"What are you doing with those?" I asked her.
"Lana and I are going to pick rose petals and put them in here," she explained.
This was not an unusual thing for them to do. They were always going outside and picking leaves off trees to make "soup", or throw dying rose petals in the air for their "parties", so I didn't really question it.
"Fine, just make sure you don't pick any new rose petals, just the old ones that are about to fall off," I reminded her.
She agreed and went on her way. After about ten minutes she and Lana walked into the kitchen. She lifted up her skirt and patted the front of her underwear, which crinkled. Then she looked up at me and said,
"Medz Mama told us to do this!"
"Do what?" I asked, stopping my pasta rolling mid roll.
"She told me you can put rose petals in a baggie and put it in your underwear to make it smell nice!" Then she patted the front of her underwear again, which again made the crinkly noise. I realized the noise was the Ziploc baggie filled with rose petals.
"She told you to do WHAT?" I asked. Sonya repeated herself, then looked over at Lana. I turned to look at Lana, who got a huge grin on her face, lifted up her skirt and patted her noisy underwear too.
Okay.
Why on earth would my mother-in-law be telling my kids to put Ziploc baggies of rose petals in their underwear?? This did NOT seem like the kind of thing she would do at all. My mother-in-law is a very polite, sort of reserved woman. Sure she can have fun, but she's not really the- party down, dance on tables at weddings when she's drunk- kind of woman. No, no that's reserved for other people in my family. She's that old school- doesn't leave the house without her makeup and hair done- kind of woman. The type of woman who I watched put on lipstick when she was going for a walk around the block at my house in BURBANK, because "you never know who might see you". So I couldn't wrap my head around why SHE would tell my girls to make their private area smell good by putting bagged rose petals in their underwear.
WHAT THE HELL??
I would have called her then, but my hands were still covered in ravioli dough, so it would have to wait. Instead, I sent the girls back outside to play before they could catch me laughing at the two of them. Sonya was so happy about her potpourri private area, and since I wasn't sure what she had been told, I didn't want to burst her bubble... or baggie. Not to mention you do NOT argue with that kid unless you have all the facts. Trust me. Then I made a mental note to discuss with my husband about his mom starting to lose it.
After he got home from work and Sonya explained to him what Medz Mama told her to do, he looked at me and said,
"What?!"
"I have NO idea," I replied.
"Call her right now and ask her," he told me.
As I picked up the phone to dial her, I thought about the story again when it suddenly dawned on me what she had been trying to tell Sonya. I called her anyway, because I was sure she would get a kick out of Sonya's interpretation of her beauty tip.
At some point during their visit here a few weeks ago, she told Sonya that you could put dry rose petals in sachet bag and put it in your underwear DRAWER to make the underwear smell good. AHHH! It all made sense now. My mother-in-law hadn't lost her mind, my daughter just didn't get the whole concept of the sachet bag and totally missed the part about putting the bag in a drawer, NOT her actual underwear. But damn, was it funny! It reminded me of ANY episode of Three's Company. Julia laughed for a while too when I told her the story of the girls and their crinkly underwear.
Then she promised to look for some sachet bags to bring with her next time she comes. I'll just make sure Sonya keeps the bag in her drawer. Although, if you ever want your underwear to smell nice quickly, putting it directly in what you have on might just work better. Maybe Sonya was on to something after all.
2 comments:
Best post EVER!!! I am dying!
Hehe! I thought you'd like that one.
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