I don't know if I've ever mentioned on here before, but Lana is very into dressing girlie. If I ever want her to wear any type of pants I have to bribe her. Usually in the form of chocolate or a trip to Disneyland. She loves any kind of skirt or dress and bonus points if it's pink or sparkly. So it was no surprise when she insisted she needed ANOTHER pair of sparkly shoes when we were in Payless yesterday. Then she proceeded to have a major tantrum when I denied her those shoes, which by the way, looked almost exactly like the ONES SHE ALREADY HAD ON.
Tuesday mornings are "Lana and Mommy Day". The other two are in school, so some Tuesdays I try to get errands done in the morning before I pick up Georgia from school at noon. It's usually easier to do running around with only one of them, except when they decide to flip out for some reason. It had been a while for Lana since she had such a public display of badness, so it kind of caught me off guard. We went to Payless because I had to get her and Georgia ballet slippers for the dance class they have been taking. I was looking at ballet slippers when Lana wandered down the aisle and came across some shoes she apparently had to have. They were princess pink and sparkly. She walked over to me with shoes in hand.
"Mom, can I get dees, pleeeeaasee?" She asked me hopefully. "Day fit me!"
She had already taken the liberty of trying them on, which looking back now, was smart on her part. I looked at the shoes in the box and I looked at the pink sparkly princess shoes she already had on her feet. Then I said,
"Lana, they are just like the ones you have on. You're not getting them."
"NO THEY'RE NOT!" She insisted. "See deese ones have jewels on dem," she said pointing to the toe of the shoe.
She was right, they did indeed have jewels where her own did not, but I was not about to buy ANOTHER pair of pink sparkly shoes because of a couple pieces of jewel shaped plastic. Not to mention the fact that she has a pair of silver sparkly shoes, which I bought for her at the beginning of the school year, and a pair of pink sparkly TOMS my friend Sooz gave her for Christmas. (Sooz works for TOMS so all the girls got pink sparkly TOMS shoes. They are so cute. Thanks Sooz!). So that makes THREE pairs of sparkly shoes, two of them already being pink. I was drawing the line.
"Lana," I said calmly, "you are not getting those shoes today."
She could tell this was one of those times I wasn't going to change my mind, so she started the whining, whimpering, and eventually, sobbing.
"PLLLLEEEAAASSEE!!!" She cried. "I WANT THEM!"
Oh well, if you WANT them then....
"No, Lana. Not today," I said again. I tried to redirect her to some Hello Kitty socks that I was looking at for her. She needed new socks, so I thought perhaps at least if she was getting something else she would be happy, but no. They were not the shoes she wanted, so the tantrum continued.
The good thing was there was only one other person in the store and the clerk, so at least she wasn't making a spectacle in front of a ton of people. Still, it's embarrassing in front of anyone. She lied on the floor and sobbed about how she NEEDED the shoes. How much she LOVED the shoes. How much she HAD TO HAVE THE SHOES! I tried ignoring her at first, but I should know better because that never works with her. So I finally got down on the floor next to her and spoke calmly.
"Lana, I am not buying the shoes for you today," I started. "I don't have enough money to get you the ballet slippers and the shoes." I figured if I put it on me and take it off the fact that she doesn't NEED another pair of sparkly shoes, she would be more willing to accept it. "Now, if you don't stop crying, I'm not going to buy you the ballet slippers or Hello Kitty socks either. I need you to take a couple deep breaths and count to ten."
This is something I've been doing with her for a couple months now. When she gets out of control with one of her tantrums, I work with her on focusing on her breathing and counting to ten to calm herself down. I would say 80% of the time this works. Luckily, this was one of those times. She stood up, wiped her eyes and took two deep breaths. Then she counted to ten. Once she calmed down she said,
"Can I pick out some socks?"
"Of course," I answered. "And good calming down Lana."
Then she looked at me and said, "When you get some more money, can we come back and get the shoes?"
That kid does not let things go.
"We'll see," I said, trying to avoid another break down.
Once we were safely in the car, and out of earshot for anyone to hear another tantrum, I talked to her about her behavior in the store. I told her I didn't like the tantrum she had, especially in front of other people, but I was proud of her for calming down. She apologized and promised not to do it again, (yeah right!) Then I explained how she already had three pairs of sparkly shoes, and perhaps when she outgrew those three pairs, THEN we could come back and get her the ones in the store. She understood, and because she was in a less emotional and more logical place at that point, agreed with me.
I'd like to think she's going to forget all about this, but again, that child will not let something like this fall through the cracks. So, who wants to bet that in six months, when all of those shoes she has now don't fit her feet anymore, I'm going to be begged to go back to Payless for those beloved, bejeweled, pink, sparkly princess shoes. I mean, after all, they ARE different!
Tuesday mornings are "Lana and Mommy Day". The other two are in school, so some Tuesdays I try to get errands done in the morning before I pick up Georgia from school at noon. It's usually easier to do running around with only one of them, except when they decide to flip out for some reason. It had been a while for Lana since she had such a public display of badness, so it kind of caught me off guard. We went to Payless because I had to get her and Georgia ballet slippers for the dance class they have been taking. I was looking at ballet slippers when Lana wandered down the aisle and came across some shoes she apparently had to have. They were princess pink and sparkly. She walked over to me with shoes in hand.
"Mom, can I get dees, pleeeeaasee?" She asked me hopefully. "Day fit me!"
She had already taken the liberty of trying them on, which looking back now, was smart on her part. I looked at the shoes in the box and I looked at the pink sparkly princess shoes she already had on her feet. Then I said,
"Lana, they are just like the ones you have on. You're not getting them."
"NO THEY'RE NOT!" She insisted. "See deese ones have jewels on dem," she said pointing to the toe of the shoe.
She was right, they did indeed have jewels where her own did not, but I was not about to buy ANOTHER pair of pink sparkly shoes because of a couple pieces of jewel shaped plastic. Not to mention the fact that she has a pair of silver sparkly shoes, which I bought for her at the beginning of the school year, and a pair of pink sparkly TOMS my friend Sooz gave her for Christmas. (Sooz works for TOMS so all the girls got pink sparkly TOMS shoes. They are so cute. Thanks Sooz!). So that makes THREE pairs of sparkly shoes, two of them already being pink. I was drawing the line.
"Lana," I said calmly, "you are not getting those shoes today."
She could tell this was one of those times I wasn't going to change my mind, so she started the whining, whimpering, and eventually, sobbing.
"PLLLLEEEAAASSEE!!!" She cried. "I WANT THEM!"
Oh well, if you WANT them then....
"No, Lana. Not today," I said again. I tried to redirect her to some Hello Kitty socks that I was looking at for her. She needed new socks, so I thought perhaps at least if she was getting something else she would be happy, but no. They were not the shoes she wanted, so the tantrum continued.
The good thing was there was only one other person in the store and the clerk, so at least she wasn't making a spectacle in front of a ton of people. Still, it's embarrassing in front of anyone. She lied on the floor and sobbed about how she NEEDED the shoes. How much she LOVED the shoes. How much she HAD TO HAVE THE SHOES! I tried ignoring her at first, but I should know better because that never works with her. So I finally got down on the floor next to her and spoke calmly.
"Lana, I am not buying the shoes for you today," I started. "I don't have enough money to get you the ballet slippers and the shoes." I figured if I put it on me and take it off the fact that she doesn't NEED another pair of sparkly shoes, she would be more willing to accept it. "Now, if you don't stop crying, I'm not going to buy you the ballet slippers or Hello Kitty socks either. I need you to take a couple deep breaths and count to ten."
This is something I've been doing with her for a couple months now. When she gets out of control with one of her tantrums, I work with her on focusing on her breathing and counting to ten to calm herself down. I would say 80% of the time this works. Luckily, this was one of those times. She stood up, wiped her eyes and took two deep breaths. Then she counted to ten. Once she calmed down she said,
"Can I pick out some socks?"
"Of course," I answered. "And good calming down Lana."
Then she looked at me and said, "When you get some more money, can we come back and get the shoes?"
That kid does not let things go.
"We'll see," I said, trying to avoid another break down.
Once we were safely in the car, and out of earshot for anyone to hear another tantrum, I talked to her about her behavior in the store. I told her I didn't like the tantrum she had, especially in front of other people, but I was proud of her for calming down. She apologized and promised not to do it again, (yeah right!) Then I explained how she already had three pairs of sparkly shoes, and perhaps when she outgrew those three pairs, THEN we could come back and get her the ones in the store. She understood, and because she was in a less emotional and more logical place at that point, agreed with me.
I'd like to think she's going to forget all about this, but again, that child will not let something like this fall through the cracks. So, who wants to bet that in six months, when all of those shoes she has now don't fit her feet anymore, I'm going to be begged to go back to Payless for those beloved, bejeweled, pink, sparkly princess shoes. I mean, after all, they ARE different!
I was going to say, didn't I already get her a pair? hahahahaha
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