Showing posts with label graduation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label graduation. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Milestone #56-The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Two weeks ago Sonya, my oldest, graduated from 5th grade.  Ok, I know- graduated -is a strong word at this age.  I guess she promoted out of the 5th grade and elementary school.  I suppose we have gotten a bit carried away with all of the pomp and circumstance, of celebrating every age of kids achieving something.  Sure graduating from high school is a big deal, but now we celebrate preschool, end of elementary and end of middle school.  I don't remember that ever happening when I was a kid.  That being said, they did have a nice little ceremony for the "graduating" 5th graders, and yes I cried.  Would you expect anything else?

It wasn't that long ago that I remember walking her into Kindergarten on the first day of school, just six years ago.  In fact it was so not long ago that I wrote it about it here.  Yet, here we are just a few short school years later celebrating the fact that she is done with elementary school and will soon be taking on a new much scarier challenge, middle school.  (Dun dun DUN!!!)

The ceremony at her school for her 5th grade promotion was full  the kids singing songs and reminiscing about their days at their elementary school aloud to the auditorium full of weepy parents.  It was all scripted, well choreographed and quite entertaining.  In all honesty, I was prepared to be bored in our hot un-airconditioned auditorium for two hours, with my only reward at the end a chocolate chip cookie from Portos.  Which if you know anything about Portos is a pretty damn good reward, but still, TWO HOURS.  I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly it moved along and how fun it was to reminisce along with the kids and listen to their songs.  Of course they called each child up to receive their "diploma", which may have been the most boring part except when Sonya got hers naturally.  There was one song they sang in particular that made me tear up and the slide show they presented choked me up as well.  However, it was the last thing they did that had me close to sobs. 

Every year a certain number of 5th grade students receive the Presidential Academic Award.  This is an Award that out of Sonya's class of 130 students only 23 achieved.  Sonya was the second name called to the stage.  I tried to take a picture or two, but it's hard to keep a camera steady when you are muffling sobs.  I was so proud of her.  This little girl who Andy and I struggled with whether to send  to school at 4 years old, not only did well throughout her six years in elementary, but did extremely well. So well she got a signed (stamped) letter from The President. This little girl who was almost a year younger than some of her best friends, kept up with them and in most cases surpassed them academically.  This little girl, who I realized as she stood on that stage accepting her award, was not such a little girl anymore.  

How did this happen??  I feel sometimes like I missed it, but then I know I didn't because I can still recall every project I helped her with, and every friend she told me about.  I was there for the struggles of homework, the joys of doing well on a test,  and the problems with other kids from time to time.  Then there were the panic attacks she had last year, when she struggled with learning about the human body and worrying about her own mortality.  She has always come to me or Andy and talked to us about school or friends or whatever problem she was having.  In some ways I feel like emotionally she hasn't been ready for every grade, but she's always managed to come through with flying colors.  Now as she heads to middle school this fall, (or later this summer I should say), I worry that the little girl who is not so little anymore, will start to become distant from us.  We might not get to help with every project or hear about every friend.  She might shut us out if there is a girl being mean or she can't handle a certain subject.  I know this, because I know this is what every tween-teenage girl does, including myself at that age.  And this my friends, this is what makes me cry the most.  

Years ago, when I started this blog, I could have paid for college if I had a dollar for the number of moms who came up to me telling me, "enjoy them  now because it goes so fast!" Some of them much older and by themselves, some of them with a bored teenager standing close by rolling her eyes at her mom talking to a stranger.   I remember at the time, when I was housebound 90% of my life thinking-"it's not going fast enough lady!"  Now I find myself in Target or the grocery store alone and seeing younger moms with babies and toddlers struggling to get just one errand done, and I have to resist that same  urge to run to them and tell them the same things so many woman said to me just six years ago.  

It does go fast.  Way too fast and I know that now.  I still have some time to go with all of my girls before they leave us physically, but I am well aware of how I'm going to blink and Sonya will be graduating for real.  From High School.  So even though the summer sometimes drives me crazy what with having to drag them to Target and the grocery store, while refereeing multiple fights throughout the day, I will do everything I can to hold on to these days and have as much fun with them as I can, while they will still let me.  I know soon enough they will be trading time with me for time with friends, and (gulp) boys.  Then I will be left to sit in a dark room listening to "Cats in the Cradle" on repeat.  Hmmm...Is 41 to old to have my husband reverse his Vasectomy and have another baby??

In all seriousness, I am so proud of the daughter we have raised thus far.  I know she will continue to grow into a strong, smart, fun, sweet young woman.  Whether she talks to me or not.  



Friday, May 31, 2013

It IS So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

So this happened today...



But you probably already know that because you heard that weird sobbing noise coming from the Burbank area.  Actually, I was doing okay for while.  They walked in to Pomp and Circumstance, and I was fine.  They sang their little preschool songs, I smiled.  Then, THEN!  The school decided to so something special.  A surprise for everyone.  They showed pictures of three little preschool kids who had already graduated from Westminster.  Just last week, they graduated from the high school down the street.  That's when I lost it.  Those three teenagers had been part of the awesome Glee Club at the high school and proceeded to sing a song for us.  I sobbed almost uncontrollably.  My babies are really not babies anymore.  I mean they are compared to those now ex-high school students, but not compared to where we were five years ago, when we first walked into this preschool.  

I will always be grateful for this fantastic place that I left my girls for three hours a couple days a week to learn, play and make friends in the first years of their life.  I will remember how Sonya cried every time I dropped her off for the first two months and how great her teachers were to get her through.  I will remember Lana not shedding one tear when I dropped her off, but hearing she was a little sad in the middle of the day at the beginning and Georgia, who never cried once.  She was so used to going when it was her turn, she couldn't wait.  I remember feeling relieved when Sonya first went, so I  only had two to focus on, if even for a few hours.  Then I remember how sad I was at the beginning of this school year when I dropped Georgia off and was left alone three days a week for three hours.  I cried a bit that first week.  Then I realized how much faster grocery shopping could get done, and I managed. 

I will always cherish the pictures that were made for Andy and me at school along with our Mother's Day and Father's Day gifts and cards.  I will always think about the ice cream social at the beginning of the year and the pot luck at the end.  Westminster Preschool has been such a huge part of our life for so long that it's going to be so hard for us, okay mostly me, to let go.  Not just because of the school, but the community around it, the friends we have all made and because it's the place where my babies grew into kids.  As I sat there today watching those teenagers sing, all I could think of was, "Mine are going to be that age in the blink of an eye.  How the hell do I slow this down?"  I guess I will just have to make sure I have a lot of pictures so I can always look back and remember when they were this little. 

Congratulations GG!  We are so proud of you!

Georgia with her besties from R-L
Jenna, Sienna, Kennedy, and Georgia-her hat kept falling

My camera crew.  Sonya had video, Lana took phone camera pics.

With Teacher Suzanne-she had Lana last year

With Teacher Carol-Georgia had her both years

The fam
The graduate and the Alumni

Friday, May 17, 2013

And Time Marches On

Some of you may be aware that this is Georgia's last year of preschool.  Which means this is the last time I will have a preschool kid, which means that next year I have ALL THREE kids in elementary school.  Now, two years ago I would have been celebrating this day to be here.  In fact I may have a countdown calendar around here somewhere.   Turns out though, I'm not as excited as I thought.  In fact, thinking about the fact that all three of my girls are getting so big has pushed all my emotions to the surface and I find myself crying very easily right now.  I teared up at a coffee commercial the other day.  Yes, I'm losing it a bit.  

This past Tuesday was our last Mommy and Me class.  This is a class I started taking Georgia to before preschool.  It's been a big part of our lives, but I never took the other two, so I didn't ever feel as much a connection as I do with the girls' preschool. This past Tuesday the class did a little graduation ceremony for all the kids.  It wasn't really a big deal in my mind.  She is going to have her preschool graduation at the end of this month and that's the one Andy will be there for. The cap and gown one. The big deal one.  This one was kinda just for fun as far, as I was concerned.  

They encouraged us to go up with our child and say a few words to them-how proud we are-you know, the usual.  So when it was Georgia's turn I walked up next to her and immediately started crying. I don't think I got two words out.  This made every other mom in the room cry, which only made me cry more.  I really thought I was going to keep it together, but I did not.  No, I looked like this instead:


How pretty am I with crying puffy eyes?  GG looks cute though.  I could barely get through what I wanted to say to her. Since I was this upset at a place I thought I didn't care that much about, I can't imagine how I'm going to be when she graduates from the preschool that we've been attached to for five years.  

I've always been sad when my girls have reached a milestone like this and moved on.  It's natural and I know that.  It's just harder with Georgia, because she is my last one.  It makes it hard, partially because she is growing up and getting bigger, but also because it is forcing me to move on past the baby/little kid phase of life.  For so many years I wanted to have babies and then I got to.  A little too much at once actually, but I handled it.   Then I blinked,  8 years went by and they are all in elementary school.  As it turns out I'm not dealing with it so well.  I'm not so sure Georgia is on board with moving on either, or it could be that she sees how upset I have been.  Tuesday evening she was acting kind of cranky and I sent her sisters off to the shower so I could talk to her alone and see what was up.  She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, 

"I don't want to leave you and go to Kindergarten."

Then my heart fell out of my body and onto the floor, I promised she never had to leave the house again and I would even by her a pony.  Okay, maybe I handled it better than that, but that's what I wanted to say.

I know eventually I will get better, and get used to this.  I will admit, there were talks about wanting  and possibly having another one, but we are so far from that stage now.  Still, it was a discussion Andy and I would have on and off.   Then a few weeks ago I was talking to my sister, Beth, about it and she put it into perspective for me.  

"You are only thinking about the next five years.  You're not thinking about the fact that having another one now would mean you are almost 60 before everyone leaves the house.  Do you really want that?"

I do not.  And she's right.  It is those first five years I crave.  I'm sure that even if I did have another one, in five years I'd feel like this again.  I just have to accept the fact that I have (almost) all school age kids and work with that.  I still have friends who will have babies and even though it's not the same as your own, sometimes it's better.  Because I can give them back and not get up at 2am and 4am and 6am.  THAT I do not miss.  

So I will take the time to grieve for the end of this chapter in my life.  The one that I was most looking forward to.  I'm sure there will be a lot of great things to come from my girls.  I can't wait to see what activities they really end up loving and how it will shape them into adulthood.  I am still not looking forward to the teen years, but I have some time left.  Not much, but some.  I will hold on to them liking me for as long as I can!  In the meantime, I will do my best to enjoy them now and in the moment.  In the grand scheme of things, they are all still little.  That won't stop me from going through a box of Kleenex at preschool graduation in two weeks though.  

My littlest big girl