A Baby Story

I mentioned a few months ago, when my little sister had her second girl, that my sister Beth was pregnant with her third baby. We didn't know what she was having at that point, but on Thursday, we found out.

Before I tell you what she had, let me tell you the little story behind this birth. Beth has had two C-sections and when she decided to get pregnant a 3rd time, she thought she would just have to schedule another C-section. Fortunately, she had an OB who employed a Mid-Wife. Both believed there was no reason she could not try for a vaginal delivery. This was an exciting option for my sister, who felt like she had been "robbed" of the complete birth experience. I understand this completely.

I've mentioned before that Sonya was a C-section baby, and I was more than upset when I had to have her that way. When I had Lana I was determined to have a VBAC. I managed to have one with her and Georgia. I completely understood where Beth was coming from and supported her 110%. She did a ton of research on line, hired a Doula and read a bunch of birthing books. She would tell me all the information she learned and it was making ME want to get pregnant again, just to try it more naturally, without the drugs. I know that might sound crazy. The bigger problem for me is that I don't really want another baby, so I decided against it.

She did get resistance from people about her decision, but she stuck with it. When the baby was breech for weeks, she did everything she could to get it to turn. From seeing a chiropractor, to homeopathic solutions. She ended up going to the hospital and having what is called an external cephalic version. This is where the doctor turns the baby from the outside. I'm not sure quite how it works, but it did work and the baby was finally in a go position. Now all she had to do was wait for labor. Unfortunately, labor would never come.

Thursday morning I talked to my sister for about 45 minutes, until about 1pm her time. At that point she was completely fine and not complaining of anything unusual. Then around 3pm MY time I got a call from, Kevin her husband, asking me when I had spoken to her that day. I asked him what has going on, and he informed me that she had called him at work to tell him she was in horrible pain and needed him to come home right now. By the time he was pulling into his driveway, there was an ambulance right behind him.

MY SISTER HAD CALLED AN AMBULANCE.

Now, for those of you who don't know Beth, she is NOT the drama queen of the family. That honor is left to me and my youngest sister, Megan. Megan may be slightly more dramatic than I am, but still, we both play our parts. Beth, however, has always been the quiet laid back one, so for her to call 911 means something is seriously wrong.

After a few rounds of calls and updates from her husband, when they got to the hospital, it seemed as though everything looked okay. They were going to keep her in the hospital overnight for observation, and she and the baby were fine. Eventually, Kevin gave me a phone number to call her. Thinking everything was okay, as soon as she answered the phone I joked,

"What, so you want to take over the drama queen role in the family now?"

Silence.

"Beth?" I asked.

"They're giving me a C-section," she said very quietly. "I'm just broken."

I thought I was going to cry. I felt so bad for my younger sister. She had done everything in her power to get the birth she wanted, but no matter how much she planned or tried, God or the Universe or whatever, had much different plans. She had something called placental abruption. This is when the placenta separates from the uterine wall and the effects can be well, disastrous to both mother and baby. There was no other option than to have the C-section. Well, no other option that would keep my sister and the baby alive anyway.

There was nothing I could say to her to make her feel better. I knew the LAST thing she wanted to hear was "Well, the most important thing is a healthy baby." I mean, yes that is the ultimate goal. That is, of course, what she most wanted, but she had tried so hard to give birth the way her body was meant to, and she was losing that. All I could say to her was,

"That just sucks. I'm so sorry."

Lame, I know, but it was all I had. She soon got off the phone with me and went to have her baby. I waited about two hours for the call. My mom was calling me to see if I had heard. Megan was calling me too, but I was waiting just the same as they were. Finally around 6:30, Kevin called to give me the good news. Zach was no longer the lone boy in the family. My sister gave birth to Benjamin Alex on July 1st at 8:30pm.

When I talked to her a while later, she was happy. Her baby boy was here and healthy. Even though she was upset by the C-section, she knew there was nothing she could have done, unlike so many C-sections done today. Hers was a medical necessity. A true life or death situation.

I know the next few weeks will be hard on her physically and emotionally. I hope she can take comfort knowing that she did EVERYTHING she could to achieve a natural birth. So many woman end up with unnecessary C-sections today. So many don't even try for a VBAC after one and after two it's unheard of. A lot of doctors won't even talk about a vaginal birth after a C-section. Sure there is a risk for something to go wrong, but the risk is so small. Anyone having a baby is taking a risk anyway. You have no idea what it will do to your body and there are so many things can go wrong. I'm very proud of my sister for what she did and learned even if she didn't get to follow through. I really wish more woman would look into this option instead of just automatically scheduling a C-Section. For some reason woman think it's easier to get cut open and recover from surgery for two plus weeks than go through a days worth of bad-horrible pain, (depending on your drug option). Sure there is still some pain "down there" afterward, but it's nothing like getting cut open. I can say this with certainty, because I HAVE had it both ways. I would spend a day in labor WITHOUT drugs than ever get another C-Section. So if anyone reading this has gone through a C-section, consider your options the next time. Figure out if a C-section was truly what you needed. Consider finding a doctor who will support a more natural childbirth next time. You'll be happy you did. If nothing else, do it in memory of my sister's girly parts that never got to push a baby out. I still commend her for trying so hard, and admire her for going for something the majority didn't agree with. Sometimes the majority isn't right.

Hold on I have to get off my soap box now, it might take a minute.

Whew!

Anyway, yes Beth had a healthy baby in the end, but let's be honest, the more important thing here is not that she had a healthy baby or had a vaginal birth. The more important thing is that she had a BOY. (A boy she's keeping fully intact too, but that's soapbox for a different day. ) Now Zach doesn't have to play baby dolls and barbies at family reunions. I mean unless he wants to. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Congrats Beth, Kevin, Zach and Grace! Welcome to the (almost) all girl family little Benjamin!

The One in the Middle

Yesterday was my sweet Lana's third birthday. Since I started this blog at the end of May last year, she is the last birthday of my girls, therefore the last one I get to talk about coming into this world. Now, if you know me or have been reading this blog a while, you know Lana is my more... challenging one. She is a true middle child, from what I've been told. My easy going sister Beth, apparently, was not. This is probably why I was so thrown off by Lana.

I should have known from the beginning that she would be a force to be reckoned with, by how sick I was for the first FIVE months of my pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant, toward the end of July 2006, I figured the pregnancy would be easy. I'd spend the bigger part during the winter months, which in L. A. means 60 degrees. At least I wouldn't have to deal with a hot summer and being swollen like I was with Sonya. I didn't think about the fact that when you're nauseous, it's even worse to deal with heat. I didn't leave my house for the entire month of August. It was miserable and I didn't think the nagging nausea would ever end. The only things I could eat were pizza and grilled cheese. Nice diet, I know, but I was lucky to be able to eat something. Finally, around the beginning of October, the nausea and vomiting subsided and I felt like myself again. The rest of the pregnancy was uneventful, except for the low fluid toward the end. I ended up on "modified bed rest", which meant I was to be a couch potato as much as possible. That sounds fantastic, right? Sure, except I had a two year old to take care of. Oh, and a house that was having an addition added to it.

I tried my best to rest, but eventually my fluid became to low and they decided to induce me on March 20th. I was more favorable for induction than I had been with Sonya, so I was hoping things would go more smoothly. Most people opt for a scheduled C-section once they've had one, but I did not want to go that route. I really wanted to try for a vaginal birth after C-section, more commonly known as a VBAC. I didn't want to go through the surgery, and mostly the recovery again. I really wanted to have the experience of giving birth the way nature intended. Well with a few man made drugs thrown in. No need to get crazy!

Things did go better than they did with Sonya. They didn't have to turn off my pitocin every ten minutes, and I continued to progress. My doctors and nurses were really on board with my VBAC. They even pushed me when I thought I couldn't take it anymore and ASKED for the C-section. I did. I hit the wall and didn't want to deal with the labor anymore. Not that I could feel much, but what I could was starting to really wear on me. It had been 20 hours at that point, and I was done. I told them as much and the nurse said we would wait a bit more. Then when she came in and checked me and told me I was ready to go. I was immediately energized and had never been more excited. I had made it to ten centimeters!! Lucky for me, the pushing part was easy. From the time I started pushing to the time she came out was about all of 20 minutes.

She was screaming (as most babies are), but she just had a pissed off look on her face. I love my little Lana and she's absolutely adorable now, but well...let's just say she took a while to grow into herself. I didn't care, she was adorable to me cone headed and all. I had just pushed her out, damnit!

Then there was the issue of her name. We were pretty much all set to name her Holly. Despite the fact that Andy had an ex-girlfriend with that name. I've always liked the name and didn't really care about the ex, but when she came out we realized she was NOT a Holly. So for about a day she went without a name. We went back to our list and Lana was on my long list of names at one point, but Andy had never approved. When we went back over the list, he had a change of heart. Looking at her now, Lana is really the most suitable name for her, in both looks and personality.

For the first couple months she was a pretty good baby. Better than Sonya had been and we were thankful, because that addition project I mentioned, well, we were smack in the middle of it when she was born. We had to move out of the house for a month when she was six weeks old. Let me tell you about how much fun THAT was! We had to pack up our bedrooms and half our house to move to a furnished ONE BEDROOM where we all slept for a month. With a two year old. And a six week old. On the plus side, there was a pool.

After we moved back in the house, the quiet easy baby disappeared. At about 4 months, Lana would wake up screaming in the middle of the night arching her back. She was also a chronic spit upper. I thought something was really wrong with her. However, it wasn't as bad as I let the Internet websites lead me to believe, she only had acid reflux. It took us a month and a half to figure it out and help her with a little medication. She finally stopped screaming that is until I started starving her. Then she got cranky again. Turns out not every woman's body can accommodate breast feeding a baby while growing another one. Lana was only seven months old when I became pregnant with Georgia.

The Doctor was concerned when we went to her nine month checkup and she had gained half a pound in three months. Now, for those of you without babies-that's not a lot. Just to give you perspective. I immediately stopped breastfeeding her and put her on formula. She gained half a pound in just ONE week. Poor thing. You should know the only way to get the formula in her was to liquify her food with it, because she plain out REFUSED the bottle. My mom tried for two days to get her to take the bottle but she wouldn't, and if my mom couldn't do it, then it wasn't going to happen. Needless to say, Lana was not happy when the boobs got taken away. Something else she can blame Georgia for later in life.

The lack of weight gain led to blood tests and trips to the Los Angeles Children's Hospital. I knew it was probably my body just not making enough milk, but the doctor wanted to be sure. I am so thankful there was nothing seriously wrong with her to the point where the Children's Hospital became her second home. I feel so sad for those kids and families in there who that is the case for.

There was also the physical therapy we had her do, because she didn't seem to be on par with movement like other kids her age. This, again, wasn't because something was really wrong with her, but she just didn't want to. When she was ready, she did sit up, crawl, and walk. It was always on HER terms though. This was just Lana. She had a few bumps her first year, but nothing major. As it turns out she's just a stubborn little girl with a sassy diva attitude. I try to curb it as best I can, but it is her personality. Being in the middle only gives her more fuel. She's very smart, but not in the same way as Sonya. She knows how to get what she wants and when to give in. She'll decide if she wants to learn her letters or numbers when SHE'S ready and not before. Out of my three girls, she is the one I am worried most about in her teenage years and also the one I know will be most successful as an adult, because she will not take "no" for an answer. She will have all the boys wrapped around her little finger. That might actually be a good thing.

There is just something that draws people to her. I hear it all the time from friends and family. There is that fire that some people have, that makes you want to know them. Lana has that. Perhaps it's because she was born on the first day of spring. There is an old saying about spring coming in like a lion. Lana personifies that saying. She IS that lion. Only I don't think she'll be going out like a lamb anytime soon. I love her and her sisters incredibly, and look forward to watching each of them grow. However, Lana is the one I'm most interested in seeing how she will set the world on fire. I just hope it's not literally.

Happy Birthday Lana Drew, Lana Lu! I love you my sassy girl!