  Why should she when she knows at the end she will  be punished?  Then again, I don’t want her to think it’s okay to lie to me to begin with.  Yup-I’m at a loss.  Anyone out there with any ideas, feel free to throw them this way.