When Tooth Fairies Forget

Sooo, I suck. Why you ask?  Because I forgot to play tooth fairy last night.  NOT good.


I think this is the fourth tooth Sonya's lost so far.  It has been a little wiggly for a few weeks now.  Then the other day she wiggled it to the point of extremely loose.  She asked me to see if it would come out on Wednesday, but it didn't seem quite ready yet.  Then last night after dinner, she asked again for me to try and pull it out.  It took a little more pulling than I like, but she was desperate to have that tooth out and it was ready enough.  The "magic tissue" did the trick and it popped out in my hand. She ran around the house just as excited as if it was the first one she had lost.  She showed her sisters and we called Andy at work.  Then she wrote her note to the tooth fairy, as she does every time, placed her tooth in the little tooth bear she has and placed it on her nightstand.  I also got to hear about how her friend Tyler, who is in her class at school, lost his tooth yesterday, and how cool was it she lost HERS the same day!  How cool indeed.  Little did I know that Tyler's lost tooth would help provide my alibi the next morning.  She went to bed happy and exited.


I'm not sure why I completely forgot about the tooth, I just did.  Maybe because the novelty of her losing a tooth has worn off.  Who knows?  I wasn't even drinking wine last night!  I swear!  Andy came home a bit late, so missed bedtime which made it so he didn't remember the tooth any more than I did.  I even checked on her before I went to bed last night, but for whatever reason, my eyes never looked to the nightstand where the tooth and note sat waiting.


This morning I woke up a bit later than usual.  Most of the time I try to get up by 6:15 so I can work out. All this week I haven't gone to bed until late and then woken up early.  That is why when my alarm went off at 6am and I realized I  hit the wall.  I couldn't do it.  My body wouldn't get out of bed, no matter how much my mind try to coax it, so I gave up and went back to sleep for another hour.  Then around 7:15 I heard in my sleepy state Sonya calling for me.


"What is it?" I called from my bed, still not ready to get out of it yet.


"Can you come here please?" She asked, sounding kind of sad.

"In a minute, girlie," I told her, trying to wake up.  Then out of nowhere it hit me.  SHIT!  I FORGOT ABOUT HER TOOTH!!!  I was awake.

Quickly, I formed a plan in my head.  My first thought was to tell her the tooth fairy must have been so busy she didn't have a chance to get to her.  No, that was no good. She would be upset, and I didn't want to deal with that.  Too much guilt.   Then I had it!  I found a piece of paper and a random crayon on top of my nightstand.  I scribbled a quick little note.  Then I went to our change container in the closet, where I had a one dollar bill and a couple quarters.  I wrapped them inside the note and headed to her room.

"What's up Sonya?" She had her back to me, so I quickly placed the note and money next to the nightstand.  

She was already crying.  Shit, shit, shit! 

"Tooth Fairy didn't come last night!" She said through her tears.

"Really?" I said feigning surprise, "that's so weird.  Are you sure?  Let's look around."

Then I bent down next to her nightstand and picked up the folded note and money. 

"Wait, what's this?" I said.

"What?" She asked, looking over the bed to me on the floor.  I opened up the note and place it with the money on the bed next to her.  She read the note, and immediately broke out into a smile.  

"Well, that's strange," I told Sonya.  "She left you money and a little note but forgot to take your tooth."

"Yeah, that is weird," she agreed.


"You know what?" I told her, spinning my story.  "She was probably so busy last night, she just completely forgot it on her way out.  I mean your friend Tyler lost his tooth too, and I'm sure there were other kids she had to go to last night.  It was probably a crazy night for her.  You know how that happens sometimes to mommy and she forgets things."  

Luckily, she bought it.  "Yeah.  Like when you go to the grocery store and are in a rush and then we get to the car and you say 'crap, I forgot something'."

"Yeah, just like that," I said.  "But let's not say crap."


Then I said to her,  "I think we should leave your tooth here.  She probably realizes she forgot it and will most likely come back to get it tonight, don't you think?"

"Oh yeah," she agreed.  "Then she can answer the questions I asked her on my note too."

"Yeah I'm sure she'll have more time for that tonight, but at least she left you something last night," I said.

"It's a good thing too," she started to tell me. "Because  everyone at school knew my tooth was loose and if they saw I lost it they would have asked me what I got from the tooth fairy.  I was afraid I was going have to tell them nothing."

Hold on a second while I pick my heart up off the floor.

"Plus!" She said.  "Usually I only get a dollar and this time she gave me a dollar fifty!"

Oops.  I had forgotten how much we give her.  I think the extra 50 cents was for my guilty conscience.  

"Well, maybe she left you a bit more this time, since she was in such a rush and couldn't answer your note last night," I offered.

"Yeah that's probably it," she agreed.

Great!  I almost created the most dramatic thing to happen to my daughter to date.  Going to school and telling her friends the tooth fairy didn't come.  What kind of mother am I?  I know there has to be others of you out there who have done this a time or two.  In fact, I'm almost positive it happened to my sister Beth, so perhaps it's genetic and I just got it from my mom.  If I remember correctly though, she covered much like I did.  

Sooo...yeah...I suck.  BUT at least I made up for it and suck a little less now.  

Brain Fart

Last week I had an appointment at the DMV to have my licence renewed.  It expires next month on my birthday when I turn 29-again.  I made the appointment purposely for last week, because my in-laws were in town and that meant free unlimited babysitting.  This was the DMV, and even though I had an appointment, who knew how long it would take.  Although I did have people tell me that making an appointment was the way to go.  Still, I was skeptical.


I arrived for my appointment EARLY.  This in of itself is good for me, because I am usually late to everything.  It's hard to be early or even on time for things when you have three extra people to get ready and tag along with you.  When I don't have to take them with me or get them ready to go somewhere, I can actually be punctual.  


I walked in and filled out my paperwork.  Within five minutes I was called to a window to start processing my renewal.  This was taking no time at all.  The appointment WAS the way to go!  I would be out of there in 15 minutes and have plenty of time to run other errands!  I love the DMV!


The lady behind the counter asked me for my paperwork, my current license and my $31.  Crap. I forgot about the $31.  They didn't take credit cards, I had $5 short of the $31 I needed in cash and I didn't have my checkbook on me.  Who carries THOSE around anymore?  They did however take debit cards.  Oh good!  Well I have one of those!  Now this is where I had one of those ideas run through my head for some unknown reason that proved itself to be true.  That thought was "what if I forgot my pin number".  Then my brain had a malfunction meltdown, that wiped away that pin number I'd had in my head for TEN YEARS.


I gave the lady my debit card, she ran it and handed me the keypad to punch my number in and at first I drew a blank.  Then I remembered the first two numbers, but the second two eluded me.  I tried three times and kept getting denied.  I felt my cheeks start to get hot and flushed as I stood there feeling like an idiot.  My heart started pounding in my ears and I started to go into panic mode.  The lady behind the counter looked at me like I was an idiot.  She seemed a bit annoyed, which I guess is how most DMV workers seem anyway, but this, I'm sure, was not making her day. Then she told me,


"Go and see if you can figure it out.  I have a line forming behind you."


I went to my car and sat there trying to recall the numbers.  Why could I not remember? A couple of numbers popped in my head but where the RIGHT numbers?  I went back inside to try.  No they were not.  Part of the problem was the pin number I have is not one that is special to me.  They are just four random numbers Wells Fargo gave me when I first got the card.  I planned on changing it to something that did mean something to me in the beginning, but then I memorized those four so I left it alone.  Now I was wishing the numbers were my birth date.  At least THAT I could remember.  Even if the year I was born gets a little confusing sometimes.  


I left again and desperately searched for $5 in my car, but all I could find was a buck fifty in quarters.  Perhaps I could beg for $5 on the street.  I was in Hollywood after all.  It probably wouldn't take me to long to acquire that much.  I refused to give up and go home.  I had an appointment dammit!  I couldn't just leave and come back another day.  My free unlimited babysitting would be gone by the next week.  I had to figure something out.


I decided to drive to the nearest ATM.  Perhaps if I was actually in front of the machine my pin would come back to me more easily.  I found one in a liquor store down the street.  Which was perfect.  I mean if my pin didn't come back to me, then what better place to beg for money?  Or perhaps turn a $5 trick.  I decided to try the ATM first.  


I tried four different numbers, all wrong.  Then that ATM shut me out.  I decided to call Andy to see if he knew the pin number to our credit card.  Then I could get money off of that.   Of course he wanted to know why I was asking and I had to explain to him my situation.  His response wasn't surprising.  He laughed.  For a while.  Why did I call him?  When he stopped laughing, he told me to try and calm down and relax and the number would come back to me.  Only too bad for me, because I had myself in such a tizzy that not even a Burke Williams massage could have calm me down.  


Then I called Wells Fargo.  Surely they could help me.  Yeah, except they're not so keen on giving out pin numbers over the phone.  I suppose that's good MOST of the time, but not this time.  The woman did tell me that I could go to the nearest Wells Fargo and reset my pin number in the bank.  I decided that would be my last resort.  I remembered, from when I used to work in Hollywood, that there was a Wells Fargo nearby.  I could go there, try the ATM one last time and if it didn't come to me, I would go change the pin.  Hopefully I could still get back to the DMV


I drove down to Sunset and Vine where the Wells Fargo is.  Or was.  It was no longer there.


W. T. F.???


Instead I went to the Bank of America next door to try the ATM one last time.  I didn't care that they wanted to charge me $3 to use it.  If I could get my money, it would be worth it.


On the drive over, two more numbers had popped in my head.  I was sure one of them had to be it.  Although, I had been sure of a few others that hadn't worked.  My brain couldn't really be trusted right now.  It was freezing me out.


I walked up to the machine and punched in the first number in my head.  Nope.  Then I tried the second one.  The machine was taking a little longer this time.  Then came the sweet sound of money being dispensed.  FINALLY!  I remembered it!  Wait, what was it again?  No, I got it I got it.  And I got my $20 I needed to make up the difference of the cash I already had.


Now, I just hoped the lady, who had become annoyed with my memory lapse at the DMV, would be okay with me coming back 45 minutes later.  I walked back in and waited in line at her window for about five minutes. When it was my turn I walked up holding $31 in cash and said to her,


"I brought cash this time."


She burst into laughter and I knew she wasn't going to turn me away.  I think this time I did make her day.  I finished up my renewal in ten minutes.  When all was said and done I spent over an hour and a half getting my licenced renewed when it would have taken me 15, 20 minutes tops.


I don't think I've ever been so mad at myself and my malfunctioning brain.  I suppose I could blame my weekly wine consumption for killing those memory cells too.   I have to say though having kids helps you to find a way to get something done no matter what.  If this would have happened before kids, I would have just given up, gone home and rescheduled for another day.  That was not an option for me, so I knew I had to do something then and there.


So if you have to go to the DMV in California, I highly suggest you make an appointment.  You really will get in and out of there in no time.  However, make sure you have plenty of cash.  You know, just in case.