A Bad Place For Charlotte's Web

Hi.  Phew!  Does anyone else feel like they are sinking in the quicksand of Christmas?  I don't know if it's the fact that we only have three weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas or that I am just busy ALL THE TIME ANYWAY!  But seriously.  These last few weeks have been killing me.  I will be happy when Christmas is here and I can relax for minute and have leftovers, while playing with my new toys for few days.  Because I've been so busy, I haven't had time to sit down and write, but I managed to find 20 free minutes today.  Even though my body really wanted me to take a nap, I denied it just so I could entertain you all with a new story.  Aren't I so nice?  Let's call it my Christmas present to you!  Because I really can't do any more shopping or bake any more cookies.  I might hurt someone. Plus this is a quick one, so I can maybe write this and STILL get a 10 minute nap in.  If there are spelling mistakes in here, forgive me.  My body took over and put me to sleep.  

A couple of weeks ago, the girls went back to my room to take a shower after dinner, as they do most nights.  Andy was home that day and he went to monitor them, while I cleaned up the kitchen.  I was busy trying to tame the kitchen mess, when I heard Georgia start to cry.  I ignored it partially because this was not an unusual occurrence.  Chances were that one of her sisters did something that upset her, and her cries are mostly fake.  I also ignored it because Andy was there and I decided let him deal with it for once.  Then I heard her running down the hall and I realized her crying wasn't the typical "waaa! she hit me!" kind of crying.  This was a panicked, sobbing, couldn't catch her breath cry.  That's when I intervened.

"Georgia what's wrong?"  I asked.

Between her sobs she tried as best she could to tell me.  "Sssttthhhpppiiidddeeerrr!"

"What?" I asked, not sure what she was telling me.

"Sthpider (sob) in (sob) da toilet (sob sob sob)!!" She said.

I walked back to our bedroom where Andy was standing at our toilet trying to flush down a Daddy Long Leg spider.  The floor in front of the toilet was wet with urine.  

After calming Georgia down and piecing it together with the others what I found out was this.  Georgia got on the toilet in our bathroom to pee before taking a shower.  She looked down in the bowl and there was a Daddy Long Leg trying to make his way out of the bowl.  So, mid-pee, she hopped off crying and ran down the hall naked.   Now, I'm personally not afraid of spiders, but even I would have freaked the hell out had I seen that while trying to go.  Not to mention that at five years old, that Daddy Long Leg probably looked gigantic to her.  

If felt so bad for her and consoled her until she calmed down.  Then she her sisters took a shower. Problem solved!  Right?  Issue over! Right?  Now you all now better than that!

For five days afterward the child held her pee.  I would see her dancing around and when I asked her if she had to go she would deny it.  Eventually she would have to give in, but before she would go in ANY toilet, I had to thoroughly check for spiders.  Then I had to stand there until she was done.  As the weeks have gone on she's gotten better about going, but she is still making me check the toilet and I can't go very far until she is finished going.  You know, because I have nothing else going right now but to wait in the bathroom while my child poops.  It's more fun than you know.

She still refuses to go in the toilet in our bathroom though.  No matter how much checking I do in that one, she doesn't trust it.  I really can't say I blame her.  I got up in the middle of the night to pee a few nights ago, and her incident popped in my head.  I didn't want to turn on the light so I just peed like I do in a public toilet, hovering above the seat.  I couldn't be positive that Daddy Long Leg hadn't creeped from back out of the bowl and I wasn't looking to find out.  Guess we will all be checking the toilet for a while.  

Mommy Goes Missing

There are many days when I don't get around to taking a shower until late in the day, sometimes even after the kids go to bed. During the summer, there really isn't a point since it's hot out and I just end up sweating anyway. There are times we go to our neighbor's pool as well, and I don't want to be taking more than one shower a day, because that would just be wasting water. And who doesn't like wasting? Lana? "The earth."

Right. So. One day last week it was late in the afternoon and I decided to jump in the shower before getting the girls' dinner. I put something on for them to watch, because I don't want them trying to kill each other when I can't intervene. Unfortunately, the television is the best solution for that. After I turned on their show and they all became glassy eyed, I informed them, that mommy was going to take a shower and if they needed something that's where they could find me. They all just sorta nodded their eyes never leaving the TV. Hey, at least I knew they wouldn't fight.

I headed back to my bathroom to get myself clean when I realized I needed to make a potty pit stop first. Now, the light in our "toilet closet" is attached to a fan. When you turn on the light the fan automatically goes on and if the door is closed, you can hear NOTHING outside that little room. I closed the door for some peace, flipped on the switch and grabbed my latest book. About three minutes later I thought I could hear something going on down the hall. Great-TV didn't stop the fighting. I turned off the light and opened the door to find out what was going on. From the living room I could hear what sounded like all three girls crying, or more accurately wailing.

"MOOOOOMMMMMYYYY!!!!" Sob, sob, sob.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" I yelled from the bathroom.

Suddenly the crying stopped and Sonya said,

"MOM?!?"

"Yeah! What is going on, Sonya?!" I said again.

"Oh..... We didn't know where you were," she told me.

"WHAT? I told you I was going to take a shower, but I had to go to the bathroom first. I'm in my bathroom," I reminded her.

"Oh. Ok," she replied calmly.

"Are you ALL crying?" I asked.

"No," she said. "Just me and Lana. GG wasn't crying."

Let's review. I told them where I was going. Perhaps it was my fault for doing so AFTER I turned on the TV, but still. Then at some point they realized I wasn't around, called for me, but when I didn't respond instead of getting up and looking around, they just decided I was "gone", so they cried about it. I guess it was a pretty good episode of Yo Gabba Gabba. I'm sure they would have searched for me after it ended. And Georgia? Well, either she heard me when I said where I was going, or she just didn't care as much.

You know those stories you hear about with the little kids who call 911 because their mom fell, or had a heart attack and won't wake up? And they end up saving their mom because they found her and called 911? Yeah, I'm pretty sure we won't ever be one of those stories.

One Year Later

The past week has been a little crazy, which is why I've neglected this blog. There are a number of reasons for me to not get to it last week, most of which I won't bore you with. However, yesterday was because I came down with some sort of stomach bug, and I couldn't do anything but lay around all day. Something I don't think I've done since well before we had the girls. I just couldn't get up. Thank goodness Andy was off work and able to entertain them. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about today really, although it does play a part. What I do want to talk about is the fact that last week was the official one year anniversary of me writing these crazy stories. I can't believe it! When I originally started this blog, I aimed it more toward me not being able to go to the bathroom in peace. Since then I've ventured outside of that idea and given you many stories of the girls, and sometimes my life. Just in case some of you were wondering though, I still have no private bathroom time. So in honor of the one year anniversary of my blog, I thought I'd prove that point with what happened yesterday.

When you have a stomach bug, it usually means whatever contents are in your stomach do everything they can to make as quick an exit as possible from your body. Whichever way. Yesterday was that fun time for me. I'm not trying to gross you out, but hey, we've all been there a time or two.

Sonya had this bug on Friday and I woke up in the middle of the night Sunday to Georgia crying that she was going to throw up. At that point I was already starting to feel queasy. By yesterday morning, my stomach was in full revolt mode.

I spent all of the morning in bed, then most of the afternoon on the couch, with interval trips to the bathroom. By the early evening I was beginning to feel a bit better. I headed to the bathroom at one point and was interrupted by a whining Georgia. I tried to explain to her that Mommy REALLY needed to go potty, but she didn't seem to care. Instead she followed me whining with Lana trailing behind her. Andy and Sonya were outside playing catch.

I tried to keep them out, but all they did was bang on the door and ask to be let in. Georgia was the one who really wanted to be with me. Lana was okay being outside the door. She and Georgia had been pushing their strollers around and thought Georgia should have her stroller with her. In the bathroom. With me. Now the biggest problem with this, is the bathroom I was in is more of just a toilet closet, so to speak, and has little room for one person let alone that person a toddler and her baby stroller.

Lana didn't seem to care. I told her to leave it outside, but she insisted GG needed it. Georgia was actually on my side and tried to push it back out. This led to the two of them screaming at each other, while pushing and pulling the stroller.

In the bathroom.

The one I was in.

See what I'm saying here? One year later, and even though I've ventured off to tell you other stories of my day involving things that the girls say or do, the one constant in my life, and the inspiration for this blog, is that there is still no pooping in peace.

Thanks to all of you who have supported me this past year reading this blog. If you keep reading I'll keep writing. Hell, even if you don't, I'll keep writing. I've kinda grown fond of venting some of my frustrations on here. Plus some of you have told me you like that you can relate to some of my stories. That was always my main goal. To entertain, while making other moms feel like they're not alone. So, tell your friends and make sure they tell their friends. I'm hoping someday this thing will pay for my kids college education. Hey-a girl can dream!