Judgy McJudgerson

A lifetime, or six years ago, before I had kids, I used to be able to go to shopping in peace. When I would come upon some poor mother, whose child had temporarily lost all voice control and was throwing a tantrum, I would think to myself,

"That's too bad. She must not know what she's doing. My kids will NEVER be like that."

I'd like to go back in time and slap that stupid, childless, judgemental idiot upside her head. Little did I know I would be on the other side of those tantrums someday, no matter how good a mother I was. It's happened to me many times now, and I've felt the judgmental thoughts and stares from others when it happens in public.

Thursday morning I decided was a Costco shopping day. Costco is a place where taking two kids during the middle of the week FAR outweighs going by myself on the weekend. That place is a nuthouse on the weekend, and I want no part of it. At least when I go during the week, I can go at 10am. We have the Executive membership, so I can go right at 10, before the rest of the crowd gets there at 11. It's a little less crazy, but the downside is the free samples aren't set up yet. Still, I get out of there just as it's starting to get really busy.

Usually, the girls do well at Costco. They sit side by side in the shopping car, eat their snacks and are generally well behaved. I'm not sure what happened this past time. Maybe they ran out of their snacks too early, or I was taking too long, or a little of both. About ten minutes before we were done shopping, they started to fight. I'm not talking about a little hit here or smack there, but full on fighting. I had my back turned, and started to hear yelling. When I looked back at them, Lana was pushing on Georgia's neck. Georgia was pushing Lana away with her hand and almost had a finger in her eye, and her other hand had a fist full of Lana's hair. They were both SCREAMING. Then I heard from behind me,

"Look at those two fighting."

This statement came from an older couple. I would guess they were in their seventies. They weren't saying it in a mean judgemental way, but more in an amused, "remember when we were there? Haha!" sorta way. I decided to separate the girls before Lana put Georgia in a sleeper hold. Lana had been asking to walk, so I pulled her out of the cart and placed her on the ground. She was more than happy to be down there. Georgia, on the other hand, was angry she was still confined and began to scream louder.

"I WAN TO WOK!!" She yelled.

There was no way I was letting this happen, for two reasons. She is at the age where she wants to be out of the stroller or cart and walk everywhere, but she doesn't stay WITH me when I do let her out. She either runs away from me or lags far behind. I just didn't have time for it. I had about thirty minutes before I had to pick up Sonya from school. I still needed to finish shopping, check out and get everything and everybody in the car. Not to mention I promised the girls we'd get pizza and hot dogs from the Costco food area for lunch. I mean what's a Costco trip without the pizza and hot dogs? Especially since we missed the free samples. I did not have time to corral her. So, I had no choice. I let her scream.

Then I felt the stares. There was really nothing I could do. The one thing she wanted I couldn't give her, and she's not old enough where threatening to take things away, like TV or treats would have any affect on her. She'd have no idea what I was talking about. I tried giving her a drink or a random goldfish I found in the cart, but the only thing she wanted was DOWN.

There I was walking through Costco with a child in the shopping cart, throwing a terrible tantrum. I know people were looking at me. Perhaps some were other moms who were empathetic and understood my plight, but I know there were those out there like my former self. Childless people who shook their heads and thought they knew better. I just ignored everyone, finished my shopping, and let Georgia cry it out. By the time I got to check out, she had calmed down some and Lana wanted back in the cart. Then I distracted them by making them sing their ABC's and everyone around us thought I had the most adorable, best, well behaved little girls, and I was a super mom. Little did they know what had transpired not five minutes before.

So for those of you out there without kids, hopefully you're not as judgemental as I was and you give others the benefit of the doubt. However, if you do find yourself sitting in judgement of a mom with a kid throwing a temper tantrum, just remember, it's MUCH harder than you think, and you don't know the circumstances. Not to mention you may be on the other side of that judgement someday, and what us moms really need is your sympathy. And a glass of wine would be nice.

Big Head

I realized the other day that we may be giving Sonya a bit of an ego, in regards to how smart she is. She hears us talk to other people about her intelligence. Plus we tell her how smart she is on a regular basis, since it usually amazes us. So when I heard her toot her own horn, so to speak, one day last week, it kinda threw me off.

The girls were having their lunch, and I heard Sonya talking to Lana about things that were plain and things that had designs. She was trying to explain how there are some things that have different patterns on them and that was called a design. She used their place mats as examples. Then she said the chairs were just plain, and they are, they're just pine color wooden dining chairs. I think she used fashion as examples as well at one point. At first I was only half listening to this, but then I started to pay more attention. I was trying to figure out where she had heard something like this. I hadn't told her, but thought she may have learned it at school. It made sense because, they are learning about different modern artists lately. I know this since yesterday when she came home and told me,

"Andy Warhol had 25 cats and they were all named Sam. Why would he name them all the same thing? That's boring!"

I guess boring is one word for it. Anyway, I just assumed learning about things that were plain and things that had designs had to be from school, but I decided to ask anyway.

"Sonya where did you learn that from, about the designs and things?" I asked.

She looked right at me, cocked her head to the side, put her hand on her hip, and with a slight roll of her eyes said,

"Ya know, S-M-A-R-T," and yes she spelled it.

I do believe we've created a monster. A S-M-A-R-T monster, but a monster nonetheless.

A Little Known Fact

Yesterday during lunch:

Sonya: "Hey Lana, this is really true, Pirate's Booty is made by REAL Pirates!"

Lana: "It IS??"

Sonya: "Uh-huh. It's really true."

Me (laughing): "Sonya where did you get that idea from?"

Sonya: "I'll show you!"

She runs over to the bag of Pirate's Booty, picks it up and points to the cartoon pirate on the front of the bag.

Sonya: "See! Here's the Pirate. It's made by Pirates! It really IS true, mom!"

I just thought I should let you all know about this, because I certainly was not aware that Pirates were into making a cheesy puffed corn snack product, that is totally addicting I might add. It must be the way they supplement their income in between boat hijacks.

To The Letter

For the past few months, Andy and I have been trying to get Lana to learn her letters. She doesn't learn by osmosis, like her sister does, apparently. We actually have to WORK with her to get her to learn something. People tell me this is normal, but I prefer the way Sonya did it, which was show her once or twice and she knows it. I know I shouldn't compare, and I'm not really. It just seems Lana doesn't really CARE to learn. Nonetheless, we are still trying to teach her. We have flash cards that we show her and test her when we feel like putting the energy into it, which to be honest, isn't nearly as often as it should be. Still, she does seem to be making some progress. She knows the three letters in her name no problem, and also a few random letters like 'O' and 'B'. Sometimes she'll recognize a letter on a sign I didn't even know she new, so it gives me faith that she's at least paying a little attention.

This morning I took her and Georgia to the grocery store for our weekly stock up. Sonya was at school, because I do everything in my power to not bring all three of them shopping. I can't even begin to tell you how nerve racking it is. I was getting Lana out of the car when she shouted out,

"Q!"

"What? Where?" I asked.

"Q" she said again, and pointed in the direction behind me.

I didn't know she knew this letter and was skeptical at first. Where would a Q be in a sign around the Ralph's parking lot? I spun around and saw where she was pointing. It was the side of the CVS, which is in the same parking lot, and indeed there was a Q in a word on the side of the building. She DID recognize a letter I didn't think she knew! She IS paying attention! I was so proud. Then I saw the word in which the Q resided...

LIQUOR

Nice.

OCD

Lately, Georgia has been insistent on closing drawers, doors, closets, anything that is open. Sometimes this is cute, but sometimes it's a bit annoying, like when I'm looking for something IN the refrigerator and she's trying to close it. She'll walk into the kitchen and if a cabinet or drawer is open she'll say,

"I cose it."

Then she'll slam it shut. Today I realized she's starting to take it a bit too far when we went to pick up Sonya from school. On the walk back to our car, there was a woman sitting in the passenger side of her own car with the door open watching her daughter run around. Georgia saw the car door was open, walked over to it, and started to push it closed while saying,

"I cose it!"

"No, no Georgia. You don't need to close that lady's car door," I told her.

Thank goodness the woman found it funny that my daughter tried to close the car door on her feet. Georgia was a little worried about the door being open, as I pulled her away from the car. She continued to look back at it with a look that said, "Why is that door STILL OPEN?!" However, by the time we got to our own car she had forgotten about it.

This new obsession has given me a great idea on how to keep her occupied next time I need it. I'll just open every door and drawer in the kitchen and let her go at it. That should take up at LEAST 45 seconds. Okay, so it's not a huge time killer, but at least it's 45 seconds without whining.

Fright Night

I know I've mentioned on here a few times before about Sonya being a bit of a scared kid, mostly when it comes to movies. Truth be told this is an inherited trait, as I am a bit of a baby myself when it comes to watching scary movies or shows. Well, that's not entirely true. I actually LIKE to watch them to scare the crap out of myself. This always leads to me having nightmares for a couple nights. Although, I should point out that I won't watch ALL scary movies. I can no longer watch Zombie movies, because they really freak me out, for whatever reason. I've never been a fan of slasher/gory movies either, like Saw. I prefer a good ghost story or other supernatural type of tale. Poltergeist is probably my all time favorite, as far as scary movies go, and I love the TV show Supernatural. So the other night when I saw Andy had recorded Amityville Horror on our DVR, I was all for watching it. Even if it was the silly remake with Ryan Reynolds. (At least he's fun to look at.) However, it was what happened at the very end of the movie that frightened me the most.

The kids have had colds for a few days now and nobody has been sleeping great in our house. The night that we watched the movie, was probably the night Lana was feeling the worst. Thankfully, she didn't wake up at all during the movie, as I sat on the couch tense yelling at the stupid people in the movie to GET OUT OF THE FREAKING HOUSE, ALREADY! If you haven't seen it, I don't want to spoil for you entirely, but they do finally leave at the end. Okay, I spoiled it, sorry.

Anyway, after they make their escape, the camera goes back to a shot of the creepy house. It leads you back inside where the little ghost girl, with a bullet shot in her head, stands at the bottom of the staircase. She's about four years old and clutching her stuffed bear with a single tear on her face. I ask you is there anything creepier than little ghost kids or demonic kids, like in The Omen? For some reason when kids are evil, it's just extra creepy. I digress. So there the little ghost girl stands at the bottom of the stairs. Then, suddenly, she gets pulled through the floor by another ghost and credits roll. The moment right before the credits, right after the ghost girl disappears, we hear a loud THUD! from Sonya and Lana's room. I look at Andy he looks at me and we both freeze for a minute. Needless to say I was completely FREAKED OUT.

"What the HELL was that?" I asked.

"Don't know," Andy answered. "Sounds like someone fell out of bed."

Andy being the more rational and much less scared one in the family, immediately stood up and walked toward the direction of the noise, while I sat glued to the couch. Then Lana started to cry.

We open the door to find Lana lying on the ground whimpering. She had indeed fallen out of her little bed. Now, this act in itself isn't so weird, because kids fall out of their beds all the time. Sonya used to fall out of hers when she first started sleeping in it, even though there is a guard rail. Because they are all over the place when they sleep, they manage to work past the rail and fall out at the end of the bed. Here's the weird part, Lana has been sleeping in her bed since November and NOT ONCE has she fallen out. So why now, on a night we watch a SCARY MOVIE, does she fall out? And the timing! At the very end when the scary ghost girl gets pulled through the floor? Why? WHY? Well, I was of course convinced she was pushed by the ghost girl, but knowing that Andy would just roll his eyes at me, I kept this thought to myself.

We calmed her down and placed her back in her bed. Then for the rest of the night when I had to get up to check on her or one of the other girls, I was convinced I was going to be greeted by a ghost girl in the hallway. The only way to combat this... run into the hall to get the light to pop on. Ghosts don't like the light.

That little experience reminded me of how ridiculous I can be when I watch something scary. I have a bit of an overactive imagination I guess. So I suppose the next time Sonya freaks out about not wanting to watch The Little Mermaid because of the Sea Witch, I'll be more compassionate. After all, the Sea Witch to her is the creepy ghost girl to me. Crap, I think I may be scared of The Little Mermaid now.

Noteworthy

Yesterday, Sonya got a bit ticked off at me, because I wouldn't let her have a notebook. Here's the thing, I bought a couple notebooks at Target last week in the dollar section for myself. I need notebooks to jot down thoughts and things that happen throughout the day, so I have all these lovely stories to present you with. I find if I don't write things down I'm walking around going, "I KNOW there was SOMETHING funny Lana said yesterday. What the hell was it?" I've bought quite a few notebooks in the past, and they are always absconded by one of the girls. They find a notebook and immediately it belongs to them. No matter that mommy has writing in it. Instead, it becomes a place to draw flowers and rainbows. Recently, Sonya has even started writing sentences in the notebooks. I appreciate that they love to draw, and that Sonya loves to write, but all I wanted was ONE notebook all to myself. Is that so wrong?? If you ask my oldest, then yes.

She found my new notebook in our secretary/desk/junk holder, in the kitchen. As soon as she saw it she, oooohhed and went to grab it.

"No, no, no," I said. "That one is mine. You can't have it."

"Please!" She said. "Can't I just draw in a few pages?"

"No, Sonya. Here is another pad and pen you can write with." I handed her one of those free notepads you get in the mail from Realtors.

She frowned at it and claimed it wasn't pretty like the other notebook.

"Too bad, " I said. "It's this or nothing. Besides, you have other notebooks that used to be mine somewhere."

"I don't know where they are!" She was getting angry now.

"Oh well. You'll have to use this. The other one is mine. Sorry." I tried to hand her the other paper again. This time she grabbed it from me scowling, and stomped off to her room.

I took Georgia in to her room to change her diaper and put her down for her nap. When I left the room, there was a piece of the paper that I had given her, lying on the ground. I picked it up and read this:

"Mom is macing me mad and I am going to hit her"

Nice, right? Now rest assured that we do not, in any way,, hit in this house. Our kids are punished through time-outs. Not that I haven't WANTED to smack them a time or two, but I just don't think it's an effective way to discipline. Nonetheless, Sonya wanted to hit me. So then we had a discussion about how this wasn't a nice thing to write and how it hurt my feelings. I could tell she felt bad and in the middle of our discussion, began writing another note. This one read:

"Mom, I loves me Sonya"

I wasn't sure what this meant, and at first I thought she was being nice, but no. She was taking a page out of her father's playbook and was trying to joke her way of the situation, or at least so she told me. She said it was a joke and that it meant she was telling me she loved herself. At this point I just walked away from the situation. That's when she started to really feel bad, because this was the flurry of notes that I received over the next ten minutes:

"I love mom" Followed by:

"I am sorry I gave you that not I wille give you a new one" And finally:

"Mom is the Geratist"

I know... awwwwww. Okay, so she redeemed herself in the end. She did feel remorse for the original note, which is a good sign. I showed Andy the notes when he got home and we had a good chuckle over them. And because she made things right and apologized on her own accord, when I went to Target today I spent a WHOLE dollar on a new notebook for her. Too bad it'll be gone in a week, and she'll be back to trying to steal mine.