The Gene That Skipped A Generation

I like to have a neat and clean house.  I, however, do  not like to do things that I have to do to keep that house neat and clean, yet I do it anyway.  You see I was raised by Ann Taylor.  A woman who not only likes things to be neat, clean and orderly, but ENJOYS doing the cleaning and the organizing.  Yeah.  I know.  Crazy, right?

 My mother LOVES to clean.  I mean she really does.  When she's mad, she cleans, when she's nervous she cleans, when she's excited or happy...well you get where I'm going here.  It's her meditation of sorts.  We always like to hear the story of how she was up in the middle of the night before she and my dad got married scrubbing the floors of her mother's house. See what I mean? 

 When she and my dad came for Christmas this past year, I gave her the green light to clean out whatever she wanted, while Andy and I went to get massages.  You would have thought I handed her a giant Publisher's Clearing House check.  She was so excited.  And here is the even crazier part.  She is so damn fast.  In the three hours Andy and I were gone, she had cleaned out my pantry, kitchen drawers, cabinets in the bathroom and the laundry room and still had time to make a home cooked meal with pie for dessert, while doing a fun craft with the girls.  THREE HOURS!!  I can't even change all the sheets on the beds in that amount of time!  I just don't get it.  I swear there is a clone of her she hides somewhere. 

It is unfortunate that I did not get this love for cleaning gene.  I would rather give birth again than clean out someone else's kitchen, let alone my own.  I'm assuming it skips a generation, because as far as I know, my sisters are not so fond of doing the actual work it takes to get things to where they like them to be either.  We all bitch about cleaning and clutter on a daily basis.  There is one girl, however, who does seem to be a little more like her Nona, (my mom)  in my house.  My little Lana.

The day that my mom cleaned out all of those things in my house, Lana was right there to help her out.  WILLINGLY.  One of Lana's favorite things to do is clean out her closet.  I'm not kidding.  She will come to me on a random Thursday afternoon and ask if she can clean out her closet.  Ummmm....let me think about that a minute....Hells yeah!  Okay well maybe I leave the "hell" part out but you get it.  And she will not just reorganize things.  No, no.  She will take every last shoe out of that closet, dust bust any dirt and yuckiness left behind and put them all back in very neat pairs and rows.  Amazing.  Again -ALL ON HER OWN.  Now this is not something I have ever taught her or she's learned from her big sister.  Definitely not from Sonya.  Sonya is completely opposite.  Sonya hates to clean and organize and to be quite honest, doesn't understand why that pile of papers building on her desk since last August just can't stay there.  What?  It's her desk.  Those papers aren't bothering anyone. Sometimes she doesn't even see the clutter and mess I point out to her in her room.  

You think I'm exaggerating?  The child is thisclose to the Hoarders people coming in and taking over her room.  I finally decided at the beginning of the summer to try and put a stop to it.  As much as I wanted to be on TV at one point in my life, I don't want it to be because my daughter can't leave her apartment due to the newspapers piled up in front of her door.   I knew I had to teach her how to clean things out, and not just do it for her like I have in the past.  I had to teach her the ways of Ann Taylor, since she wasn't born with it like her sister. 

I set aside a day for us to clean out her room at the beginning of June.   Silly me thought it would take only a day to clean her entire room.  I had forgotten just how much crap she keeps.  It ended up taking us over a two week period.  Not every day mind you, but a day here and there.  I would say 4 1/2 days total.  I had to break it up for her, because you would have thought I told her, "Time to hang you upside down by your toenails for four hours!" the way she moaned and carried on.  Everyday we cleaned out a  different part of the room.  Bookshelves were one day, closet and under the bed another, and the desk needed a full day of love.  In the end we had three garbage bags of crap and two of things to be given away.  The good part was she LIKED  how her room looked after all was said and done.  She loved how neat it was and how everything had a place.  It was something she begrudgingly admitted to me of course, but admitted nonetheless.  Of course that did not stop her from immediately not putting things away in the right place just two days later.  Baby steps.  

Lana, however, is the kid who had a breakdown three weeks ago, because her clothes drawers were a mess and GG doesn't keep them neat after she fixes them and how is she supposed to put clothes away when they are always messy and what's the point of fixing it if GG messes them up again???  This was the exact thing she said to me.  Oh do I feel her pain.  Yet she turned around and organized them again anyway.  

So on Monday this week I told the girls we were cleaning the house.  My in-laws were coming on Tuesday and I've been wanting to clean out Lana and Georgia's room this summer, but just haven't had time.  No surprise since this is the first you're hearing from me in about a month.  Sonya immediately started whining and complaining, because she didn't want to.  Her desk was spiraling out of control again, but since we had just recently cleaned everything out, I knew it wouldn't take long to get it back to where it was.  Lana was excited and ready to get started.  Georgia falls somewhere in the middle right now.  She wants to be with Lana on this because they are so close, but she's not much for the hard work so she chose to pick a fight with Lana instead.  I ended up banning her from the room so we could get some work done.  She kinda got out of doing most of the work, which at this juncture was fine with me.  I will work on her next summer.   

Lana helped me clean out the toy box and then did the entire closet as she always does.  After her initial complaint fest, Sonya went into her room and did her desk all on her own.  She was even proud of it! It looks like I might have taught her something useful!  Those are always great moments when you realize that they took something from what you were trying to teach them.  I was so proud of her. I'm also so grateful that I have Lana who won't fight me on doing these things and in fact enjoys them.  

Later that night at dinner I commended everyone on the great job they did helping me out that day.  I said how much I appreciated them chipping in to do all that work, how great everything looked, and how impressed their grandparents would be.   Then I said something to Sonya about it not being all that bad to do the work if the final product looks so good like her clean desk.  She admitted I was right, but also said she still hated doing it.  

"I'm not like Lana, mom," she told me.  "She LIKES to do that stuff.  Lana has the gift of Nona."

Yes, I guess she does have the gift of Nona.  Which is good news for me because I can look forward to organized kitchen cabinets and closets in just a few short years without having to do the work myself.  And with the way Lana gets angry and upset, she may just have a career in cleaning out other people's crap.  Thanks for passing on your "gift" to my daughter mom!

Having Three Kids Is Finally Paying Off

Yesterday we had Georgia's birthday party, which I will tell you more about next post.  Let's just say it was a very Spidey birthday.  Even though she won't officially turn 5 until the end of this month,  we are going to be gone on a Disney Cruise then.  We decided to have her big 5 year old birthday party before we left.  Oh you didn't know we were going on a Disney Cruise?  Yes we are and we all can't wait! Well the girls and I can't.  Andy goes back and forth between being happy for vacation and having anxiety that the huge ship we will be sailing on will meet some kind of untimely demise.  To which I say-who cares!  At least I won't be cooking and cleaning beforehand.  Not only are we going on an amazing seven day cruise, but we are not paying for it.  My parents celebrate their 40th anniversary later this month and they have been saving for this cruise since before any of us had kids.  This is their gift to themselves and to us.  Yes, they ARE super awesome and you should be very jealous.  I will tell you all about it when we get back, but I digress.  This post wasn't supposed to be about making you jealous.  Well maybe it was, because what I will tell you is just as awesome.

Anyway-birthday party-right.  So we have to clean  the house before the party, of course.  I am Type A must have everything perfect for guests kind of person.  For years I did everything myself for these parties, with the help of my husband, while we propped the girls in the living room to stay out of the way with a DVD or some other form of television babysitting.  NO MORE!  They are ALL old enough now to help out.  Sonya has been helping more the past couple years, but now along with the other two they can do more.  So yesterday morning I made a list for them which included:

Clean the bathrooms
vacuum the living room
make your beds
switch over the laundry

HOLY CRAP!  I am my mother!  I remember my parents leaving us these lists on Saturday mornings while they went out to run errands.  We were older than my girls are now, when they would leave us, but I remember always having these lists and here I am passing them on to my kids.  I HATED it.  I used to complain that my parents only had us so they had someone to do their chores.  I didn't realize , of course, that we were the ones creating more mess to be cleaned up.  I get that now (Sorry mom)  and dammit, there is no reason for me to be doing everything when I have three Cinderellas helpful children running around.  So they did their list, and guess what? They didn't even hate it, and I didn't get any complaining.  Of course the idea of pizza and cake at the party probably fueled them but you  know, whatever works.   Don't worry I'm sure the complaints will come in time.  But wow was it great this time!  I got more done so much faster.  I wasn't as stressed and down to the wire as I usually am before a party.  I was able to delegate work that got done and even got done well.  Who knew!

vacuuming the living room

while Georgia did the kitchen

Lana insisted she do so vacuuming too...  OK!!

So yes, not only can you be jealous of me that I get to go on a free awesome vacation, but you can be jealous that I now have three free housekeepers living with me.  Don't worry though, I'm sure next time getting them to help won't go as well, and I will have to resort to bribing them with ponies again.  Good thing we will be able to afford it though since we aren't paying for this cruise.  (Thank you to my parents who are super fantastically awesome!  I can NOT wait until next week!!)  

Sad to Say Goodbye

We are halfway through our vacation now.  This morning we left my parents' place and made the 3 hour drive across the state of Florida to visit with my in-laws.  I can't believe it's half over already.  We all had a blast with Nona and Grampy.  Every day was filled with fun things like the water park, Lion Country Safari, the beach with a trip to the pool thrown in just about every day.  The weather has been cooperative and we've had gorgeous days so far.  I am so appreciative to my parents who made everything fun, and my mom who helped us with the girls so much, I actually felt like I was on vacation!  I am looking forward to the next few days too.  They promise to be filled with fun times celebrating Medz Papa's birthday and visiting with Andy's brother, David, his wife, Brenda and their kids, Brigid and Moira.  It will be great for the girls to visit with their cousins.  I just wanted to check in, give a shout out and share a little Lana story. 


 Yesterday, we came back from the beach at my parents house and went to their shower with the girls where we dumped out a quarter of the beach from their swimsuits.  As I was showering with them later, Lana was working hard to get all the sand, piled in the shower, to go down the drain.  I told her not to worry about it.  Then I  jokingly told her we needed to leave it so Nona would have something to do the next day. 


"Why do we need to leave something for Nona to do?" She asked confused.  


"Because she's going to be sad that we are gone," I tried to explain.


I knew after having all  of us there for four and a half days, my mom was going to be upset to see us go.  On top of that she doesn't have as much to do during the summer, since she is a school teacher and off right now. Plus my father would be working all day with a business dinner that night.  He wasn't going to be home until much later.  I knew my emotional mom, would have a rough time after we left, and when she is sad, angry, frustrated, nervous, or any one of a number of emotions, she gets through it by cleaning.  When I was a kid and would come home from school to unnecessary house cleaning, I knew to steer clear of my mom.   I was pretty sure by the time my dad got home on Monday night the house would be sparkling and smelling of Pinesol.  


"So she needs stuff to do?" Lana asked, still not clear on what I was getting at.


"Yeah, it will help her to keep her mind off of us being gone if she has things to clean, like the sand in the shower,"  I honestly did not intend for my offhanded comment to create this much conversation.  Lana kind of shrugged it off.  Then, after our shower, she told me that she wanted to make a picture for Nona so she wouldn't be sad.  So sweet.  


The girls spent almost the entire morning with my mom.  Eventually we had to leave, so we loaded up the car and headed out.  About fifteen minutes down the road, Lana said to me,


"Mommy?"


"Yes, Lana?"


"Did we leave something for Nona to do?" She asked concerned.  


I giggled then asked, "Are you worried that she's going to be sad?"


She nodded her head.


 "Don't worry Lana" I told her.  "She might be sad, but you guys left enough of a mess for her to clean up so hopefully that will keep her busy for the day."  Or in my mom's case, it might have kept her busy for about two hours.  


Thanks for the hospitality Mom and Dad!  We had a fantastic time!!  

A Cleaning Solution

Well, the summer is moving right along.  In just three and a half short weeks Sonya will be back in school. Yes, it is earlier than most schools, but they did get out before Memorial Day.  It's been a fun time on the one hand.  We've been able to go on little "field trips" to museums, the farm, and amusement parks, since nobody is in school.  It's also been difficult trying to figure out what kind of schedule we have every week between day camps, swim lessons and gymnastics.  There is one thing, however, that has been driving me absolutely crazy, just about every day.  The mess in the house.


I guess I should preface this by admitting that I'm a bit of a clean freak.  It's really my mother's fault. Our house was always immaculate when I was a kid, thanks to her.  When I was old enough, it was because my sisters and I cleaned it that way.  So I'm not really fond of messes and especially clutter.  Something we seem to accumulate easier because of how small our house is.  That and the fact that we've lived here almost nine years. 


Since the three girls are home all day long, the amount of toys that get taken out and played with,  is just about all of them.  Every day.  At the end of the day, I make them clean up their rooms. And that, that my friends is the worst part of all of this.  They seem to view the cleaning up the mess as a fate worse than taking away their ice cream.  You would think I was trying to pull out their toenails, the way they complain.  It's about this time that I start to lose my temper, and make all kind of empty threats like "summer fun will be over for you guys!" or,  "you're going to bed without stories" and my personal favorite, "I will put all of these toys in a trash bag and take them to the poor kids!" I've even pulled out a trash bag a time or two on that one.  I'm not proud that I do it, but I so can't help it.  I can't take the disorder, and I become incredibly frustrated when they start whining about having to clean up the gigantic mess that THEY made in the first place.  


Now I know you're probably wondering "how bad can it really be?"  I am here to tell you, you have NO IDEA.  Every morning they wake up and go into one of their rooms to start the day's destruction.  I'm either still in bed for a bit or doing my morning workout.  At first it was great that they were entertaining themselves and not asking to watch TV.  However, by week two of summer break I realized just how skilled they had become at tearing a room apart.  They will be up for about 45 minutes and I will walk in to find puzzles, books, babies, baby clothes, strollers, barbies and Little People piled up around their small room.  Don't even get me started on the day they decided to play tea party with actual water, cinnamon, and RED SPRINKLES.  


I force encourage them to go outside as much as possible to play, since it is summer and we have a blow up pool.  Eventually, they end up back inside and even more ready to ruin what hasn't been touched yet that day.  It's a no win situation.  I want them to play and I don't mind them taking everything out, as long as it gets put away with minimal problems.  Which is the problem.  That doesn't happen.  


Some of you I'm sure think I should just close the door to their rooms and ignore the eyesore.  Except that when you live in a small house and everything is on the same floor, ignoring the mess is really not much of an option.  And remember, clean freak here.  So I continue to fight them every night to clean up the chaos they made throughout the day.  While some days it's not quite as bad because we're not home, the days we are home, I don't think there is a toy left unturned.  I know some of you out there have had similar problems.  Isn't this an age old issue for all parents? Well,  I'm open to any motivators to getting my kids to clean up that anyone wants to throw at me.  I think I've tried them all, but who knows.  At least when school starts, part of the problem will be taken care of, because there won't be the time to create such destruction.  That's still three and a half weeks away though.  So until then...well, let's just say BevMo needs to have their 5cent wine sales more often.  

Finger Lickin' Clean

After eating lunch today, Lana gets down from the table to come find me outside hanging up some Christmas decorations.


"What are you doing mama?"


"Hanging these decorations up out here," I reply.  "Are you done with your lunch?"


"Yup."


"Did Medz Mama (my mother-in-law) wipe you off?" I ask.


"No," she says.


"Well, go in there and ask her to clean you up," I tell her.


Then she looks at me, licks all around her lips and says, "That's okay, I can lick myself clean instead."


Nice to know that my children are learning  hygiene from the cat.