Soon To Appear At The Laugh Factory

Having three kids means one is always behaving less than perfect.  It's a rotation of who is being the pain in the ass though.  Sometimes it's Sonya with her backtalk and eye rolls.  Other times the colossal Lana tantrums are what bring me down.  Lately though it's been my sweet little Georgia peach who has been driving me bonkers.  I'm not exactly sure why this is.  Could be the whole -little sister  not getting enough attention thing.  All I know is she is having a hard time making the right choices and listening lately.  Once you get to the third one you just kinda don't feel like it anymore.  I know, I know, I'm a terrible mom, but I can't help it.  The energy to deal is just gone.  The thing about Georgia though, is no matter how bad she is acting or what she is doing that is not right, she is always the one who is trying to be the comedian.  I'm beginning to realize that is what makes it harder for me to discipline her.  Don't worry, I've been coming down on her lately and trying to get her back in line.  I'm not completely letting it go.  However if your little one was saying some of these things to you, you might have a hard time keeping the punishments going too.  Here are just some of the things I've written down that she's said to me over the past few months.

While playing outside one day last month, Andy noticed Georgia only had socks and not shoes on.  So Andy asked,

"Georgia-where are your shoes?"

Georgia looked down at her feet like she was just as surprised as he was and said, "Not on my feet!"


Continuing in the shoe category...

One day she came home from school and took off the tights she was wearing and said to me,

"Ahhh!  It feels so great for my feet to be back!"

Looks like confined feet are just not her thing.


We were doing homework one night and I was helping her.  Her class is learning how to tell time and she needed help to figure out where to put the hands to make it 7:00 on the empty clock face picture.  She had the little hand in the right place.

"Well the little hand is on the seven, that's right, good job.  Now where does the big hand go?"

She thought for a minute and then got excited and shouted, "At the o'clock!!"

I mean, can I really say she's wrong?

Not to long after Christmas was over, but after the decorations were put away, she came to me one afternoon and out of the blue asked,

"Mommy, does Santa die?"

These are the questions that you have to think carefully about before you answer them.   The standard answer of,

"No, he's magic," is really the only way to handle this delicate situation.

She responded with, "Ok! Phew!" 

Who knows how long that one was weighing on her mind?

We are not a particularly religious family.  We go to church at Christmas and Easter, and if the girls ask we will answer questions about God and religion.  We don't pray on a regular basis either, (much to my mother's dismay, no doubt).  However, every once in a while the girls will request to pray before dinner.  We always let them.  One night Lana made such a request, so she said her little prayer and then Georgia decided she wanted in on the action too.  This was her prayer,

"Dear God, Thank you for this food and our clothes.  Not everyone has clothes and food and that's sad because they are naked and starving.  Amen."

The kid does speak the truth.  Hope you are listening God.

The last one I wrote down happened most recently.  It was just over the weekend and it's a bit more of a story.  I've mentioned on here before how much like her father Georgia is with this sense of humor.  Along with the sense of humor my husband has, comes a very large amount of sarcasm.  This is something kids just don't get at a young age.  When you are sarcastic to them they don't always understand.  This has never stopped Andy from being sarcastic anyway.  Now that they are getting older they understand it more, but not always.  Hell there are times I still don't get when he's being sarcastic and pulling one over on me.  He's really good at it.  So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

On Sunday morning, after having an extremely busy Friday and Saturday, we were all dragging ourselves out of bed to get the day started.  I was in the kitchen getting the coffee ready and Georgia was sitting at the counter.  She started to cough a bit and sniffle, and so I asked,

"Are you sick?"

Now this was stupid on my part, because anytime you offer for something to be wrong with Georgia she will take it.  The more attention she can get, the better.  As soon as I said it, I knew my mistake and I knew she was feeling fine, but she immediately went into "woe is me" mode, and and said in a meek voice, "yes."

"I think I'm sick mom, (cough, cough, sniff, sniff)." She told me.

Then in my "I'm not buying your shit" voice, I said, "Oh I'm sure you will be fine.  If you're not, you won't be able to go to the birthday party today."

I didn't offer her any sympathy, which I know irritated her, but she wanted to go to the birthday party, so she decided not to push the act anymore.

About five minutes later, Lana came to me whimpering because she had hit her head on her bookcase.    I had yet to have my cup of coffee, and after going out with the moms the night before, really needed it before dealing with such complaints.  Although, let me be clear, she did not seem to be in pain and I have always been the type of mom who has leaned more toward the tough it out, shake it off side of things when the girls got hurt.  I was never one for babying them when they hurt themselves, unless something looked bad.  Usually it isn't.  As a result, I have some tough girls who barely ever cry when they get hurt. So when Lana came to me complaining about her bump I sorta blew her off too.

"Oookayy," I told her.  "You'll be fine, shake it off."  (I'm pretty certain Taylor Swift must have heard me saying that every day for the past 10 years.  Whatever Taylor!  Just send the royalty check to Burbank. )  She didn't even try to milk it anymore, just walked away rubbing her head.

Georgia had been in the kitchen with us when she heard me talking to Lana, as unsympathetically as I had been to her, and she said out loud to nobody in particular, but making sure I heard her,

"It's sooo nice to have a Mommy who takes such good care of us when we're sick or hurt."

It was one of those things you hear a few seconds after it was said.  And then it took me a few more seconds to register what it meant.  My brain did something like this-"that's so nice that Georgia would say that... but wait... I wasn't being nice and taking good care of them at all...so why would she..."

"Georgia?" She turned and looked at me.  "Were you just being sarcastic??" I asked.

"Yeah," she admitted.  And then I laughed, and laughed some more.  She started to laugh right along with me and then everyone else in the house wanted to know what on earth was so funny.

Georgia.  Georgia is what is so funny.  Right now, at this point in time of raising my girls,  she is the reason why I am ready to tear my hair out at the end of the day.  However, she is also the reason I laugh every day.  So please excuse me if I have a difficult time handing out punishments to her that make her upset.  I find it much more fun to laugh with her.

Pregnant Free For Four Years

Last Thursday was Georgia's fourth birthday.  I know, I know I'm behind.  I'm behind on all the holidays and birthdays lately.  Some days I feel like I'm barely keeping my face above water, but here I am still writing twice a week.  Better late than never, or better late than pregnant in my case.  I guess I shouldn't say that.  It's no secret and well documented on here that Georgia was a surprise baby.  A good surprise, after I got over the initial shock of being pregnant, despite the fact that I was taking care of an eight month old.   However, without Georgia our family would never have been complete.  Some higher power knew that.  


Georgia has always been easier than the other two, from the day she was born.  She wasn't a screamy baby like Sonya, and she wasn't stubborn like Lana.  She was, and still is, almost always happy.  She is the comic relief in our family, definitely her father's daughter.  A couple weeks before we left for Florida I was reminded of this.


Georgia does not like to be in situations that feel tense or heated, especially when it's her getting in trouble. She will do what she can to try to lighten the mood.  Much like her father.  We were having dinner one night, and the girls were talking about pigs and oinking, just being silly.  Then GG did something she wasn't supposed to.  Who knows what it was-not sitting in her seat properly, not eating over the plate, spilling her drink, playing with food.  These are just a few things that we encounter with all of them at mealtimes on a daily basis.  My favorite is Sonya sitting half on and half off her chair, like she has to be ready to run out of the kitchen at any moment.  What is THAT about?  Anyway-Andy was lecturing Georgia about something.  She was half listening, but he was pretty upset at the time, so she was trying to smile and make light of what was going on.  She dislikes having anyone made at her.  He realized she was only half paying attention and he stopped his lecture and said to her, 


"Do you understand what I'm telling you, Georgia?  Do you hear me?"


She looked at him, smiled a bit and said, "OINK!"


I had to get up and leave the room.  There was no way I wasn't going to laugh at that, which I knew would only make Andy more upset and fuel Georgia's comedy.    How could I NOT laugh at that?  

Always making funny faces for the camera.

I love how adventurous she is too.  She is always willing to try something knew and is hardly ever afraid.  This is completely opposite of Lana who is always apprehensive about new things and rarely changes her mind to try it.  Sonya is usually apprehensive at first too, but more ready to let down her guard.  When we were in Florida we visited a place called The Jungle Gardens.  They had an area filled with all kinds of Parrots, parakeets, cockatoos, and any other type bird you could have hang out on your shoulder or arm.  You got to pick which bird you wanted and the wrangler would place it on your outstretched arm, then you could pose for a picture.  As soon as Georgia heard about what she could do she ran over and picked out one of the biggest birds.  


"I want to do it!!  I want dat one mommy!" She said pointing to a bit white cockatoo.  


"Maybe you should pick a smaller one," I said.


"Noooo!!!  DAT ONE!!" She insisted, her arm already outstretched waiting.    


Luckily the bird wrangler talked her out of it, knowing the bird was probably about half her weight and she'd never be able to hold it.  She was the first of all the girls, including her cousins, to hold a bird and was ready to do it again  seconds after they took it away.  Sonya gave it a go, after seeing Georgia do it.  Lana stood her stubborn ground for a while, but relented when she realized that the small parakeet her sisters had been holding hadn't pecked their eyes out, so she was probably safe. However, she insisted on having the exact same one they had held.  No big bird for her.  Had it not been for Georgia, though, I doubt any of them would have held one.  Her throw caution to the wind attitude helps to free her sisters at times. I think it might help that she's the youngest.  I mean because if you're little sister is doing it, there is no reason you shouldn't be.   Although this doesn't always work.  Especially with Lana.  Especially with food.  Georgia will take a bite of anything I put in front of her, including sushi.  Not many four year olds are up for that. 

As she's grown in this past year, I've seen these two sides of her personality really develop.  They were always underlying in her before, but it's only been in the past  year that she will try to do whatever she can to make someone laugh.  It's only been in the past couple months that I've realized how brave and adventurous she is. Before I thought that was a trait she had because she was young, but the other two were not like that at her age.  They've always been more suspicious.  Sometimes that is better, but that is why they have each other.  Sonya and Lana will keep Georgia from jumping off the bridge, but Georgia will show them that with a bungee cord, it could be fun.  Hmmm...maybe I need to rethink this part of her personality as being a good thing.  

She loves playing in the waves.

She was the first one to feed the Giraffes at Lion Country.  

In Sonya and Lana's recent birthday posts I did throwback stories from the time they were babies.  I didn't do that this time, because I started this blog when Georgia was eleven months old and truth be told, I can't remember much in the ten months before that.  The first year of her life is somewhat of a blur to me.  It was probably one of the most difficult times I've ever been through, dealing with the three of them all so young and two so close together.  There wasn't much sleep back then.  Now that I'm on this side of things, the side where it's a bit easier-no diapers, no breastfeeding, they can entertain themselves-I can say how incredibly lucky I am to have had a surprise baby.  I honestly could not imagine a world without her in it.  She is a super sweet, sympathetic,  funny, fun loving, try anything, silly, sunshiny little girl.  As my friend Melissa put it yesterday, "she's a good egg". Yes, she is.   Best. Surprise. Ever.  I love you, baby girl.  Happy fourth birthday!

Comedy Competition

Remember how I recently wrote about Georgia being the funny one in the family?  Well, either she's reading this blog (which I don't think would be the best thing for her) or she thinks of herself in this way. Even though she's only THREE.  


Last week we were in the car on the way back from picking Lana up from pre-school.  Lana had on her favorite pink sparkly shoes.  She was admiring her shoes and then told me,


"Mommy, my shoes don sparkle in da shade." It was cloudy that particular day.


"Oh, no?" I asked.


"No, day only sparkle in da hot," she informed me.


I giggled and said, "Oh you mean in the sun?"


"Oh yeah," she said.  "Da sun.  Dats what I mean."


I kinda chuckled again then said, "Lana, you're so funny."


Georgia, who sits next to Lana in the van, had listed to our conversation.  Right after I told Lana how funny she was, GG did what can only be described as a courtesy laugh then immediately said,


"Yeah, but I's more funnier."


Since that made me laugh harder than what Lana said, I guess she had a point. 

Like Father, Like Daughter

I've recently come to the realization, that little Georgia is becoming the jokester in the family.   She is the one who is not afraid to make a fool of herself to get a laugh.  For a few months now, she will use different voices to make fun or her sisters, or even Andy and I.  Most of the time it's her repeating what we say in a goofy voice, but I have no idea where she even got the idea to start doing this.  Then again, I have to remember who I'm married to.

Andy has always been funny.  It's definitely one of the reasons I married him to begin with.  Wittiness comes to him very naturally and anyone who knows him, knows how much he jokes around.  Pretty much 24/7.  It's hard to get him to be serious.  Usually the only time he's serious is when he's mad, we're in a fight or he's sleeping.  Actually, even during sleep he's laughing.  Like last week when I woke up from a nightmare yelling "NOOO!"  I think he laid in bed and giggled at me for five minutes before going back to sleep.  Don't bother seeing if I need comforting from my nightmare!! No no, just laugh at me yelling in my sleep.  Well, in his defense it was pretty funny.   He will be more serious when he's around people he doesn't know that well.  He has to feel out his audience before deciding what kind of jokes he can make.  When we had kids I always hoped that they would take after him in this way. They all seem to have a good sense of humor.  Each one of them can be goofy in her own way at different times, but Sonya will become too self conscience and Lana is too moody.   But Georgia...she is the one that will do anything to get a laugh.  Sometimes it's making silly faces, sometimes it's the mocking voices, then other times it's her attempt at trying to dance in tap class.

I take Georgia and Lana to dance class every Tuesday right now.  It's through the Parks and Rec here in Burbank, so it was fairly cheap.  One week they do ballet and the next week it's tap.  The girls like going, and I can't even begin to tell how how incredibly adorable and funny they are.  I wish I had videos or a picture even, but alas their teacher doesn't allow it.  She doesn't allow much, let me tell you.  She is very serious about dancing with them and even I'm scared of doing something wrong when I'm there.  

Yesterday, she was teaching the girls "shuffle, hop, step", which is the only step I remember from my own very brief tap days some 100 years ago.  She showed the girls how to do it and then she went down the line to have each of them do it so she could help them with it.  The girls in this class are between 3-5 years old, so they are all cute to watch and have a hard time performing any step. They also have difficulty keeping focused for the 25 minutes they are in there. All of us moms are entertained by our kids each week, and how funny they are when they try to dance.  This week though, Lana nailed it.  She did a great job with the move and the teacher even commended her.  I was so proud.  The instructor continued to have each girl show her the move individually until she got to Georgia.  Oh Georgia.  I don't really even know how to describe what she did in words.  If you were a Seinfeld fan, think something along the lines of the Elaine dance.  If you weren't you can check it out here.  Yeah, it was sorta like that.

Georgia did the shuffle, but kicked her leg way out in front of her.  Then she jumped high in the air and landed hard for her step.  Except when she jumped, she did this thing with her arms punching them in the air.  Her teacher made her do it a few times on each foot and every time she did the weird jump arm thing.  At the start of her turn I was giggling, but by the end, I was in full church laughing mode.  You know the one. It happens when you find something funny in church and you can't laugh out loud, so you start to laugh inward and it makes your whole body shake which only  makes you laugh harder.  Then your mom snaps her fingers and gives you her mad look because you are laughing in church, even if it isn't out loud.  That was me at dance class yesterday.  Only when I turned to look at the other moms, they weren't snapping their fingers with mad faces at me, but doing their own church laugh.  I was laughing so badly that I started tearing up at one point.  I didn't want to laugh out loud, because I didn't want Georgia to feel self conscience.  However, it appeared she did notice we were all in silent fits of giggles, and this only fueled her to be more silly.  Even her strict instructor was smiling and appeared to be holding back some of her own chuckles.  Then the mom sitting next to me, leaned over and said,

"She is super cute!"

Yes, yes she is. While she may not be the best dancer or any kind of dancer,  she appears to be the class clown of the dancing class, and loves every minute of it. 

 I always knew that when I got surprisingly pregnant with her, there was a reason for her to be in our lives.  I'm almost certain now it is for her to make us laugh, and lighten our lives.  For all the drama the older two can cause us, she is the comedy to play off of them.  I think she is going to have us, and others around her laughing out loud or church style, for many years to come.