Zachary's Choice

Most of the time my sister was here we did our best to make meals at home.  Let me tell you how crazy it is to prepare food for six kids.  I have no idea how John and Kate do it for eight, let alone the insane Duggars with their 19 or 20 or whatever it is they have now.  We did go out for a couple of meals, but we tried our best to save money, and our waistlines, by making sandwiches for lunch and putting together a healthy meal at dinner.  The good thing is that with the two of us together doing it, it did go a big quicker.  Perhaps those Mormons who have sister wives are on to something.

The last night they were here, we decided to make baked fish for dinner.  My nephew Zach, will eat everything, much like Sonya.  I never have to argue or cajole her to eat something like I do with Lana.  Gracie, however is Beth's Lana.  She will look at something and if it looks like she might not like it, she will turn her nose up at it.  So it was no surprise that halfway through the meal, Sonya and Zach were done and Gracie along with my two youngest were pushing food around their plates.  They were also very hyped up and giggly for some reason and in not much of an eating mood.  

I had  made rolls to go with our meal, but I never give my girls their roll until they've eaten a good portion of their dinner, otherwise that is all they will eat.  As it happened, I also had cake that I had bought from an awesome bakery here called Porto's, earlier in the day.  So the negotiations started.  The girls wanted a roll and cake, but they knew they weren't getting anything until they ate their meal.  Since Sonya and Zach had eaten their meals with no fight, we gave them a roll and then they sat patiently waiting for the picky girls to finish so they could have dessert.  

Eventually, I had to set the timer for them, because they were just not eating.  I knew once dessert came out they would all of a sudden become hungry.  We do NOT have dessert for dinner in my house.  They don't have to eat everything on their plate, but at least a good portion and all of their vegetables in order to get dessert.  After the ten minutes was up, all three had eaten enough to win them a piece of cake.  I know, I know, don't reward eating with dessert, but again, they had to eat their dinner to get it at all.  Plus we don't have dessert every night, so using it every once in a while isn't that bad.  

I got up to get everyone a piece of cake and Georgia said to me,

"Mom, do we get  woll AND cake or do we has to pick one?"

"No, you do not get both because you guys didn't do a good job eating on your own. You have to pick one," I told her.  This is the rule in our house.  If we are having rolls and dessert and I have to set the timer for them to eat, even if they do end up eating everything they can't have both things.  

"Okay," she said.  "I'll have cake den and no woll!"

"I figured," I said.  

About thirty seconds later I noticed Zach sitting in his chair with tears streaming down his face.  

"Zach?  What's wrong, buddy?"  I asked.  Was he sad to go home the next day?  Did someone hurt him?  I had no idea.  He was sitting there at the table just crying.  My sister walked over and tried to coax it out of him.

"Zach, buddy, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong," she tried.  

He sat there sobbing, still not talking.  

"Zach," she said.  "You need to talk and tell me please."  Apparently, he does this all the time.  He will get upset about something and just not tell her what it is.  I found out later, Beth knew exactly what he was going to say, but wanted him to get it out on his own.  Finally, between sobs he choked out,

"I already had a ROOOOLLLLLL!!!!"  Then he cried harder.  

What? At first I couldn't figure out what he was talking about then it hit me.  Oh!  My rule to the girls of not getting both roll and dessert.  He thought he wasn't getting cake because he had already eaten a roll.  

"Oh no, no Zach!" I said.  "That wasn't a rule for you and Sonya, because you guys ate your dinner without any problems.  The little girls didn't so they have to chose which they want.  Don't worry buddy, you still get a piece of cake. "  I assured him.

He immediately stopped crying, wiped his tears, sniffed and said, 

"Oh, can I have a  piece of chocolate then!"  

And that was it, back to being happy.  It was the shortest emotional outburst I've ever seen.  Something very different from what I experience with my emotional roller coaster queens on a daily basis.  Poor thing thought he lost his chocolate cake because of eating a roll.  I have to say, I can't blame him.  If I thought I had given up cake for a roll, I would have been crying too.  

Put Me In Coach

I felt that after writing about Zach's little accident, I should give you a less... well, gross story about my nephew.  This is the one I was originally going to write about, but when Sunday happened, I just couldn't ignore that gem!  I'm all about the funny.  This story is more about the sweet, which I do also like.  


Zach plays T-ball and his games are on Saturday.  That meant I was going to see him play a game, which was exciting for me, since I don't have any boys.  I will probably at some point, sign Sonya up for T-ball or softball, because she is pretty good at throwing, hitting and catching.  Her father has taught her well.  But let's be honest, she'll never go very far with it, because she's a girl. Well, I mean never as far as I like to daydream about one of my nephews going.  (Playing for the Red Sox).  Sure she could play softball for a long time, but basically she'll never make money doing it.  My nephews are the only ones who have that potential.  Plus Kevin was a baseball player for a while when he was younger, so hopefully he passed that gene down.    


I've mentioned before that Zach is a little rough and like all kids has some bad days.  I guess during one of his practices earlier that week, he had one of those days.  Another kid on the team and Zach weren't getting along so well.  So much so that the coach had to come over to my sister's house to have a chat about Zach's behavior.  He did go to the other kid's house as well.  When Saturday came, they weren't sure what kind of game Zach was going to have.  They had given him a "talking to" about playing the game correctly with good behavior, but you can never be sure what kids actually listen to and follow, until you're in the situation. 


As it turns out, he had taken whatever my sister had said to heart.  At least for that game.  He hit well, kept his hands to himself, except when he was trying to catch a ball, and ran as hard as he could.  That has apparently been a problem.  He likes to mosey to first base after his hits, instead of hustling.  Perhaps he paid too much attention to Manny Ramirez's base running when he played for the Red Sox. Zach even scored two runs for his team.   All in all he was doing great.  


There was the time, however, when he was playing first base and one of his teammates threw the ball from second for Zach to catch and get the runner out.  Turns out Zach wasn't really looking in the direction the ball had gone, or was being thrown from.  Instead it hit him on the shoulder and bounced up on to his cheek.  Okay, I admit I laughed, but only because he wasn't really hurt.  In fact he could have cared less.  This is totally normal of little kids playing T-ball though.  There were many kids not paying attention at the right times, so it wasn't a big deal.  


At the end of the game the coach gathered the team on the bench to give them their pep talk.  I'm not sure who even won or lost.  I don't think they really count that at this age.  The coach was saying how they did a great job that day and to keep it up.  Then he called out Zach.  Zach turned and looked at him with a terrified expression that said, "Shit-what did I do now?" Coach called him over to stand in front of him.  Then he praised Zach for the great job he did that day and presented him with the game ball for being such a team player.   Zach grinned from ear to ear and I started to tear up.  He's not even my kid and I wanted to cry!  What is with my overemotional mom tears?  I guess it's because I've heard my sister talk about how tough it is with him sometimes.  I know how awesome it was that he did something so right, he was rewarded with something so special.   It's a good thing I was there too, because I had my camera out to capture the moment, since my sister didn't.  Nice going, Beth!  


It was so much fun to see him play and especially see him get the game ball.  I'm just happy I was there for it, so that someday when he IS playing for the Red Sox, I can tell everyone  I was there when he had his very first best game ever.  Nice going Zachary!  I will buy season tickets to whoever you play for.  Unless it's the Yankees.  Then we may have a problem.  

A Lesson On Raising a Boy

Well, I'm back from my east coast getaway!  My girls are all still in one piece and the house is still standing.  Andy did an excellent job as stay at home Daddy for the four days I was gone.  They all did miss me too, which was nice.  I missed them as well.  Especially when I called to check in and both Lana and Georgia burst into tears at the sound of my voice.  I almost broke down myself.  Still, they survived and when I came back yesterday they were thrilled to see me.  Today we're back to the routine and it's like I never left.  I do feel re-energized though and more like good Mommy, instead of burnt out Mommy.


It was so much fun to see my sister, her husband, and their kids.  They were great for the first couple days I was there.  Zach had a bit of a rough day on Monday though.  I decided then I was ready to go home and deal with my kids and their own brand of bad behavior.  I wasn't used to dealing with a boy.  Gracie I knew how to handle, because if she got upset it was the same behavior I deal with at home.  Whining and crying.  Although, my girls could teach her a thing or two in that department.  She's quiet compared to them.  However, the boy thing always throws me.  They are just different.  Zach is more rough, there really isn't much crying and no whining.  Boys are also a little more um...gross.  I figured since I spent the last few days with my sister's kids, this post could be about them.  Or more accurately Zach, and the fun time we had with him on Sunday afternoon.  Fair Warning: there will be talk of poop in this post.  


On Sunday, my sister planned for us to drive up to Charlottesville, VA to go apple picking and wine tasting.  Since we don't get to go apple picking here in Southern CA and I'm always up for wine tasting, it sounded like a great time to me.  The weather was perfect for that kind of day too.  Better than what I would have dealt with here at home. (110 degree heat! YUCK!!) There it was cloudy and cool.  It felt like fall was in the air.  We went to the apple orchard and walked down the hill to the apples we were told to pick.  Beth had baby Ben in a baby carrier, and I held on to Gracie's hand while Zach ran ahead of us.  We filled our plastic bags with pounds of Jonagold apples.  We also sampled some of them while we picked.  The kids sampled quite a few.  I think I counted about four different apples that Gracie had munched on.  They never fully finished them, but it was still a lot of apple.   If you're not aware, apples have a quite a bit of fiber.  Fiber which can help make one... well poop better.  Or sometimes maybe too much.


We got done with our apple picking and headed over to a place for lunch just down the street.  They had a buffet of southern fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans etc.  Yeah, I didn't eat so healthy this weekend and my scale, as a result, is not being so friendly.  Looks like I'll be pumping up the P90X this week. Anyway, We had lunch with friends of Beth's who met us up there and had brought their two boys along. After our really unhealthy, but so damn tasty lunch, we went off to find a couple nearby wineries.  


Now, I had never been wine tasting with kids before.  Apparently my sister had.  I wasn't quite sure how well this would work, but it was actually OK.  These particular wineries did have big open spaces outside for the kids to run around while we had our wine.  So we took turns wine tasting and watching the kids as they raced around.  


Zach and his friend Matthew were racing each other back and forth across a big open lawn, while my sister and her friend bought a couple bottles of wine after our  first tasting.  As we headed to the car to find the next winery, Kevin mentioned to Beth that Zach might have had an accident.   Beth asked Kevin what he was talking about. He informed her that while Zach was running around he heard a loud "ppppttthhhaattt" come from Zach's behind.  Then he slowed down running and started to move a little funny.  That's when Kevin noticed something wet on his jeans, and had hoped Zach had just sat down on something wet, but instinct told him different.  It wasn't too long after that we headed to the car and Kevin felt he should tell Beth, before Zach sat down in his car seat.  I looked at the back of Zach's pants and sure enough there was a big wet spot .  


"Yup there's a wet spot on his jeans," I told Beth.  "But since he's not my kid, I'm not confirming if it's poop or not.  All yours!"  I said and walked away.  I did however, change Gracie's poopy diaper.  That seemed like the better deal to me.  


Kevin took the bullet and found that it did indeed smell like poop on his jeans.  


"Zach!  What happened?" Beth asked.  


Zach just ignored this questioned and tried to make his way to his car seat, but Beth grabbed him and tried to talk to him again.  He wouldn't tell her anything, most likely from embarrassment, so Beth had to take off his pants and find out what happened herself.  


What had happened to Zach is something that has happened to most of us at one point or another, no doubt.  It's what we like to refer to as a "shartShart combines two words together, in case you're wondering.  This is what happened to Zach, as he was running around after being filled with apples and fried chicken.  


Now you're probably wondering, "how did it get on his jeans though?  Wouldn't underwear catch that?"  Ah yes, that would have been the case, if he had been WEARING ANY.  Zach had decided that morning, while getting dressed, to not put on any underwear, unbeknownst to us.  Actually the night before, when he was getting ready for bed, he took them off to put on his PJs.  I asked Beth about it at the time and she said it was fine.  Then when he dressed himself the next morning, he decided to go commando.  There was nothing to catch what came out besides his jeans.  


At this point Beth started scrambling to  figure out what to do.  Zach is almost five, so she doesn't keep extra clothes for him in the diaper bag anymore.  The options were, stay in the gross jeans or go naked.  Neither one was really a good option.  Then I spot on the floor of the van a plastic bag with some clothes.  I grabbed it and pulled out a pair of jeans, with the tags still on, in a size 5.  


"What are these?" I asked Beth.


"Oh, I forgot about those.  Jeans I was going to take back because they were too big for him," She said.


"Well, he'll grow into them eventually," I said, tossing them to her.  


She got him cleaned up and the new jeans on, sans underwear of course, and we were on our way. Beth, Kevin and I couldn't help laughing at the situation the whole way to the next winery.  


Zach was fine for the rest of the day.  Beth told him he didn't have any underwear on and we were out of jeans, so he better be careful.  Then that evening as Kevin was getting the kids ready for their bath it happened again.   Zach, was peeing, standing up as boys do, when he had to pass gas again.  This time there was nothing to catch what came out.  Let's just say, Beth had to clean up the bathroom floor with some Clorox wipes.  I know, ewwwww, but I warned you before you read this.  I think that time I laughed so hard I almost sharted myself.  Kevin was completely grossed out because he actually watched it happen.  EWWWWW!


 See this is a situation I highly doubt I would ever encounter with any of my girls, mostly because they would not go without underwear.  That is something guys can get away with...unless this happens.  I do thank Zach for giving me this story though.  It gave me a "mom of a boy" viewpoint for once.  I'm sure there are those of you out there who will appreciate that.  In the end, I think the lesson here is be careful how many apples you feed your children.  Or at  the very least,  make sure they're wearing underwear if it's going to be a lot.