Miss Interpretation

Yesterday afternoon I was in my kitchen making homemade ravioli, (because you know I have so much free time, I have to fill it somehow!) when Sonya came in looking for little Ziploc baggies.

"What are you doing with those?" I asked her.

"Lana and I are going to pick rose petals and put them in here," she explained.

This was not an unusual thing for them to do. They were always going outside and picking leaves off trees to make "soup", or throw dying rose petals in the air for their "parties", so I didn't really question it.

"Fine, just make sure you don't pick any new rose petals, just the old ones that are about to fall off," I reminded her.

She agreed and went on her way. After about ten minutes she and Lana walked into the kitchen. She lifted up her skirt and patted the front of her underwear, which crinkled. Then she looked up at me and said,

"Medz Mama told us to do this!"

"Do what?" I asked, stopping my pasta rolling mid roll.

"She told me you can put rose petals in a baggie and put it in your underwear to make it smell nice!" Then she patted the front of her underwear again, which again made the crinkly noise. I realized the noise was the Ziploc baggie filled with rose petals.

"She told you to do WHAT?" I asked. Sonya repeated herself, then looked over at Lana. I turned to look at Lana, who got a huge grin on her face, lifted up her skirt and patted her noisy underwear too.

Okay.

Why on earth would my mother-in-law be telling my kids to put Ziploc baggies of rose petals in their underwear?? This did NOT seem like the kind of thing she would do at all. My mother-in-law is a very polite, sort of reserved woman. Sure she can have fun, but she's not really the- party down, dance on tables at weddings when she's drunk- kind of woman. No, no that's reserved for other people in my family. She's that old school- doesn't leave the house without her makeup and hair done- kind of woman. The type of woman who I watched put on lipstick when she was going for a walk around the block at my house in BURBANK, because "you never know who might see you". So I couldn't wrap my head around why SHE would tell my girls to make their private area smell good by putting bagged rose petals in their underwear.

WHAT THE HELL??

I would have called her then, but my hands were still covered in ravioli dough, so it would have to wait. Instead, I sent the girls back outside to play before they could catch me laughing at the two of them. Sonya was so happy about her potpourri private area, and since I wasn't sure what she had been told, I didn't want to burst her bubble... or baggie. Not to mention you do NOT argue with that kid unless you have all the facts. Trust me. Then I made a mental note to discuss with my husband about his mom starting to lose it.

After he got home from work and Sonya explained to him what Medz Mama told her to do, he looked at me and said,

"What?!"

"I have NO idea," I replied.

"Call her right now and ask her," he told me.

As I picked up the phone to dial her, I thought about the story again when it suddenly dawned on me what she had been trying to tell Sonya. I called her anyway, because I was sure she would get a kick out of Sonya's interpretation of her beauty tip.

At some point during their visit here a few weeks ago, she told Sonya that you could put dry rose petals in sachet bag and put it in your underwear DRAWER to make the underwear smell good. AHHH! It all made sense now. My mother-in-law hadn't lost her mind, my daughter just didn't get the whole concept of the sachet bag and totally missed the part about putting the bag in a drawer, NOT her actual underwear. But damn, was it funny! It reminded me of ANY episode of Three's Company. Julia laughed for a while too when I told her the story of the girls and their crinkly underwear.

Then she promised to look for some sachet bags to bring with her next time she comes. I'll just make sure Sonya keeps the bag in her drawer. Although, if you ever want your underwear to smell nice quickly, putting it directly in what you have on might just work better. Maybe Sonya was on to something after all.

The Next Character in the "Twilight" Series

There is one particular behavioral problem I have not had to deal with amongst my girls. One that my sister and some friends have gone through with their kids, but not me! Nope! My girls did not go through THAT phase. Until now. Turns out that Georgia may have a little vampire in her.

The biting is something that has gotten increasingly worse in the past two weeks. I believe it's because she discovered that she can get a MAJOR reaction from her sisters when she does it. When they are fighting or she is not getting what she wants, she whips out the fangs and takes a chunk out of an arm, or shoulder, sometimes the back. When it happens I usually give her a time out and console the victim. I try to give more attention to the victim, because I have read this is what you are supposed to do, but so far she doesn't really seem to care. In fact she has a damn cute little smile on her face after she does it, and it's all I can do to keep from laughing at her. The worst is when she does it in public where I don't have much recourse, like today in Costco.

We were about halfway through our trip when she and Lana started going at it. Those shopping carts with the seats side by side seem like such a good idea at the time. Then your kids try to kill each other. Why is there no partition between the two seats? Or at least one you can put up and down like in a limo. That would work so well! Who wants to get on this idea? Anyone?

Anyway, they were hitting each other back and forth and it was starting to escalate. I eventually put a stop to it, by pulling Lana out and letting her walk. After they both settled down I decided Lana should get back in, since it was easier to keep track of her in the cart. She wasn't back in 30 seconds when she started to wail. I turned back to see what had happened just in time for Georgia to sit up and away from Lana's back. Lana was crying loudly and claiming Georgia bit her on her back. I lifted up her shirt to see a small red mark right above her shoulder blade. I know it was one of those bites that hurts like a bitch, because she only bit a tiny piece of skin. I scolded Georgia and took away her snack, there wasn't too much else I could to do her at that point. She did her little smile at me. Then I ignored her and consoled Lana for about five minutes. She decided to get back out of the cart afraid Vampira would bite her again. I allowed this, since I really couldn't blame her for not trusting her sister.

After a few minutes I explained to Georgia AGAIN, that it was not nice to bite and how badly she hurt her sister. I even showed her the mark. This seemed to register a little more and she apologized to Lana. Lana however, was in no mood to accept this apology and refused to talk to GG. Georgia was upset and kept whining to me,

"Yana won tawk to me."

"Sorry, Georgia." I told her. "You bit her and that hurt so now she's mad at you."

She pouted about this for a few minutes. Then as we were walking toward the front to checkout, an older woman passed us. She looked at Georgia and exclaimed,

"What a pretty little girl you are!"

Georgia turned around, looked at her and said,

"I bite Yana."

This made both the woman and me laugh, although I'm not so sure she knew what Georgia was saying. I did and it seemed to me that she was starting to figure out biting isn't a nice thing to do. I THINK she is starting to figure it out anyway. I mean, she did tell on herself.

I have no idea how long this phase will last, but everyone I know who has run into this problem has told me it is something they just grow out of. My youngest sister, Megan, went through it for a time and I'll never forget the time she bit me on the shoulder. Hard. I think she was a little bit younger than Georgia is now. I know SHE eventually grew out of it, I'm just not sure when, although I don't recall her biting me in our teen years. So until then I guess we'll all just have to carry around holy water and wear garlic around our neck. After seeing what Georgia did to Lana today, I'm not taking any chances of her getting her fangs into me.

SSHHHAARRRKK!!

Since the beginning of the summer, anytime we got to a pool, ANY pool- community, neighbors, hotel, whatever-Lana asks us,

"Are there sharks and whales in there?"

I have no idea where she got the idea that sharks and whales frequent chlorine filled pools, but it has gotten in head and she won't let it go. Sometimes when we are in a pool, she will freak out thinking the shadow that the tree is making is a shark about to eat her. Now if this was the early 80's, I would totally understand. I mean who out there my age WASN'T terrified of sharks thanks to the classic film Jaws? I think I even went through a phase where I too was worried that maybe pool sharks were a real thing. However, Lana has never seen Jaws. As crazy as I am, I'm not THAT crazy to let me kids watch something like that. Never the less, she seems to have a serious fear of sharks, and for some reason, whales a bit too. So when we went to the Aquarium of the Bay in San Francisco, I was surprised when all she wanted to do was find the sharks.

From the moment we stepped foot in the aquarium, she started asking about where the sharks were.

"But Lana look over here! Cool Jellyfish!"

"Yeah! Where are the sharks?"

"We'll see them soon."

"When? Is this where the sharks are?"

It went on like this for the first 20 minutes of the aquarium. Then we took the elevator down to the tunnels you walk through where fish swim all around you. It's like being inside a giant fish tank. On the elevator ride down, the aquarium employee informed us there would be two tunnels we would walk through. One with big fish, starfish, etc. Then the second, oh! the second one would have sharks. THE sharks! That was all Lana heard. From the moment we stepped off the elevator and into the tunnels she looked all around at the fish asking for the sharks.

"Look Lana a starfish!"

"Oooooo! Where's the sharks?!"

I thought that first tunnel would take FOREVER to get through. When it finally led into the second tunnel, I saw a few sharks right away, and immediately pointed them out to Lana. She was excited and wanted to know where more were. Luckily they were, literally, swimming all around us and it wasn't hard to point more out. She squealed every time she saw a new one. Toward the end of the tunnel, as we were about to end the shark tour, I said.

"Do you see all the sharks now Lana? There are a lot here!"

"I know!" She said. "I'm SO happy!"

So the thing she fears so much in the water was the ONLY thing she cared about seeing at the aquarium. Not only was it the only thing she cared about seeing, but it made her SO happy. I can't say I don't understand this phenomena. I mean as scared as I am of sharks, thanks to Jaws, I am also completely fascinated with them. They are always the animal I like to find in aquariums, and Shark Week in August is a fun time for me. So I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised by her fear/fascination with sharks. It seems that she came by it naturally.

And truth be told, it's a good thing pools have clear water, otherwise I might still be hesitant to get in.

Da Na, Da Na, Da Na......

Name That Tune

Over our vacation we spent a bunch of time in the car. Therefore we spent a bunch of time listening to music. The latest music in the car over the past few months has been popular songs, made popular again, by the hit show Glee. I totally admit, I love this show. Now Sonya loves this show too, and we both love the songs. My friend Melinda made us CDs of all the songs they've released on iTunes. Since she gave them to us in April, they've been in constant rotation in my min-van. The girls each have their favorite songs and every time we get in the car they want to hear "their" song. I will oblige each of them, and they will belt out "their" song at top volume while it is playing. For Sonya that song is Lady Gaga's, "Bad Romance".

Any of you out there who don't know the song, take a minute to go check it out on iTunes. You can just listen to the free twenty seconds they give you just to hear the chorus. I'll wait.

Done?

Good. Now for those of you who know the song, Glee has cleaned it up and there are no bad words in it. However, most five year olds don't know what the words are in songs to begin with, sooooo you never know WHAT they're going to sing. Such is the case with Sonya and this particular song.

Even though I've heard her sing it in the car many times before, I had never heard her sing what she sang when we were in San Francisco. What she sang LOUDLY, in front of my IN-LAWS, in San Francisco. Sometimes she would sing the words "bad romance". Then other times...well other times for some reason, she sang the words "fag romance".

Now let me assure everyone out there. Andy and I love the gays. We do not have one problem with gay or lesbians whatsoever and even voted in favor of them getting married. In fact we do have quite a few friends who are gay or lesbian. We do not in ANY way use that word in our house. Even if it was ever uttered in a joking manner, it would not be in front of any of the girls. So I have zero idea where she heard it. I believe those are just the sounds she hears in the song.

Either way, I had a very difficult time not laughing at my daughter sitting in her car seat next to her grandparents, loudly, and I do mean loudly, belting out a Lady Gaga tune, while changing the words to "fag romance". Meanwhile my mother-in-law sat next to her and kept yelling to us in the front,

"What are you teaching my granddaughter?! What are you letting her listen to?!"

This only made Andy and I laugh harder. Thank goodness we were all the way in the front and nobody really noticed that we were crying with laughter, every time Sonya sang the wrong word. The fact is, it is a completely innocent mistake on Sonya's part. She has no idea what she's singing and truly believes that what she is putting her heart and soul into are the correct words. We've all been there. "Wrapped up like a douche" anyone? Megan once thought Paula Abdul's "You got me knocked out" was, "you got me knocked up". Waaaaayyy different song.

Yes, I do plan on correcting her and making sure she knows the right word, I just didn't want to embarrass her and do it in front of everyone. And okay fine, there is a little part of me that wants to hear it just one more time, because it is so damn funny.

Sister Support

I did promise you all a longer story today, so thanks for checking in and here you go!

Let me start this by giving you a bit of back story. Most of the time when one of the girls throws a temper tantrum we will walk away and let it happen. That is if we're not in public. Sometimes we try to do things to calm them down, like tell them to take deep breaths, or relax. When they do calm down, we will usually commend them by saying, "Good job calming down, Lana (or Georgia or Sonya)." This helps them to completely come back down to earth and actually listen to us.

On our first day in San Francisco, the same day we forgot to bless Lana, we were on our way back to the car after a full day of Fisherman's Wharf and the Aquarium of the Bay. It was also the first day of no naps for the two little girls. The first of THREE days of no naps. All the moms out there just gasped, because you know how bad it can get without one nap that is much needed, but three days in a row? I was pretty sure one of the girls was going to to start having her head spin around while speaking in tongues by Monday. But, we were on VACATION! So we were letting it go and doing our best to control the crankies. I have to say, they did do pretty well overall, and to be honest I think the first day may have been their crankiest. Well, Lana's anyway.

So, we were on our way to the car when Lana decided she needed to pee. I told everyone to go to the car and get the other two buckled in while I took Lana to the bathroom. When we returned to the car, everyone was waiting for us. Lana climbed in the car and started to get in her seat. I walked over to the parking payment station to take care of the parking for the day. When I got back to the car, I found Lana outside of it and Andy threatening to leave her there. I asked what the problem was and they informed me Lana wanted ME to buckle her. This is an ongoing theme with her, wanting me to do everything. It's less about me and more about her need to have power over a situation. We decided we were not giving in to her this time, and Andy forced her back into her seat and buckled her himself.

To say she was unhappy would be a serious understatement. She started a temper tantrum to end all temper tantrums. Since we were in the car, we decided to let it go, doing our best to ignore her. She screamed and cry and thrashed her body around the car seat. She threw her blankie on the ground and pulled her shoes and socks off her feet. Then she complained of her skirt falling down. Most likely due to all the thrashing about. Instead of getting a hold of herself to ask nicely for help she yelled,

"MOOOMMMYYY!! HELP. ME. NOW!!"

When I continued to ignore the orders, she whined and cried some more. Then she began to yell,

"MOOOOMMMM! TALK TO MEEEEEE!!"

That one killed me, but I knew that talking to her at that point would just negate everything we were trying to do. She knew how to ask for things and how to calm down. I had to believe she would figure it out.

Then she started to yell for her blankie. The one she had thrown on the floor. Again, I waited for the demands to end and to hear a nicer request from her. Sonya and my in-laws sat in the backseat doing their best to ignore the situation and played "I-spy" as we drove toward the Bay Bridge and our hotel. Georgia sat next to Lana in her car seat sucking her thumb, clutching her blankie and staring straight ahead.

The tantrum went on for what seemed like ten hours, but was at least a good ten minutes. She would slow down and seem to be getting to a stopping point, but then rev back up again. Finally, just when I thought I was going to break, I heard her take a deep breath and say very calmly,

"Mama?"

I really didn't think not to respond to her because she had said is so sweetly and calmly. So I immediately said, "Yes, Lana?"

"I peeze have my bankie?" she asked very kindly.

"Of course you can," I replied and handed it to her. She put it in her mouth and relaxed further. Then, from the seat next to her, Georgia pulled her thumb from her mouth turned to look at her sister and said,

"Goo calming dow Lana."

I looked over at Andy and the two of us giggled at Georgia's praise of her sister. We then agreed and complemented Lana as well.

It's so hard to figure out the right thing to do in some of those situations, especially when the tantrums get so out of control. Every parent has their own way of doing things. Who knows if we handled it the "right" way, but as least I know we're teaching our girls to support one another. That has to be at least one point in the doing things right category.

Forgetting Our Manners

I plan on writing a longer story tomorrow, once my in-laws leave and I have more time, but for now let me tell this little one.

On our first day traveling to San Francisco from our hotel we all piled in the car. I programmed the Garmin, Andy started the engine, and Robert and Julia were busy buckling the girls in their seats. Somewhere during all this, Lana sneezed. Since we were all preoccupied with something else, nobody said anything. After about 30 seconds without a response to her sneeze Lana yelled,

"ISN'T ANYBODY GOING TO SAY BLESS YOU?!"

We all responded immediately with a chorus of "Bless yous". Then we made our way across the Bay Bridge to San Fran, chuckling to ourselves about Lana as we went. Unfortunately, that would not be the last time she would be so demanding that weekend, but the last time it was so cute.

Road Trip

Hello all! No I haven't forgotten about this blog or any of you waiting by your computer for the next installment. I am currently on vacation in San Francisco with Andy, the girls and my in-laws. Okay so it's a working vacation, but a vacation none the less. Plus it is the only one I will get this year. I will be back to updating by Tuesday next week. I already have some fun stories to tell! Check in soon!