Some of you may have noticed the lovely new picture of the girls. It is, once again, courtesy of my friend BethAnnDoddKoehn. She takes awesome pictures. Here are a few more of the ones she took of the girls that day. If you live in or around the Southern California area (mostly San Diego), please contact her to take awesome pictures of your family. You can check her out here on Facebook. Thanks BethAnnDoddKoehn!! (The rest of you can just call her Beth.)
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Weekend Getaway
This past weekend, Andy and I were in a wedding about four hours north of Los Angeles. Well, I was a bridesmaid and he actually performed the wedding. He got ordained on line a few months back. My husband-a minister! It's kinda funny. Anyway, we decided a while ago that we weren't going to take the girls with us. Instead we were going to have a fun weekend away, just the two of us. I asked my parents if they would fly out to take care of the girls and to say they were excited to do it, would be an understatement.
My parents live in Florida, as do my in-laws. So, we don't have anyone near by who we can rely on to come watch the girls for a weekend if need be. Sometimes it really sucks. A few years back my in-laws made a trip with us up north for a different wedding we attended. They took care of the girls in the hotel, while Andy and I went to the festivities. That time we couldn't leave the girls alone, because Georgia was only 3 weeks old and nursing. This time, however, my girls are all fairly self sufficient and easier to care for. Leaving them for a weekend wouldn't be an impossible task. Well, except for the missing them part. Andy and I hadn't been away together since before Sonya was born, so it was something we definitely needed. It was generous of my parents to fly all the way from Florida, just to watch the girls for one weekend, but I think in some ways they were more excited to come do that, than we were to go away alone.
The weekend was going to be a busy one for them. Sonya had a very early baseball game Saturday morning, and baseball pictures in the afternoon. She was also hoping Nona and Grampy would take them all to the farm one day, to pick strawberries and vegetables. That kid loves the farm. Add in shopping at the outlets for clothes, and they had themselves quite a full weekend. I was a little worried about them driving all over Los Angeles, but then again, we drove all over the world when I was a kid, WITHOUT a GPS, so I knew my father could handle it. I did make a book full of maps with a schedule and they had the Garmin as a back up. They did great. They made it to everything, probably more on time than we do, and had a blast the entire weekend. Sure they gave the girls every treat they asked for. They also took them shopping at Toys R Us, after going out to dinner with Great Grandpa and his fiancee(yes, fiancee! More on that another time). That is what Grandparents are supposed to do though. I remember when I was a kid, my Noni would give us Tasty cakes and milk when we got to her house at 10pm at night. God forbid if my mom would have told her not to. I seemed to have turned out okay, so I'm sure a little spoiling every now and then won't hurt them.
The most important thing was the girls were happy and safe. They really didn't even miss us. I was afraid that when we called to talk to them, at least one of them (Lana) would start crying. They could have cared less really. I'm sure some of that comes from the fact that they're older and know that eventually we will return, but the other part of that is they felt cared for and loved by their Grandparents. They don't get to see them all that often, two maybe three times a year. Usually when they do, I'm always around, so it's not the same. My parents said they were excellent all weekend, without one problem or issue. Of course they were! They are always better for everyone else. I suppose that is good though. Better to have them lose it with me, even if it doesn't seem fair since I am the one who takes care of them ALL THE TIME, but whatever.
As for Andy, me and our weekend getaway. We had also had a fabulous time. The wedding was fun and Andy did a great job marrying our friends. Perhaps he can make extra money doing this on the side. Anyone need an officiant for their wedding? We had a hot spring hot tub on the balcony of our room that we made use of and got to sleep late. For real sleep late, not try to lay in bed while we hear the girls playing and fighting. That was good, since I may have had a tad too much wine at the wedding. And after the wedding. We enjoyed being alone, or at least without kids, for an entire weekend for the first time in over seven years. We'll just say what happened at the Paso Robles Inn, stayed at the Paso Robles Inn.
I took my parents to the airport on Monday morning, and Georgia and Lana were with me. They said their goodbyes and were sad they were leaving, but seemed okay with it. Then after school on Monday Lana's teacher said she cried twice during school because she was sad Nona and Grampy were gone. She didn't cry when I left for the weekend, of course, but was a mess when my parents left. Nice. It's okay, I'm glad that they all had such a great time. It makes me feel less guilty about leaving them for the weekend.
Thank you to my awesome parents for coming all the way from Florida, on their dime, to take care of their Grandchildren. Thank you for all the clothes you bought for them and for making sure they were happy and safe and yes, spoiled. My kids are so lucky to have two sets of Grandparents who are so willing to help out in any way they can. Again why it sucks that you are all so far away, otherwise we would do these weekends waaayy more often!
My parents live in Florida, as do my in-laws. So, we don't have anyone near by who we can rely on to come watch the girls for a weekend if need be. Sometimes it really sucks. A few years back my in-laws made a trip with us up north for a different wedding we attended. They took care of the girls in the hotel, while Andy and I went to the festivities. That time we couldn't leave the girls alone, because Georgia was only 3 weeks old and nursing. This time, however, my girls are all fairly self sufficient and easier to care for. Leaving them for a weekend wouldn't be an impossible task. Well, except for the missing them part. Andy and I hadn't been away together since before Sonya was born, so it was something we definitely needed. It was generous of my parents to fly all the way from Florida, just to watch the girls for one weekend, but I think in some ways they were more excited to come do that, than we were to go away alone.
The weekend was going to be a busy one for them. Sonya had a very early baseball game Saturday morning, and baseball pictures in the afternoon. She was also hoping Nona and Grampy would take them all to the farm one day, to pick strawberries and vegetables. That kid loves the farm. Add in shopping at the outlets for clothes, and they had themselves quite a full weekend. I was a little worried about them driving all over Los Angeles, but then again, we drove all over the world when I was a kid, WITHOUT a GPS, so I knew my father could handle it. I did make a book full of maps with a schedule and they had the Garmin as a back up. They did great. They made it to everything, probably more on time than we do, and had a blast the entire weekend. Sure they gave the girls every treat they asked for. They also took them shopping at Toys R Us, after going out to dinner with Great Grandpa and his fiancee(yes, fiancee! More on that another time). That is what Grandparents are supposed to do though. I remember when I was a kid, my Noni would give us Tasty cakes and milk when we got to her house at 10pm at night. God forbid if my mom would have told her not to. I seemed to have turned out okay, so I'm sure a little spoiling every now and then won't hurt them.
The most important thing was the girls were happy and safe. They really didn't even miss us. I was afraid that when we called to talk to them, at least one of them (Lana) would start crying. They could have cared less really. I'm sure some of that comes from the fact that they're older and know that eventually we will return, but the other part of that is they felt cared for and loved by their Grandparents. They don't get to see them all that often, two maybe three times a year. Usually when they do, I'm always around, so it's not the same. My parents said they were excellent all weekend, without one problem or issue. Of course they were! They are always better for everyone else. I suppose that is good though. Better to have them lose it with me, even if it doesn't seem fair since I am the one who takes care of them ALL THE TIME, but whatever.
As for Andy, me and our weekend getaway. We had also had a fabulous time. The wedding was fun and Andy did a great job marrying our friends. Perhaps he can make extra money doing this on the side. Anyone need an officiant for their wedding? We had a hot spring hot tub on the balcony of our room that we made use of and got to sleep late. For real sleep late, not try to lay in bed while we hear the girls playing and fighting. That was good, since I may have had a tad too much wine at the wedding. And after the wedding. We enjoyed being alone, or at least without kids, for an entire weekend for the first time in over seven years. We'll just say what happened at the Paso Robles Inn, stayed at the Paso Robles Inn.
I took my parents to the airport on Monday morning, and Georgia and Lana were with me. They said their goodbyes and were sad they were leaving, but seemed okay with it. Then after school on Monday Lana's teacher said she cried twice during school because she was sad Nona and Grampy were gone. She didn't cry when I left for the weekend, of course, but was a mess when my parents left. Nice. It's okay, I'm glad that they all had such a great time. It makes me feel less guilty about leaving them for the weekend.
Thank you to my awesome parents for coming all the way from Florida, on their dime, to take care of their Grandchildren. Thank you for all the clothes you bought for them and for making sure they were happy and safe and yes, spoiled. My kids are so lucky to have two sets of Grandparents who are so willing to help out in any way they can. Again why it sucks that you are all so far away, otherwise we would do these weekends waaayy more often!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Breaking The Law
I've been pulled over three times in the 22 years I've been driving. (Wait a second-22 years? REALLY?! I AM getting old!) As I was saying, I've been pulled over twice for speeding, and once for rolling through a stop sign. Every time I've been pulled over I've been given a ticket. That is until today.
This morning, I had to take Georgia to school because Andy had to leave a bit early. Then my plan was to drop Lana off at Angelina's and go get my nails done for the wedding I'm in this weekend. I was late taking Georgia, and on the way there I realized I forgot to call my friend who picks Sonya up on Thursdays. I needed to tell her to not pick Sonya up today. I grabbed my cell to call her, because I was afraid if I didn't do it right then I'd forget. My memory works that way, which means it doesn't work very well at all. Now I know the law in the state of California is that it is illegal to use your cell phone when driving. There are some states that haven't passed that law yet, but I do live in one that has. I know this. The fact is I rarely use my phone in the car, unless it is for a quick call. I don't have a bluetooth, and my car is not set up for one the way Andy's is. I knew the call would be quick, but I know that is no excuse. Still, I did it anyway.
I couldn't have been on more than 45 seconds. It was just long enough to tell her don't pick Sonya up today, goodbye. That was all it took for the police officer in the car RIGHT NEXT TO ME see it. Too bad I didn't see him. I had to make a right turn and that's when I saw him pull up to turn behind me. At first I thought, or I was just hoping, he had decided to turn too. He wasn't behind me to pull me over was he? For what? The phone? I hadn't been on long enough for him to even see, had I? Then I took the right turn, and he follows with his lights on. Perhaps he had noticed the phone call. DAMN!
I pulled my car to the curb in front of Ralph's and CVS and Lana started questioning me.
"Why are we parking here? Aren't we late to take GG to school?"
"Yes, Lana, but the police man wants me to pull over so he can talk to me," I told her.
"Why?" She asked.
"Not sure. We will soon find out," I said.
He walked up to my car, asked for my license and registration then asked if I knew why he pulled me over. Not wanting to admit to anything that he might not have seen, I said I didn't. Then he asked if I was aware that it was illegal to talk on a cell phone while driving in California. Oh THAT?! Yes, well, I wasn't on but a few seconds and I really never used my cell in the car, I swear and I'm so sorry!
"Okay," he said, taking my information. "I'll be right back."
He actually seemed like a really nice police officer and for half of a second I thought he might let it go. But then I saw him walk to his cruiser and pull out his paperwork to do what I knew he would. What happens every time I get pulled over. I am never one of those lucky ones who gets away with warnings, or a slap on the wrist and a "don't do it again". Nope, I always get the ticket. As I sat there, upset with myself, the girls started asking questions again.
"What is he doing? Are you in trouble? Do you have to go to jail?"
"He is writing mommy a ticket, because I talked on the phone in the car and you're not supposed to do that," I explained. "That was wrong of mommy to do, so yes, I'm getting in trouble, but no I'm not going to jail."
After the kid inquisition, I sat there wondering how much this was going to cost and how I was going to mention it to Andy. Crap. This sucked. Even twenty years later I had to worry about telling someone about getting a ticket.
Then something awesome happened. The officer walked up to my window, ticket in hand with my license and registration. I assumed he was coming to explain it to me and have me sign it. Instead he said,
"This is going to cause me a whole bunch of paperwork, because I already started writing it, but I just can't give you a ticket the day after your birthday!"
WHAT? You mean you're LETTING ME GO??? With only one of those warnings that everyone else I know gets? How fantastic are you??!!
And he really was. He wasn't one of those jerky cops, but a nice guy who policed the small city of Burbank. I thanked him profusely, promised I would NOT be doing that again. He told me stories of accidents scenes he's called to and how nine times out of ten, the person has been talking or texting. I told him I did know better and was wrong. I thanked him again, he handed me my license and I was off. I couldn't believe it! I actually got out of a ticket for the first time ever!
I did learn my lesson though. I didn't dare even look at my phone for the rest of the day in the car. Then on my trip to Target, I bought a bluetooth headset, just in case I do need to make any kind of quick call. I set a bad example for my girls once, I didn't need to do it again. And see, I didn't even need the ticket to learn my lesson, warnings and second chances really do work on people like me.
This morning, I had to take Georgia to school because Andy had to leave a bit early. Then my plan was to drop Lana off at Angelina's and go get my nails done for the wedding I'm in this weekend. I was late taking Georgia, and on the way there I realized I forgot to call my friend who picks Sonya up on Thursdays. I needed to tell her to not pick Sonya up today. I grabbed my cell to call her, because I was afraid if I didn't do it right then I'd forget. My memory works that way, which means it doesn't work very well at all. Now I know the law in the state of California is that it is illegal to use your cell phone when driving. There are some states that haven't passed that law yet, but I do live in one that has. I know this. The fact is I rarely use my phone in the car, unless it is for a quick call. I don't have a bluetooth, and my car is not set up for one the way Andy's is. I knew the call would be quick, but I know that is no excuse. Still, I did it anyway.
I couldn't have been on more than 45 seconds. It was just long enough to tell her don't pick Sonya up today, goodbye. That was all it took for the police officer in the car RIGHT NEXT TO ME see it. Too bad I didn't see him. I had to make a right turn and that's when I saw him pull up to turn behind me. At first I thought, or I was just hoping, he had decided to turn too. He wasn't behind me to pull me over was he? For what? The phone? I hadn't been on long enough for him to even see, had I? Then I took the right turn, and he follows with his lights on. Perhaps he had noticed the phone call. DAMN!
I pulled my car to the curb in front of Ralph's and CVS and Lana started questioning me.
"Why are we parking here? Aren't we late to take GG to school?"
"Yes, Lana, but the police man wants me to pull over so he can talk to me," I told her.
"Why?" She asked.
"Not sure. We will soon find out," I said.
He walked up to my car, asked for my license and registration then asked if I knew why he pulled me over. Not wanting to admit to anything that he might not have seen, I said I didn't. Then he asked if I was aware that it was illegal to talk on a cell phone while driving in California. Oh THAT?! Yes, well, I wasn't on but a few seconds and I really never used my cell in the car, I swear and I'm so sorry!
"Okay," he said, taking my information. "I'll be right back."
He actually seemed like a really nice police officer and for half of a second I thought he might let it go. But then I saw him walk to his cruiser and pull out his paperwork to do what I knew he would. What happens every time I get pulled over. I am never one of those lucky ones who gets away with warnings, or a slap on the wrist and a "don't do it again". Nope, I always get the ticket. As I sat there, upset with myself, the girls started asking questions again.
"What is he doing? Are you in trouble? Do you have to go to jail?"
"He is writing mommy a ticket, because I talked on the phone in the car and you're not supposed to do that," I explained. "That was wrong of mommy to do, so yes, I'm getting in trouble, but no I'm not going to jail."
After the kid inquisition, I sat there wondering how much this was going to cost and how I was going to mention it to Andy. Crap. This sucked. Even twenty years later I had to worry about telling someone about getting a ticket.
Then something awesome happened. The officer walked up to my window, ticket in hand with my license and registration. I assumed he was coming to explain it to me and have me sign it. Instead he said,
"This is going to cause me a whole bunch of paperwork, because I already started writing it, but I just can't give you a ticket the day after your birthday!"
WHAT? You mean you're LETTING ME GO??? With only one of those warnings that everyone else I know gets? How fantastic are you??!!
And he really was. He wasn't one of those jerky cops, but a nice guy who policed the small city of Burbank. I thanked him profusely, promised I would NOT be doing that again. He told me stories of accidents scenes he's called to and how nine times out of ten, the person has been talking or texting. I told him I did know better and was wrong. I thanked him again, he handed me my license and I was off. I couldn't believe it! I actually got out of a ticket for the first time ever!
I did learn my lesson though. I didn't dare even look at my phone for the rest of the day in the car. Then on my trip to Target, I bought a bluetooth headset, just in case I do need to make any kind of quick call. I set a bad example for my girls once, I didn't need to do it again. And see, I didn't even need the ticket to learn my lesson, warnings and second chances really do work on people like me.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
38
So, yeah. Today is my birthday. Yay. And yes I am 38. Not a fabulous age or birthday. Still a couple years from 40 with is both good, because I'm not ready for 40 and bad, because at least 40 is a big deal.
It's not that I hate getting older necessarily. It does freak me out because as I get older I realize that my life could be half over. On the other hand, getting older has made me more comfortable with myself. I know who I am and my strengths, weaknesses, and all my craziness. I'm okay with all of it. I understand people and situations better. I feel like I'm getting wiser with each year, but am also smart enough to know there is still more I could learn. I am also okay with where I am, because, and not to brag, but I am in better shape than I've been in for years. Well, except for the boobs. Those will never be what they were without surgical help. Since we don't have an extra few thousand dollars laying around, I will just have to rely on the good people at Victoria's Secret to make them look better. But besides that, I am in great shape from all the hard work I've put in, working out and watching what I eat. It's not always easy with three kids, but they are all at an age now where I can concentrate on myself just a little bit. I feel good about it. So even though I'm getting older, at least I'm holding it together. For the time being anyway. Either way, getting older isn't that bad. As my Pop-pop used to say, "beats the hell out of the alternative."
It's not that I hate getting older necessarily. It does freak me out because as I get older I realize that my life could be half over. On the other hand, getting older has made me more comfortable with myself. I know who I am and my strengths, weaknesses, and all my craziness. I'm okay with all of it. I understand people and situations better. I feel like I'm getting wiser with each year, but am also smart enough to know there is still more I could learn. I am also okay with where I am, because, and not to brag, but I am in better shape than I've been in for years. Well, except for the boobs. Those will never be what they were without surgical help. Since we don't have an extra few thousand dollars laying around, I will just have to rely on the good people at Victoria's Secret to make them look better. But besides that, I am in great shape from all the hard work I've put in, working out and watching what I eat. It's not always easy with three kids, but they are all at an age now where I can concentrate on myself just a little bit. I feel good about it. So even though I'm getting older, at least I'm holding it together. For the time being anyway. Either way, getting older isn't that bad. As my Pop-pop used to say, "beats the hell out of the alternative."
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Young Love In Old People
I've talked about my Grandfather on this blog before. Today he turns 85. He is my last Grandparent alive, and I am lucky enough to live near him, so that my girls get a chance to know him. A year and a half ago, he lost my Grandmother, his wife of over 60 years. Although, she's only been gone two years, it's emotionally been longer than that for him. She developed Alzheimer's several years before her passing, and didn't know him or anyone else for a good portion of that time. Grandpa has been lonely for a quite a while. After she passed, he spent most of his days in a chair in the room he lives in at my uncle's house, either sleeping or watching TV. It seemed like he was just "waiting for his time". Then something happened. Something I never thought I'd see. My 85 year old Grandfather got himself a girlfriend.
Grandpa usually comes to visit us at least once a month. He likes to see the girls, and he and I chat and catch up for about an hour, before he heads back home. It was during one of these visits that he told me about this lady who kept saving him seats next to her at church functions. She saved him a seat after a wedding and at a Christmas celebration. He told me how she had tracked him down at the Christmas party to make sure he knew that she had a seat saved next to her.
"Um, Grandpa," I said. "I think she might like you."
"Well.... maybe," he agreed.
"Ask her out then!" I told him.
"Well, I was thinking about it, but she lives in Burbank and it's far to drive..." he said.
"Grandpa! You drive here to see us!!" I reminded him. "Why not come here to see her?"
He chuckled and said, "Well, maybe."
"Yes, do it!" I encouraged him. "Why not? It would be good for you to have someone to hang out with."
After Christmas, I didn't hear from him for a while. At the end of last year he had talked about going to visit my parents in Florida in January like he had the year before. They never heard from him. Then he called me in February one day to see if I was at home. He was in Burbank, and wanted to stop by. Apparently, he had taken my advice and for the past month and a half had been driving to Burbank at least twice a week to see Matea. He wanted to bring her by and introduce her to me and the girls. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of one of my crazy drive all over Burbank for gymnasticgirlscoutpianobaseball days and wasn't going to be home. I told him to let me know ahead of time when he'd be in town again, so I could make sure we could meet up. Otherwise, I told him to bring her to Lana's birthday party the next month. How was I to know how that disaster of a day would turn out? Unfortunately, that is what he ended up doing.
I don't know if any of you remember that story of Lana's awesome birthday party, but it was not a friendly environment for a couple in their 80's. Between the rain outside and the extreme noise inside, they weren't looking to stay for too long. Can't say I blamed them. I did manage to say hi and meet her for a brief minute. I was able to grab each of the girls for ten seconds to introduce them and then they were off. Grandpa and Matea went to the living room, had cake and then excused themselves about twenty minutes later. I felt bad but there was not much I could do except invite them over again in more calm and quiet circumstances.
So last week Grandpa and his girlfriend stopped by for a visit. The girls were all here and they had a little more time to show off their cuteness and yes, more of their craziness. Matea didn't seem to be bothered by the antics of my girls, and I had a chance to talk and get to know her. Turns out she was born and raised in Burbank. She also raised her four kids here. She is a very sweet woman and likes Grandpa A LOT. They sat on the couch next to each other, holding hands and making googly eyes the entire time they were here. If they weren't so much older it would have been annoying, but I gotta admit, Geriatric love is adorable.
They left after about an hour or so. I gave Grandpa a birthday card with a gift certificate to one of five different restaurants. He was excited and announced that he had wanted to take her to one of those places. I was excited he had someone to go with him out to eat again. He was happier than I've seen him in years. It sounds cheesy, but there is a certain spark in his eye. He's found a reason to keep going, and I couldn't be happier.
After they left, that night at dinner Sonya said to me,
"Hey mom, if Great-Grandpa and Matea get married, will she be my Great-Grandma?"
"Well, yeah sort of. She'll be your step Great-Grandma," I informed her. "Is that okay with you if that happens?"
"Oh yeah!" she said, excited at the prospect at another grandparent around.
I am also okay with this idea. My Grandpa and Matea were both concerned with how their families were going to react to their dating, but as far as I can tell, at least on Grandpa's side, we are all so very happy for him. He's brought up the subject of getting married to her a couple times to me. Sure it's only been four months, but as he said "I'm not getting any younger!" At 85, that is the truth, but whatever time he has left, might as well be spent with someone he likes to be with and not his chair and television. So I'm hoping that they do make it official because it's great to see that even at 85 love and happiness can be found. Happy Birthday Grandpa! Here's to (at least) another ten happy in love years!!
Grandpa usually comes to visit us at least once a month. He likes to see the girls, and he and I chat and catch up for about an hour, before he heads back home. It was during one of these visits that he told me about this lady who kept saving him seats next to her at church functions. She saved him a seat after a wedding and at a Christmas celebration. He told me how she had tracked him down at the Christmas party to make sure he knew that she had a seat saved next to her.
"Um, Grandpa," I said. "I think she might like you."
"Well.... maybe," he agreed.
"Ask her out then!" I told him.
"Well, I was thinking about it, but she lives in Burbank and it's far to drive..." he said.
"Grandpa! You drive here to see us!!" I reminded him. "Why not come here to see her?"
He chuckled and said, "Well, maybe."
"Yes, do it!" I encouraged him. "Why not? It would be good for you to have someone to hang out with."
After Christmas, I didn't hear from him for a while. At the end of last year he had talked about going to visit my parents in Florida in January like he had the year before. They never heard from him. Then he called me in February one day to see if I was at home. He was in Burbank, and wanted to stop by. Apparently, he had taken my advice and for the past month and a half had been driving to Burbank at least twice a week to see Matea. He wanted to bring her by and introduce her to me and the girls. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of one of my crazy drive all over Burbank for gymnasticgirlscoutpianobaseball days and wasn't going to be home. I told him to let me know ahead of time when he'd be in town again, so I could make sure we could meet up. Otherwise, I told him to bring her to Lana's birthday party the next month. How was I to know how that disaster of a day would turn out? Unfortunately, that is what he ended up doing.
I don't know if any of you remember that story of Lana's awesome birthday party, but it was not a friendly environment for a couple in their 80's. Between the rain outside and the extreme noise inside, they weren't looking to stay for too long. Can't say I blamed them. I did manage to say hi and meet her for a brief minute. I was able to grab each of the girls for ten seconds to introduce them and then they were off. Grandpa and Matea went to the living room, had cake and then excused themselves about twenty minutes later. I felt bad but there was not much I could do except invite them over again in more calm and quiet circumstances.
So last week Grandpa and his girlfriend stopped by for a visit. The girls were all here and they had a little more time to show off their cuteness and yes, more of their craziness. Matea didn't seem to be bothered by the antics of my girls, and I had a chance to talk and get to know her. Turns out she was born and raised in Burbank. She also raised her four kids here. She is a very sweet woman and likes Grandpa A LOT. They sat on the couch next to each other, holding hands and making googly eyes the entire time they were here. If they weren't so much older it would have been annoying, but I gotta admit, Geriatric love is adorable.
They left after about an hour or so. I gave Grandpa a birthday card with a gift certificate to one of five different restaurants. He was excited and announced that he had wanted to take her to one of those places. I was excited he had someone to go with him out to eat again. He was happier than I've seen him in years. It sounds cheesy, but there is a certain spark in his eye. He's found a reason to keep going, and I couldn't be happier.
After they left, that night at dinner Sonya said to me,
"Hey mom, if Great-Grandpa and Matea get married, will she be my Great-Grandma?"
"Well, yeah sort of. She'll be your step Great-Grandma," I informed her. "Is that okay with you if that happens?"
"Oh yeah!" she said, excited at the prospect at another grandparent around.
I am also okay with this idea. My Grandpa and Matea were both concerned with how their families were going to react to their dating, but as far as I can tell, at least on Grandpa's side, we are all so very happy for him. He's brought up the subject of getting married to her a couple times to me. Sure it's only been four months, but as he said "I'm not getting any younger!" At 85, that is the truth, but whatever time he has left, might as well be spent with someone he likes to be with and not his chair and television. So I'm hoping that they do make it official because it's great to see that even at 85 love and happiness can be found. Happy Birthday Grandpa! Here's to (at least) another ten happy in love years!!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Taking Back The Power
A few weeks ago, when my friend Trista was here with her husband and baby, I came to a bad realization. My girls were starting to get out of control. They weren't listening to me at all, talking back and throwing tantrums more than ever. I had become somewhat complacent because, to be honest, sometimes I just get tired of doing this job. (Sorry Trista and Jesse for the girls' bad behavior). Then we went to visit Andy at work later that same week, and I saw even more clearly how unruly they were becoming. We went to say hi to his boss and the girls did everything but turn the place upside down, ignoring every "no, stop that" Andy and I uttered. Yeah, it wasn't good. I realized I had to do something. I couldn't let them continue to act like crazy kids. I know that children aren't going to be well behaved all the time, but I did not want to have those kids who were terrible constantly. So, I decided to seek help in a book called
1-2-3 Magic, by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan.
This is a book I read years ago, when Sonya was younger and starting to show signs of insubordination. I put it into practice back then and it worked. I've tried to continue to use it, but you know, things fall by the wayside after a while. Having babies fifteen months apart will do that to you. So, I decided I needed a refresher course.
I pulled the book off the shelf and skimmed through it hitting the major points. The basic idea is that you use counting to stop bad behavior like, talking back, yelling, fighting, tantrums, etc. We all mostly use counting to three in some form, as have I. The key is to not get stuck on two....two and haaallllfff... and to also keep your emotions out of it. Something I have a VERY hard time with. I sometimes am the one having the temper tantrums. When you get to a count of three, they get a time out or another consequence you've established. In our house the key thing to take away is treats. In other houses it might be TV or video games, but neither of those works for us. They could care less about video games and rarely watch TV anymore. But treats...you'd think I was taking away Christmas. The other half of the discipline is to use timers or charts for "start behaviors". This includes cleaning their rooms, unloading the dishwasher, or even eating dinner. That last one is for Lana. If they don't get whatever they are supposed to get done in their allowed amount of time, they have a consequence. If it's cleaning their rooms and it's not done in the twenty minutes I give them, then I take all the toys not in their proper place and put them in a garbage bag. Then they go off to the garage until the next evening. If Lana doesn't eat her dinner in twenty minutes-or most of it-then she misses out on any type of bread we are having or a dessert, if that is offered. I know, I'm mean, but damn if it didn't start to work.
I explained the rules to the girls when I started this a few weeks back. They all understood, but they were all taken aback by how serious I was about this. I think that first week everyone had at least one or two timeouts a day and there were no treats for anyone for at least five days. It was a rough week, as they figured out how serious I was about this. Lana and Georgia lost half their toys to the garage one night. I know they didn't think I would do it, but I sure did. They cried for fifteen minutes about their lost toys. Here's the thing, it's not like they were cleaning that whole time and just ran out of time to finish. If that was the case I would give them more time to clean up their mess. However, twenty minutes is more than enough time for them to do what needs to be done. They just chose to screw around for the first twelve minutes. Turns out eight minutes is NOT enough time for them to clean up their huge mess. The next night they had everything cleaned up in ten. They were not about to lose their toys for a second night. If nothing else, they learn quickly!
After a week, I was giddy with how well my new strategy was working. They were doing what they were asked. The back talk and eye rolls were kept to a minimum, and I was actually starting to like them again. Then we had a backslide last week for a few days, where they didn't want to listen and I may have been a bit more irritable, letting my emotions get the better of me at times. PMS. It happens. What can you do? So it's not a perfect system, because I'm not perfect and neither are they, but it's one that seems to be working a lot better than what I was doing before. Before it was just a lot of me yelling and giving up. I feel more in control and better about my parenting. I even started a star chart for them to encourage their good behavior. I didn't want things to be taken away from them only. They needed to want to be good for something, not just so they wouldn't lose treats. So now when they do something good, or do a chore when asked the first time, I let them color in a star. When they get to the end of the stars-14 of them-they get to pick a prize from the prize box. Otherwise known as the $1 Target bin.
The girls are not always happy with this new system and sometimes become more irritated when I start to count them. This, of course, leads me to the next number sooner and usually lands them in time out. They can't be good all the time, but this is definitely helping them learn to make better choices and become more well behaved. I guess I didn't realize how much this was annoying them, or at least Sonya, until I was in her room changing her sheets last week. Her closet door was open and I noticed a paper on the floor with her writing. It looked like one of her "projects" she likes to work on, so I picked it up to see what she was working on, then laughed aloud when I saw this:
I guess she really wasn't happy with the new system, and this was her way of getting back at me. It makes sense, because she was probably the one most affected. Lana is used to time outs, and Georgia doesn't really get in trouble all that often. Sonya, however, had been getting difficult for me to deal with. She had more timeouts and treats taken away in that first week than I'm sure either of us care to admit. She gets it now, and is starting to be more respectful of me. Something she was seriously lacking before, which was my fault for not teaching her or demanding it more.
We all let our kids get out of control every once in a while, but the important thing is to recognize it and reel them in before they get to "Oh my god! Did you see what that little girl did??" status. It's never to late to discipline your kids. If you need help, I highly recommend this book, although I'm sure there's other great ones out there. The important thing is to just do it. It will suck for everyone for a couple weeks and might even seem to stop working from time to time, but keep with it. Those of us who are trying to do everything we can to raise our kids to be good people, don't want our kids to have nothing but assholes to associate with in the future, just because their parents didn't feel like disciplining them. Don't let me fool you into thinking I know it all, however. I still suck at this some days, but I just keep trying. This job is tough but you can't give up, even if there are days you want to. If you do, you let the terrorists win. At least that's what I've heard.
1-2-3 Magic, by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan.
This is a book I read years ago, when Sonya was younger and starting to show signs of insubordination. I put it into practice back then and it worked. I've tried to continue to use it, but you know, things fall by the wayside after a while. Having babies fifteen months apart will do that to you. So, I decided I needed a refresher course.
I pulled the book off the shelf and skimmed through it hitting the major points. The basic idea is that you use counting to stop bad behavior like, talking back, yelling, fighting, tantrums, etc. We all mostly use counting to three in some form, as have I. The key is to not get stuck on two....two and haaallllfff... and to also keep your emotions out of it. Something I have a VERY hard time with. I sometimes am the one having the temper tantrums. When you get to a count of three, they get a time out or another consequence you've established. In our house the key thing to take away is treats. In other houses it might be TV or video games, but neither of those works for us. They could care less about video games and rarely watch TV anymore. But treats...you'd think I was taking away Christmas. The other half of the discipline is to use timers or charts for "start behaviors". This includes cleaning their rooms, unloading the dishwasher, or even eating dinner. That last one is for Lana. If they don't get whatever they are supposed to get done in their allowed amount of time, they have a consequence. If it's cleaning their rooms and it's not done in the twenty minutes I give them, then I take all the toys not in their proper place and put them in a garbage bag. Then they go off to the garage until the next evening. If Lana doesn't eat her dinner in twenty minutes-or most of it-then she misses out on any type of bread we are having or a dessert, if that is offered. I know, I'm mean, but damn if it didn't start to work.
I explained the rules to the girls when I started this a few weeks back. They all understood, but they were all taken aback by how serious I was about this. I think that first week everyone had at least one or two timeouts a day and there were no treats for anyone for at least five days. It was a rough week, as they figured out how serious I was about this. Lana and Georgia lost half their toys to the garage one night. I know they didn't think I would do it, but I sure did. They cried for fifteen minutes about their lost toys. Here's the thing, it's not like they were cleaning that whole time and just ran out of time to finish. If that was the case I would give them more time to clean up their mess. However, twenty minutes is more than enough time for them to do what needs to be done. They just chose to screw around for the first twelve minutes. Turns out eight minutes is NOT enough time for them to clean up their huge mess. The next night they had everything cleaned up in ten. They were not about to lose their toys for a second night. If nothing else, they learn quickly!
After a week, I was giddy with how well my new strategy was working. They were doing what they were asked. The back talk and eye rolls were kept to a minimum, and I was actually starting to like them again. Then we had a backslide last week for a few days, where they didn't want to listen and I may have been a bit more irritable, letting my emotions get the better of me at times. PMS. It happens. What can you do? So it's not a perfect system, because I'm not perfect and neither are they, but it's one that seems to be working a lot better than what I was doing before. Before it was just a lot of me yelling and giving up. I feel more in control and better about my parenting. I even started a star chart for them to encourage their good behavior. I didn't want things to be taken away from them only. They needed to want to be good for something, not just so they wouldn't lose treats. So now when they do something good, or do a chore when asked the first time, I let them color in a star. When they get to the end of the stars-14 of them-they get to pick a prize from the prize box. Otherwise known as the $1 Target bin.
The girls are not always happy with this new system and sometimes become more irritated when I start to count them. This, of course, leads me to the next number sooner and usually lands them in time out. They can't be good all the time, but this is definitely helping them learn to make better choices and become more well behaved. I guess I didn't realize how much this was annoying them, or at least Sonya, until I was in her room changing her sheets last week. Her closet door was open and I noticed a paper on the floor with her writing. It looked like one of her "projects" she likes to work on, so I picked it up to see what she was working on, then laughed aloud when I saw this:
We all let our kids get out of control every once in a while, but the important thing is to recognize it and reel them in before they get to "Oh my god! Did you see what that little girl did??" status. It's never to late to discipline your kids. If you need help, I highly recommend this book, although I'm sure there's other great ones out there. The important thing is to just do it. It will suck for everyone for a couple weeks and might even seem to stop working from time to time, but keep with it. Those of us who are trying to do everything we can to raise our kids to be good people, don't want our kids to have nothing but assholes to associate with in the future, just because their parents didn't feel like disciplining them. Don't let me fool you into thinking I know it all, however. I still suck at this some days, but I just keep trying. This job is tough but you can't give up, even if there are days you want to. If you do, you let the terrorists win. At least that's what I've heard.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Hello Kitty Cupcakes For Lana
I thought before it got to far away from Lana's birthday, I would share with you the Hello Kitty cupcakes I made for her party and to take to her school. Because, you know, I'm getting all creative with my cupcakes lately, and "Cupcake Wars" is sooo going to be calling me any day now. These gals were a bit easier to make than the giraffes from a couple months ago, but still all my own creation. Here's what you need:
Cupcakes-(duh)
white frosting
black frosting or a small black gel frosting tube
yellow skittles or M&Ms
white fudge Flipz pretzels
sour patch kids
Frost the cupcakes with white frosting. Then, using the black frosting or gel tube, make the eyes and the whiskers. The eyes are more vertically oval than they are round.
After that I took a yellow skittle or M&M and put it in between the eyes for the nose.
Then I took a Flipz pretzel and carefully cut it into thirds. Be careful cutting these, because they have a tendency to break into more than three pieces. I chose the best two to stick in the top of the cupcake for her ears.
The finishing touch was the bow. At first I had no idea what I was going to use. As it turns out, Sour Patch Kids look like a hair bow. So I placed a Sour Patch Kid horizontally on the right "ear".
Viola! Hello Kitty Cupcakes. Please direct "Cupcake Wars" to this blog so they know who to contact for their "Kids Birthday Parties" episode.
Cupcakes-(duh)
white frosting
black frosting or a small black gel frosting tube
yellow skittles or M&Ms
white fudge Flipz pretzels
sour patch kids
Frost the cupcakes with white frosting. Then, using the black frosting or gel tube, make the eyes and the whiskers. The eyes are more vertically oval than they are round.
After that I took a yellow skittle or M&M and put it in between the eyes for the nose.
Then I took a Flipz pretzel and carefully cut it into thirds. Be careful cutting these, because they have a tendency to break into more than three pieces. I chose the best two to stick in the top of the cupcake for her ears.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
My New Obsession
A couple months ago, I started hearing rumblings about these books called, "The Hunger Games". I had heard about the movie that was coming out in March, but knew nothing of it. It wasn't on my radar at all. Then I went to my monthly meeting for the board I'm on at the school I take Lana and Georgia to. Someone mentioned the movie and the books, and one of the moms started telling us how great they were and briefly described the premise. It intrigued me, but I was in the middle of a book at the time, so I just filed it away in my memory bank for a later date. Except things tend to get lost in there these day, so I kinda forgot about it. Then about a month ago, I started hearing more and more about the books everywhere, due to the movie soon to be released. Anyone who had read the books loved them, so I decided to give 'em a go.
I ordered the first one from Amazon and by the time I got it, I was ready to start a new book. I was immediately sucked in and found myself trying to find any time to read even a page. I stayed up way later than I should have, spent extra time in the bathroom, and let the kids play a bit longer in the bathtub, just so I could read more. It was SO DAMN GOOD! I hadn't been into a book like that since "Harry Potter". Most of the time it takes me a few weeks to get through a book, because I rarely have time to read. But when you're staying up until 1am, turns out you can get through a book in a week. Which is what I did.
When I ordered that book, I thought about ordering all three, but decided against it. What if I didn't like the first one and didn't care about reading the others. This is kind of how I felt about "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo". Not that it wasn't good, I just don't really care all that much about reading the others. It never hooked me like this one did. Well, once I read the last page of "The Hunger Games", I was cursing myself that I didn't get the other two.
I thought about going on line and ordering them on Amazon, but that would take a few days for them to arrive. I didn't think I could wait even an hour to see what sort of fate waited for Katniss and Peeta. I had to go to Target anyway that week, so why not just pick up the books while I was there? Okay, perhaps I went to Target to get the books and got other things I needed while I was there, but whatever. I didn't go just to get the books. You can't go to Target to just get one thing anyway. Ever. I swear there are subliminal messages hiding in that store to make you buy more stuff.
When I got there, I immediately went to the book section. It's not big, but they always have the latest best selling books. I stood in front of the best selling fiction section searching for the final two books in the series. Nothing. Didn't see them anywhere. Could the be sold out? No, there wasn't even a tag for them anywhere. I scanned each row of books, convinced I was just overlooking them. How could they NOT be there? This was the most popular book series of the moment. How could Target not sell them? It seemed impossible to me. Then I realized there were books on the next aisle behind the ones I was looking at. But I was looking at the best sellers, which I was certain they were, so what on earth was on the other side? I turned the corner and found my books in the section marked:
Young Adult
Yup. I like the books for kids! Okay, but young adult means at least 18-24ish right? So that's not THAT bad. I mean I'm going to be 38 in two weeks, but whatever. Then I reminded myself, that wait, I don't care. That first book was awesome and I can't wait to read the second and third one. Besides, I was and am a huge fan of the "Harry Potter" series and those weren't exactly meant for middle age adults either. Yet just about everyone I know has read them. And really the way Sonya reads, she just might ask to read "The Hunger Games" in the next couple of years. I have to make sure it's appropriate for her age, so let's just call it research.
I grabbed the books and threw them in my cart, then went and found the other $80 worth of things I didn't really need to buy. It took me less than a week to read the second and I'm currently on the last book. I'm trying to take my time with this one though, because I know it's the last one. Plus I REALLY needed to start going to bed earlier. I was starting to feel like I did when the girls were newborns. Oh and I needed to stop neglecting them for the books because one day, when I was trying to sneak a read in, Sonya said to me,
"Boy! You really do like those Hunger Games books!"
Yes, yes I do. But hey, I will try to cut you a little slack in a couple years when you are hiding under your covers with these books and a flashlight until 11pm trying to get, "just one more chapter" in.
I ordered the first one from Amazon and by the time I got it, I was ready to start a new book. I was immediately sucked in and found myself trying to find any time to read even a page. I stayed up way later than I should have, spent extra time in the bathroom, and let the kids play a bit longer in the bathtub, just so I could read more. It was SO DAMN GOOD! I hadn't been into a book like that since "Harry Potter". Most of the time it takes me a few weeks to get through a book, because I rarely have time to read. But when you're staying up until 1am, turns out you can get through a book in a week. Which is what I did.
When I ordered that book, I thought about ordering all three, but decided against it. What if I didn't like the first one and didn't care about reading the others. This is kind of how I felt about "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo". Not that it wasn't good, I just don't really care all that much about reading the others. It never hooked me like this one did. Well, once I read the last page of "The Hunger Games", I was cursing myself that I didn't get the other two.
I thought about going on line and ordering them on Amazon, but that would take a few days for them to arrive. I didn't think I could wait even an hour to see what sort of fate waited for Katniss and Peeta. I had to go to Target anyway that week, so why not just pick up the books while I was there? Okay, perhaps I went to Target to get the books and got other things I needed while I was there, but whatever. I didn't go just to get the books. You can't go to Target to just get one thing anyway. Ever. I swear there are subliminal messages hiding in that store to make you buy more stuff.
When I got there, I immediately went to the book section. It's not big, but they always have the latest best selling books. I stood in front of the best selling fiction section searching for the final two books in the series. Nothing. Didn't see them anywhere. Could the be sold out? No, there wasn't even a tag for them anywhere. I scanned each row of books, convinced I was just overlooking them. How could they NOT be there? This was the most popular book series of the moment. How could Target not sell them? It seemed impossible to me. Then I realized there were books on the next aisle behind the ones I was looking at. But I was looking at the best sellers, which I was certain they were, so what on earth was on the other side? I turned the corner and found my books in the section marked:
Young Adult
Yup. I like the books for kids! Okay, but young adult means at least 18-24ish right? So that's not THAT bad. I mean I'm going to be 38 in two weeks, but whatever. Then I reminded myself, that wait, I don't care. That first book was awesome and I can't wait to read the second and third one. Besides, I was and am a huge fan of the "Harry Potter" series and those weren't exactly meant for middle age adults either. Yet just about everyone I know has read them. And really the way Sonya reads, she just might ask to read "The Hunger Games" in the next couple of years. I have to make sure it's appropriate for her age, so let's just call it research.
I grabbed the books and threw them in my cart, then went and found the other $80 worth of things I didn't really need to buy. It took me less than a week to read the second and I'm currently on the last book. I'm trying to take my time with this one though, because I know it's the last one. Plus I REALLY needed to start going to bed earlier. I was starting to feel like I did when the girls were newborns. Oh and I needed to stop neglecting them for the books because one day, when I was trying to sneak a read in, Sonya said to me,
"Boy! You really do like those Hunger Games books!"
Yes, yes I do. But hey, I will try to cut you a little slack in a couple years when you are hiding under your covers with these books and a flashlight until 11pm trying to get, "just one more chapter" in.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Snap It Out
For the past couple of weeks the girls have been yelling this phrase at each other:
"Snap it out!"
I don't know where they got it or why they started saying, or even what they meant by it. So one day at breakfast, after listing to all three of them yell "Snap it out!"while trying to snap at each other, I inquired about it.
"Where did you guys get that?"
"I don't know," Sonya said shrugging her shoulders.
"Well, what does it mean? Why are you saying it?" I asked.
"It just means snap it out," Sonya told me.
Oh well, thanks for clearing that up.
"But why are you saying it?" I tried again.
Sonya thought a minute and said, "It means when you want someone to stop doing something."
"Oooohhhh!!" I said, realizing what they meant. "I think you mean 'snap out of it'." Somewhere along the way, I'm sure they've heard the phrase. I may have even said it myself a time or two, they just transposed the words.
Then Sonya sighed, rolled her eyes at me and said, "NO mom! It's 'snap it out'!"
Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize in her seven years she gained more wisdom and knowledge than I have in almost 38. I guess I should just "snap it out".
"Snap it out!"
I don't know where they got it or why they started saying, or even what they meant by it. So one day at breakfast, after listing to all three of them yell "Snap it out!"while trying to snap at each other, I inquired about it.
"Where did you guys get that?"
"I don't know," Sonya said shrugging her shoulders.
"Well, what does it mean? Why are you saying it?" I asked.
"It just means snap it out," Sonya told me.
Oh well, thanks for clearing that up.
"But why are you saying it?" I tried again.
Sonya thought a minute and said, "It means when you want someone to stop doing something."
"Oooohhhh!!" I said, realizing what they meant. "I think you mean 'snap out of it'." Somewhere along the way, I'm sure they've heard the phrase. I may have even said it myself a time or two, they just transposed the words.
Then Sonya sighed, rolled her eyes at me and said, "NO mom! It's 'snap it out'!"
Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize in her seven years she gained more wisdom and knowledge than I have in almost 38. I guess I should just "snap it out".
Monday, April 2, 2012
Paradise
One of my friends got Lana this "auto tuner" microphone Paper Jamz for her birthday. The girls all LOVE it. Okay, I LOVE it. (Thanks Kelly Kimball!) It's fun to sing into and listen to it distort your voice to make it sound better, or worse. Last week I recorded the little girls singing Coldplay's "Paradise" into it. Why that song? This is their current favorite song to sing. Well, that and Fun's "We Are Young". Yup, nothing like your 3 and 5 year old singing to a song about getting drunk at a bar and having someone there to carry you home. What?? It's a GOOD song! Anyway-I stuck with recording this one. Also because they will be hearing it a bunch more as I play it over and over again to get ready for their concert in May. My family just bought me tickets for my birthday! I'm so excited! I hear Coldplay puts on one of the best shows ever. Thanks Mom, Dad, Beth and Megan! Now, maybe if I can get this video to Chris Martin, he'll upgrade my seats to front row. Or call me for a playmate with Apple and Moses. How could he not with all that talent and cuteness?